Who's That Guy: Michael Esper

     I have been catching up on two of my recent new favorite shows and I discovered they share someone in common. Michael Esper is on ABC's new drama The Family as Adam's alleged kidnapper (the hole-faced man), and he also plays IA cop Donnie in the Jennifer Lopez-led NBC drama Shades of Blue. In both shows, he plays a total creeper.

The Family
     We're almost a month into ABC's story of the Warren family. Their 8-year-old son Adam was kidnapped and recently appears after ten years. Adam was captured by Esper's Doug, described by Adam as the hole-faced man. Adam's mother Claire (Joan Allen) was running for city council at the time of the kidnapping and may have used her lost child as a way to get her political career started. Claire announces her campaign for governor upon Adam's resurfacing. The Warrens' neighbor Hank (Andrew McCarthy, also a director on the project) was convicted of kidnapping and killing Adam with little evidence and prior crime involving children. Now Hank is free and looking to take out revenge on Claire and her clan. Estranged husband John (Rupert Graves) has been seeing the lead detective on the case for almost ten years while Adam's  grown siblings Willa and Danny both dealt with losing their brother in destructive ways, becoming an ultra conservative campaign aide to mom and becoming an alcoholic, as they were last responsible for Adam.

     The FBI and local police are trying to track down Doug, but were derailed in the last episode. Meanwhile, Esper's Doug has a wife and a baby on the way! Clearly his wife had no idea he was keeping a little boy in a bunker for all those years. The real question comes from Danny's friend, blogger Bridey, who is investigating if Adam is really who he says he is. For the record, this boy is not Adam. It's been alluded that Adam's genetic test might have been faked and Claire has received donations from a genetics lab. Also Willa planted Adam's toy in Hank's house to ensure an arrest.  Is this all a political scam? Will the show conclude with all questions resolved? Only time will tell.

Photo from TVGeekTalk.com

Shades of Blue
     This photo shocked SOB fans when it was discovered that Internal Affairs investigator Donnie Pomp (Esper) was having a secret, years-long affair with the closeted and married Lt. Wozniak. Donnie Pomp was first introduced as investigating Wozniak's (Ray Liotta's) crew and making sure their illegal activities were overlooked by the department. Wozniak's group collects payments from businesses in order to keep the peace in their Brooklyn precinct. Jennifer Lopez's Harlee is caught by the FBI and (the short story) forced to inform on the crew who have become a family to her, with 'Woz' as the power-hungry papa. Harlee wears a wire to protect her daughter Christina and get immunity in all of her crimes. FBI special agent Stahl (Warren Kole) tortures Harlee on her quest to get dirt on Woz.

      Donnie is the first person to reveal to Woz there is a mole in the crew. Woz goes crazy on Harlee, almost killing her, and almost killing other members of the crew. Finally, Woz kills Detective Saperstein for being picked up by the FBI for questioning. Harlee vows to get enough information to send Woz to jail for life. After leaving a bug in Woz's office, Harlee and Shatl discover Woz and Pomp's relationship and Pomp's introduction into a job that will be the group's final big score. This score will also bring down Woz's crew. I am playing catch-up with the show, but all will be resolved in tonight's season finale.

     I must congratulate Esper for playing two equally creepy baddies. What will become of his two tortured villains? I'll keep checking with the FBI...

A Crazy Town Full of Neon Dreams

     Wednesday night marked the long-coming wedding between Nashville's Deacon and Rayna. As the two country superstars united in a 20-plus years coming marriage, they struggled to keep their privacy. As a cool publicity move, ABC created a page on The Knot in honor of the couple's wedding. The page was filled with photos of the couple (played by Connie Britton and Charles Esten) a link to their favorite songs, and information about the places in Nashville that meant the most to them. It's an odd sort of ploy, but the show ties so heavily into town tourism, I can see why they went this way. I happen to be on my way to Nashville this weeks o I will keep my eyes peeled for any juicy gossip!

Image from Pintrest

     The wedding itself was one for the record books. The groom almost ran away, the brides's kids put up a fight about coming, and her sister said something to the effect of "Are you sure you really want to do this?" But Rayna and Deacon said "I Do," while all of the guests struggled with the last-minute change in venues and imploding personal lives.  Avery Barkley (Jonathan Jackson) is still married to superstar Juliet Barnes (Hayden Panettiere) and he has reached his breaking point about lying to the press about where Juliet is (as she sought treatment on the show and in real life for post-partum depression.) Scarlett (Clare Bowen) attended her uncle's wedding solo and pal Gunnar (Sam Palladio) tried to set her up with a ton of weird guys, only proving that they really belong with each other if they could only admit it. Rayna's ex Luke is still losing all of his money and his miserable son Colt finally starts telling people that Juliet was trying to jump off a hotel roof when slimy record executive Jeff Fordham (Oliver Hudson) accidentally fell to his death. This whole situation is not going to end well, but maybe this will finally give bring wannabe Layla (Audrey Peeples) an exit. Also Chris Carmack's Will Lexington is still a gay country singer. He declined to attend the wedding to avoid the press asking him the same questions over and over... so really nothing has changed among these background characters. If something doesn't change up soon, the show's chances of renewal are slim.

Hawaii 5-0: A Carte Blance Police Force

     TV cops have a long standing reputation of closing cases in 45 minutes (except for the O.J. case). How they go about it can sometimes be a stretch, and you know they have to cut some corners to do it. If today's media attention toward police screw-ups in any indication  If the judge is on the golf course, someone better contact his caddy to get that warrant, right? After a while I believe there's a fine line between defending justice and infringing on the rights of others. Maybe there's something powerful that draws the audience to situations like that. We love the thrill of the cat-and-mouse game, and nothing is more satisfying than capturing someone who really did something bad. But what if that person is supposed to be preserving the law?

     Some of my favorite moments in cop dramas have been about breaking the law. There's a memorable part of the Blue Bloods pilot where Det. Danny Reagan (Donnie Wahlberg) flushes a perp's face in a toilet to get information, which definitely falls under police brutality. Blue Bloods has long addressed issues of police conduct (and misconduct) and Police Commissioner Reagan (Tom Selleck) always supports his officers and policies until given reason to believe they are harmful to the public. There was at least one episode of Bones where Dr. Brennan (Emily Deschanel) an anthropologist partnered to an FBI agent, shot a perp. This happened in the pilot episode for chrissake! Her husband Booth (David Boranez) has shot multiple people over the years, and he shot a clown on top of an ice cream truck, which landed him in therapy. The first episode of Jennifer Lopez's Shades of Blue has J-Lo's Harley covering up her partner's shooting of an unarmed man that was playing single-shooter video games. Clearly, TV cops need some more regulation.

Image from Pintrest

    There is a much more corrupt group of cops on TV! What happens when you have a free-for-all police task force that is presided over by the Governor of the state? Then you have the Hawaii 5-0 and all hell breaks loose. These people are cops, but they have the worst luck when it comes to dating and getting people kidnapped. This police squad of misfits operates on their own with no oversight, and they have broken numerous laws to close cases. I also wonder how legal their desktop comoputer is. It's a computer screen the size of a desk that can search databases and find licenses in a matter of seconds.

     In this current season, Chi McBride's Lt.Grover, desperate to prove his old partner's guilt in murdering his wife, kidnaps his friend and holds him at gunpoint and threatens the guy's new girlfriend until he confesses. Don't sweat the small stuff, right? Grace Park's Kono married a reformed Japanese mob (Yakuza) kingpin at the end of last season, and by their honeymoon he is kidnapped, murdered innocent people in his escape, and is now in prison.  Last month, her cousin Chin Ho (Daniel Dae Kim) has a shootout with his deceased wife's brother. Chin gets a little wild and shoots the guy through a window of an abandoned building and he falls a few stories and lands on a car. Important to note, he is missing when the come to check on the body, so it's only an attempted murder. Was this a concerning turn of events for anyone else? Not so much. They were much more worried about Danno and Commander Steve McGarrett (Alex O'Loughlin) going to some partner training. When they arrived at the training session, they found out it was a couples' retreat and their witty banter really shown through as Danno suffered through a broken ankle in a three-legged race exercise. I'm not going to blame her, but even McGarrett's girlfriend Catherine saw 5-0 was a toxic environment. Catherine returned for Kono's wedding and just as McGarrett was about to propose, she packed her bags and left for a humanitarian mission (or maybe not, as we discovered last week that she is on a  classified mission in Nepal).
   
     Elsewhere, the FBI took aside Danno (Scott Caan) to investigate what happened to a half-million dollars his brother had in his possession before he was murdered. Somehow his mother got access to the money and the FBI thinks Danny knowingly helped his brother hide the stolen money as an accessory. If this is the FBI's in-road, they need to think again about their priorities. People near to the 5-0 are getting murdered left and right. Plus the group makes their own rules of what constitutes torture for their perps in the windowless interrogation room.  If anyone remembers, the first Governor of Hawaii who created the 5-0 (Jean Smart) got murdered and 5-0 leader McGarrett was framed for it, because who wouldn't believe the leader of a no-rules task force would eliminate the one person standing in his way. Now McGarrett is a pretty decent guy, but let's not forget his mother, renowned criminal Doris (and long thought to be dead) got away with tons of bad stuff because Steve failed to bring her to jail,  and she is still out there and is a hired assassin.

     Now with the FBI on their heels, the 5-0 is going to need to accept responsibility for their errors in judgment and reckless behavior. Inspector Abby Dunn,  (Julie Benz) a recent visitor to 5-0 from San Francisco has come to observe how the group works so she can start her own task force. So naturally with more eyes watching, the group should be making a good impression. But since she has been here, several bad things have happened (See Chin-Ho and the brother-in-law shooting). So imagine my surprise when Abby lied about a trip to San Francisco a few weeks ago, and then she turned up on the other side of Danno's police interrogation. Now, we found out she is an FBI plant to help disband 5-0. No why would anyone want to disband the 5-0 (aside from the above mentioned misconduct)? Of course, the lead investigator's brother was murdered and he has investigated 5-0 last season, so that's all we need in terms of a motive for this show. The reason I find this plot so amusing is that on the beloved 90's alien drama Roswell, Benz also played an FBI agent. Pretending to be the school guidance counselor, agent Topolsky got a little to close to the aliens and she died in a mysterious fire. Hopefully the same fate does not await her in Hawaii.

TV Theme Songs Revisited- Whatever Happened to Full House

     Since I'm sure you haven't been living under a rock, I'm sure you know Full House is back on Netflix as a new iteration called Fuller House. It's still the same D.J. (Candace Cameron-Bure), Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin), and neighbor Kimmy Gibbler (Andrea Barber), raising up some kiddos in the old Tanner family home in San Francisco. Eldest daughter Donna Jo is very straight-laced like her father, Danny, and she is recently widowed with three boys, which is the exact opposite of how the Tanner girls grew up. Her sister Stephanie (Uncle Jesse much?) and best friend Kimmy (definitely the essence of weird Joey) are moving in to help. Now Kimmy is a mom, and her teenage daughter adds the Disney-channel style sass. I have yet to delve into the hew show, but I will blog the moment it happens. I'm really here to express my interest in the rebooted theme song. Some of you younger folks might not know what a theme song is. Once upon a time (or at least a good ten years ago), all shows (drama and sitcoms) had an opening song that described the sentiment of the show and showed memorable scenes of the characters, introducing the actors by name. Fuller House took the opportunity to re-do it's theme song, Everywhere You Look.

     The theme song was performed by ABC's TV theme hit-maker of the late 80's and early 90's, Jesse Frederick. Jesse also song and penned themes for Family Matters, Perfect Strangers and Step By Step so he was the king of this stuff in the 90's. Most recently, Jesse debuted his version of The Tonight Show theme song. Back in Fuller House land, he worked with Carly Rae Jepsen (Call Me  Maybe*). This song is getting a lot of buzz, appearing in the show teaser and even being sung by CRJ and Danny Tanner himself,  Bob Saget last week. The tune uses the same words and melody of the original song with more of a poppy, twangy take on the song that asks "Whatever happened to predictability?" Please check out the amazing podcast from the Tuner crew that delves deep into the musicality of the two different versions of the theme song. There's also a bonus mash up of the songs together that sounds really weird and pretty cool. Tuner has some amazing podcasts and I have become a total fan girl after discovering them last week, thanks to my trusty Google App!


* Stay Tuned for a post next week where we really dissect the meaning of Carly Rae Jepsen's hit. I have so much more to say about this song.

The (Ticket) Struggle is Real

     I love going to live events! I enjoy taking in theater, hockey games, and live music. Much to my dismay, I am finding this more and more difficult to do. I was recently looking for tickets for not one but two concerts and I found out that clearly humans have little to no chance of getting seats (not even decent seats) for a show.

John Mayer 2007 @ MSG

     If one does want to get tickets, be prepared to shell out big bucks (upwards of $75.00 a ticket in most cases for a terrible seat). To compare, I went to see John Mayer at Madison Square Garden in the Winter of 2007, nine years ago. My friends and I (three ladies waiting for Your Body is a Wonderland)  paid about $40.00 per seat in the 400's section (which does not exist since the MSG remodel), but it was a second or third row in the upper upper most spot of the stadium. The seats were OK, but with a camera zoom lens we could see John pretty great! The crowd was in good spirits and the music was flowing, so we had a blast. 

      In the Winter of 2010, I attended John Mayer at the Garden again. This event was legendary!

John Mayer @ MSG in 2010.

        I still have a photo of it up at my desk to remind me of the amazing night. I also happened to be the night a major snowstorm hit NYC and almost shut down the city. But I digress, back to the story of how I scored these amazing seats. I sat on my computer refreshing the page over and over again at 10 am on the day-before pre-sale. I got the pre-sale code simply for buying the album, not join any silly fan club or having a special credit card or any other nonsense that's available now. My friend was in disbelief because I called her with the news: we were sitting on the floor, in row E (read this, 5th row on the floor). She thought there must be some kind of catch. Maybe there were double letter seats before the single letters? She was wrong and we did have amazing 5th row seats. The catch? We paid a flat $90.00 to sit about 12 feet from the stage. The concert was like a dream, the kind you do not want to wake up from.  First of all, I felt like I was at some kind of exclusive party. Second of all, we got a private floor-only bathroom and our own concessions and merchandise stands! We will never, and have never had seats close to this good since then.

    In the summer of 2013, my friend and I saw John Mayer again in a large, open-air venue in Hartford, CT. The seats were in the second section back and while still closer than the first show, still so far away. We paid $70.00 for these seats and were disappointed because it was not as good as the 2010 experience. But we barely managed to snag these seats due to increasingly difficult measures from Ticketmaster.

Luke Bryan Ticket 1st Day Pre-Sale

    First of all, Ticketmaster is the only major ticketing site to buy first chance tickets. Sites like STUBHUB sometimes grant a last-minute deal, but it's rare to see seats for anything there for the actual face value. After successfully battling each layer of Ticketmaster's elaborate process, (logging into your account, selecting the correct date, choosing only images of hot dogs, clicking "I'm not a robot" etc..) , you begin your queue in line while someone is nabbing all of the tickets, leaving something like the photo below. This (LEFT) is a screenshot for last week's pre-sale of a Luke Bryan concert in Atlantic City. On the first day of pre-sale, only single tickets were left in sections. How could all of the seats in a row be selected except single seats on the ends? Even stranger than that, why are single seats left in the middle of sections? or even stranger, in the middle of sections?

Luke Bryan Seats Left 3 Days After Sale

     Are there any seats left for the actual sale date? My assumption at this point would be no if you're planning to go to the concert with another person. So, why are all the tickets disappearing in pre-sales? Clearly internet geniuses and spambots are taking them for scalpers. Plus, the ridiculous number of pre-sales give some people special privileges over the average Joe. It's very disheartening also that to go to a show, you have to shell out $100 bucks per seat. This is not a casual night out with friends, it's a commitment that can cause lots of issues and friendship fights.  What do the good people get left with, higher prices (the 200's section seats here costs $79.00 plus $16.00 in fees, totaling about $95.00) Plus, if you have a carload of people who want to go to the show, you might as well plan to get different seats spread out all over the venue, because you will not be sitting together. If you're lucky you might be able to secure two seats together. This stress, this lack of availability, and this high price makes every concert a long shot dream instead of a fun night out. Let's find a way to make the concerts about the music again! #ConcertsForAll

Remember That Decade: The Goldbergs Bring the 80's Back

     The Goldbergs is a unique family sitcom based on the real life of Adam F. Goldberg, who grew up in the 1980's outside of Philadelphia. Adam is the youngest of three kids, and he follows his family (a real cast of characters) with a video camera. You may recognize these types of people in your own family.  You may have been a kid in the 80's and relate to some of the very humorous story lines. You may even enjoy watching with your own family to be grateful they're not this neurotic. If you family is this neurotic, let's chat!

     The most recent episode pitted siblings Erica and Barry in a fight about a school dance, which Erica planned with a Dirty Dancing theme (which school administration and Mrs. Goldberg changed their mind about after thinking what qualifies as "dirty"). Barry insists he will show up at the dance dressed like Kevin Bacon from Footloose and encourages Erica to dance out her frustrations in an "angry dance" scene. In the end, Erica gets humiliated and then has her spotlight dance with Barry's friend Geoff, who is obsessively (Say Anything boombox-style) in love with her. In another recent episode, Adam also tries to sneak into the movies to see the R-rated Weekend at Bernie's, shocking his mother and making poppa Murray proud.

     In a third hilarious episode (Laney Loves Lionel), Barry decided to create a clay bust of his girlfriend Lainey for valentine's day in honor of her affection for the Lionel Ritchie song Hello. It does not end well as Barry has a short temper and very few artistic skills.   I love this show and it's made it three seasons full of amusing anecdotes and embarrassing coming-of-age stories, similar to the beloved early 90's classic, The Wonder Years. Older Adam (voiced by Patton Oswald) narrates the beginning of each episode and a video tape is inserted into the VCR to begin the story. Here are the reasons to watch and catch up.

Photo from the web. 

Murray- Dad (Jeff Garlin)
     Murray comes home from work and drops his pants, taking up residence on.the armchair. He loves football, watching football, his dog Lucky, and calling his kids morons.  He does not like to talk about mentions and you will rarely see him dance, but he's got a deep heart in there somewhere. He also has one friend, Bill.

Photo from Pintrest. 

Pops (Beverly's Dad) (George Segel)
     Pops lives nearby in a retirement community, but he hangs at the house on a regular basis. The kids get upset when pops buys a timeshare in Florida because he might not be around as much. Adam regularly declares Pops is his best friend, and pops dispenses advice to everyone, whether they are ready to hear it, or they are too stubborn. He attempts to bail Erica out of jail, despite not having a license. Most important, Pops agrees to go along with all of Adam's crazy ideas (filming an alternate ending to Transformers, auditioning for Double Dare, bringing two girls to the school dance).

Beverly - Mom (Wendy McLendon-Covey)

Photo from Pintrest.

     Adam's mother is often called a "smother" because she mothers to the umpteenth degree.  She calls all three kids schmoopie (or schmoops) and tries to get her "snuggles" in with each of them whenever possible. She does not want the kids to ever meet anyone they will love more than her, which can cause a lot of problems. She also scares the high school principal into getting her way often.

Photo from the web.

Erica - Sister (Hayley Orrantia)
     Adam's big sister Erica is 1980's cool. She wears crop tops, ripped lace and rocks a scrunchy like no other. She gets invited to cool parties with beer, sneaks out to go to concerts, sings in bands, tries to get out of her mom's clutches, and at the end of the day always has her brothers' backs. Beverly and Erica's conflict drives many of the stories, including one where Beverly  showed up at Erica's department store job to constantly use Erica's associate discount.. It's important to note, Adam Goldberg doesn't have a sister, he had two older brothers. But they would not have looked as good in a fringed jacket as she does. Erica's best friend Lainey (A.J. Michalka) is a close adopted member of the Goldberg family and slowly grows to love Barry, much to Erica's disgust.

Barry- Brother (Troy Gentile)

Photo courtesy of pintrest. 

Barry is the middle child and likes ka-ra-tae (and he is terrible at it). Barry is good at one thing and one thing only, a made-up game he and Adam play called "Ball Ball." When the school jock joins Barry's ball ball club at school, Barry is kicked out and competes in a series of events Adam sets up that only Barry could win at. Barry chases after his sister's friend Lainey for a good chunk of time before she finally gives in and begins dating him, although she is a quintessential cool girl and sometimes embarrassed by Barry' bold declaration of love (See Laniey Loves Lionel). When he has free time, Barry can be found trying to rap under the name "Big Tasty", break dancing, or hanging out in the WaWa parking lot with his friends, the JTP (Jenkinstown Posse).

Adam F. Goldberg (Sean Giambrone)

Photo from the web.

     Adam is a cute little middle school pipsqueak beginning puberty (or as Barry calls it, "The Pubening.") Adam carries a hefty video camera around to record his family's actions and to recreate his favorite movies, His best friend is pops, although he is also close with an elementary school pal Emmy, called Muscles Mirsky. Their clash over auditioning to Double Dare was priceless, as Adam got jealous of Emmy teaming up with the class jock, and he demands that pops be his partner. Pops is disgusted with picking through noses and kiddie pools of slime to find a flag and ultimately both kids lose out of the tryouts. The ultimate 80's fanboy, Adam is always found wearing shirts from his favorite movies, Star Wars, The Goonies, Tron and Transformers. Adam is the most willing to let mom indulge in her smothering, promising snuggies for small bits of freedom and dates with his first love, Dana, who moves away to Seattle.

T.Swiz: A Study in Literal vs. Figurative Storytelling

     I just heard Taylor Swift's newest catchy single, New Romantics on the radio for the first time! I had some time to reflect in the car about how Ms. Swift's recent music videos have portrayed her epic songs. While older and typically country favorites like Love Story (a classic and literal "Romeo meets Juliet" at the ball theme) and You Belong With Me (pitting band geek Taylor against cheerleader Taylor), things from the 1989 album have taken storytelling up a notch. These are not just music videos, these are mini-movies in some cases and true works of art.

Shake it Off
LITERAL: This song sounds like it appears on  the screen. SIO is a big, fun dance party with a pounding brass line. Taylor appears as a ballerina awkwardly pirouetting, an Adidas jumpsuit-  wearing rapper, and her regular self in a cute black crop top and leggings (think Audrey Hepburn). What to all of these scenes have in common? Dancing and having a good time, which is really the whole point of the song. Yes, the haters are gonna hate, but let it go and dance your troubles away! Grade A

Blank Space
LITERAL: Taylor is in a mansion full of wonders (Unicorns), ornate hedges, long dinner tables, and her couture wardrobe is to die for. She invites a gentleman over to visit, and they enjoy long walks, horseback riding, dancing in a grand empty ballroom, riding bikes, picnics, and other sorts of "falling in Love" vignettes. I personally love the long list of ex-lovers, signified by a hallway of oil painting and Taylor is shown straightening out her newest portrait. Then begins "screaming, crying, a perfect storm," and the tables turn. Word to the wise, do not cross Taylor, she may drop you phone in a pond or cut holes in your shirts.
GRADE A+

Style
FIGURATIVE:  There's a cute guy, as always. He's having late night fever dreams about Taylor, remembering her at the beach, her with bare shoulders exposed (scandalous)! White t-shirt, check. Red lips, check. Driving in a car, check. James Dean-ish looking guy, check. Still , this story is largely experimental and has an 80's vibe. Lots of fade-ins and fade outs, mirrors, white billowing curtains with projected images, a lot of real artsy things. Also, this song was alleged to be written about Harry Styles (momentary EWWW).
GRADE B-

Bad Blood
IS FIGURATAL  a word? This song is remixed with Kendrick Lamar for the music video version, so let it be said I prefer the album cut of the song much better. The song poses Taylor as a movie-style action star kicking ass and taking names as she assembled a squad (mostly a whose who of models) to have a girl gang fight in a post-apocalyptic wasteland This may not be what actually caused bad blood (alleged with Katy Perry over as backup dancer)  but is certainly espouses the sentiment. Kendrick raps and plays some sort of Charlie's-angels-esque boss. Please also enjoy Tina Fey and Amy Pohler's SNL spoof about their own squad.
GRADE C+

Wildest Dreams
FIGURATIVE: Here, Taylor plays a movie star (with deep brown locks) with a "handsome as hell" co-star in a Casablanca-like desert setting. They have chemistry during filming and off-screen a steamy affair ensues,Of course, he appears at the movie premiere with his wife and Taylor is heartbroken. She leaves the premiere and he chases after her car, but it's too too late to change her mind. She catches him in the rear view mirror.  Does anyone remember Britney's Lucky? Something about this video reminded me of that. It also reminded me of the surprise ending of Dido's White Flag music video.
GRADE B+

Out of the Woods
FIGURATIVE: This song says "Are we out of the woods?" repeatedly, but the woods themselves are a construct, a state of mind, something only temporary,. Therefore, Taylor clawing her way out of muddy woods, getting chased by wolves, trapped in the snow in a flimsy dress with more wolves, etc... is the most figurative explanation of this story. The last words of the video: "She lost everything, but she found herself, and somehow that was everything" really drive this point home. It's all about the journey. A relationship, which may be terrible, can yield something positive. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
GRADE B

Gladiators in Dirty White Hats

"We're all bad people. That's the only thing we have in common."

-Bonnie (How to Get Away with Murder)

      I borrowed this quote from last night's HTGAM, but it very accurately relates to fellow Shondaland lead-in, Scandal. In tonight's episode, The Fish Rots From the Head, the distinct lack of conscience among the cast becomes blatantly obvious. Scandal has spent a long time diving into government conspiracies, election rigging, campaigns, secret spy organizations, and the inner workings of the White House. But this week, Olivia (Kerry Washington) and OP Associates have gone back to a good old fashioned fixing. It's a crime scene cover-up. At first glace, it looks like a prostitute OD's on drugs at a swanky hotel party with the secret service. On second, thought it could be murder, or at least manslaughter. What will the team do? 

     At this point, one must begin to wonder, does anyone on the show have a shred of morals, or do they all live in a gray area. First of all, President Fitzgerald Grant (Tony Goldwyn) is spiraling after his breakup with Olivia. He cares little about policy and spends his time bedding any journalist he can get his secret service to bring up to his residence. The secret service, meanwhile, is having parties with hookers. No big deal, right? At the heart of this conflict is Abby. Poor Abby wanted to be the press secretary, but she didn't know her job would include NDAs and phone holding for the president's floozies. Now she has now become the moral center of the show, but perhaps just until this week's episode is over.

     Olivia can't be bothered with the cases because she's still spiraling from the breakup with the president and her secret abortion, and her recent secret trysts with Scott Foley's Capt. Jake Ballard. Important to note here, Jake killed a bunch of people to get the President to name him the head of the NSA. Olivia is very bothered by this for obvious reasons and stalks jake when they're not having secret boots calls. After all, Jake is the same guy a few years back who was using all sort of spying equipment on Olivia before they fell for each other. Now he is the top government spy! Who can change this situation? Abby snaps Olivia back to reality during a Jake stakeout. Finally the OPA group figures out the real story  about the secret service and they seem to be a hair more moral than before (it's been a while since Huck killed anyone).) Olivia plans to bring the secret service to justice by going to speak to Fitz about his and their behavior and the bad culture he has set up for the ss. Then, just to make things even more odd, Olivia invites herself over to her father's house to see Jake, only to meet Jake's brand new fiancee, who he has only been out with 9 times.

     Senator Mellie Grant (aka Lady MacBeth in Louboutins, Bellamy Young) takes her son (Teddy, a.k.a. America's baby) to visit  his daddy in the hopes of getting his support for her campaign to be the Republican party front runner in the presidential primary. She breezes in with kisses, hugs and mushy family stuff (clearly not your typical Mellie) ans after spying one of the journalists in a robe, hugs Fitz and tells him to keep his whores away from the children, then delightfully escorts little Teddy out of the residency.  For those of us that's can't think of anything weirder than Mellie and Olivia getting along, they're actually becoming friends. Yes, they drink wine and lament about their past experiences (but  they never mention their vote rigging scandal that first got Fitz elected).

     On the other side, VP Susan Ross (Artemis Pebdani) does not want the President's approval because she knows he is complete scum. Susan's boyfriend, Attorney general David Rosen (Josh Malina) tries to convince her to get the approval anyway. He only is doing this because his secret other girlfriend Elizabeth North (Portia de Rossi) happens to be running Susan's campaign and she's another particular type of shrew. Speaking of shrews, how could we leave out Cyrus Beene? He is the true Macbeth of this show,with no scruples as far back as the election fixing scandal. He has killed (even if its not with his hands) many people, all int eh name of protecting America and Fitz. He has been cast out several times by Fitz, and despite being chief of staff, his power hunger has him looking for the next great candidate after being turned down by Mellie and Susan to run their campaigns.  He recently sent a shooter to the Pennsylvania state capitol so the governor (Francisco Vargas, played by Ricardo Chavras) could come out a hero. this week, Cyrus got the governor to run (even though the poor man has a child battling cancer) by telling a story about his fake disabled brother. Remember, Cyrus is the guy who was caught with a male gay prostitute and married him to keep up appearances.

     In summation, the fish rotted from Fitz's poor actions. But really, this fish was split open the moment Olivia, Mellie, Cyrus and other came in to fix Fitz's first election. All of the scandals are built on a central lie. Then there's the whole secret government group B-613 issue, which has caused a lot of drama (Mama Pope!). Scandal breeds scandal, and everyone  has added their own misdeeds to the fire, and it's going to combust.  #'Merica

New Girls Turns 100!

     Thank the baby cheeses that Jess (Zooey Deschanel) is back to New Girl this week. It's been a long-suffering number of weeks while she was on maternity leave from the show. In the meantime, we were left with Megan Fox playing a new, moody, and temporary roommate Reagan staying in Jess's room. Not a moment too soon, Jess's jury duty has ended for this 100th episode. Jess was part of a sequestered jury. Jess's ex, Nick, likes Reagan and came close to making a real connection with her. I apologize if you like Meagan Fox, but I really have a low tolerance for her. She always looks distressed in some way. This character was only staying in the loft for a month. Nick now has to say goodbye to her and find his "Goosebumps Walkaway", a movie-ending scene stealing quote that is not "Bad Bye."

     Now that Jess is back (and good news, she found the defendant guilty on all four counts and made-up T-shirts proclaiming so), she wants to find a cute juror that she only knows by his jury number (Juror 237B). Reagan agrees to help him, and they begin an adventure that involved Winston pulling police records to learn his name is Gary. Nick is very uncomfortable and full of anxiety that his ex and his new crush  have a) lived in the same room and b) are becoming friendly. Reagan is very uncomfortable with Jess's "Jess-ness," but she admits to having feelings for Schmidt. With Jess's encouragement and valuable,e advice about Nick, Reagan finds her own way to tell Nick she will miss him, and they leave things unresolved by friendly. Jess finds Gary when they both get interviewed by the news about the case. Despite the dark lighting and voice alterations to protect the members of the jury, they share all their personal information to arrange a meetup. At the meeting, they find they have nothing in common, it was all the anticipation of the case.

     Meanwhile, Winston brings Cece and Schmidt to a "dance gathering", where they hope to practice their first dance moves for their wedding. Schmidt admits to being bullied into always learning a dance correctly from an embarrassing childhood talent show. The episode ends with the gang (Jess, Nick, Cece, Schmidt and Winston all purposely free-styling dance moves for "The Hustle." Ah, things finally seem right with the world again.

Fashion: Get Thee to a Seamstress

     I love clothes. I am guilty of lunchtime online daydreaming,  an occasional impulse online order, and of course the well timed "stalk it until it goes on sale" victory shop. This method recently led to a kick-ass deal, an EXPRESS hi-lo hem maxi dress for an upcoming wedding, originally $99.00 and on sale for the low cost of $35.00. I was able to get the dress tailored for a tighter halter neck and raised the hi-lo hem off the floor for the low price of $10.00 for a customized fit! I cannot stress the importance of a good tailoring to a piece of clothing. Two of my most frustrating shopping issues are finding the right fit, and knowing when to hold on to something I love to make it fit better.

A dress with perfectly tailored shoulders.

Double Dips  - Do You Need Two?
     Have you bought two identical pairs of jeans because the first pair was so good and you wanted to keep the "I've got it going on" feeling going? Then you find out they don't fit the same way as that magical first pair and you're devastated? I really hate that! I thought I had finally gotten hip to the idea that if I like something, I should buy two of it.  This has led to double pairs of jeans, polyester dresses, sweaters, teardrop earrings, Pashminas, boat shoes, satin evening shoes (in black, tan and silver), and flip flops. I have not regretted any of these 2nd pairs yet! Back to the jeans issue, I'm not sure why the fit is different for the same size and dye color of items, except they might have been manufactured by a different plant, which is so unfortunate. When in doubt, return the second pair and keep trying then until you get that magic back again, or ask a tailor's opinion if it can be fixed. I still recommend getting something you like in multiple colors (summer shorts can be nice in peach and green or grey khaki).

Dresses and Whole Body Fit
   Also another fashion disaster is the dress that fits perfect on top, but balloons out to make you look ten pounds heavier in the hips. Do not buy this dress! As a petite woman, the bane of my existence and the reason I found an expert seamstress is because tops and dresses that don't fit my shoulders. Who are these frocks being made for, lumberjack women? I have pretty slender shoulders and what I think to be average arms, but I have had multiple jacket arms taken up so I don't look like a three year old playing dress up in my mom's clothes. In another interesting turn, a recent SELF article profiled a woman that tried on the same dress in multiple sizes and she found that some timing going up one size from your "normal" size in a store can solve a host of issues, from tummy area puckering (not classy) to baggy butt areas, which some of my older pairs of work pants seem to fall guilty of this faux pas since I lost weight last year.

Does it Fit?
    My best advice when it comes to fit is that if you really like something in a store and you think a tuck in the spaghetti straps will make it stop falling off you shoulders, go for it. I bought a final sale dress from Loft recently for under $15.00 and took it to my seamstress for tightening in the shoulders and raising the mid-calf hemline, and I couldn't be happier.  The same thing goes for existing pieces. I have saves several dresses and skirts by getting the wait nipped in for a better fit and it feels great to be able to have full use of my hands when I wear a blazer!

Thoughts on the 2016 Oscars

   

OSCAR- The Grouch

     The Host/The Scene:
I don't need to say too much about last night's Oscars ceremony because host Chris Rock really left it all up on the stage.  He said a lot about race, politics, and many other controversial issues. We get it, there was a lack of diversity (read: too much "whiteness") in the nominee section this year. It's been said. Let's move on. Did we need a special black history month presentation from Angela Bassett (ironically at the very end of that month) about the work of comedian Jack Black (you thought it was going to be a tribute to the noticeably absent Will Smith, right?) Probably not. Was it amusing? Sure. Also what was Stacy Dash doing there celebrating black history month, after publicly denouncing the event weeks earlier? All in jest, I guess. Also amusing were the appearances of the movies' real life heroes Joy Mangano and Michael Rezendes, and the fake appearance of real-life Straight Outta Compton star,  Suge Knight,  who is currently serving prison time.

Wins and Losses:
     Leonardo DiCaprio finally got an award for best actor for his role in The Revenant (Like Castaway with a bear instead of a volleyball). Congrats to Leo for carrying the story and finally being King of the World, but this movie leaves me very uninterested. I think it's still going to be a pass.  Also a justly deserved win to the one woman show, Room and Best Actress Brie Larsen. She also carried her film as a mother of a young boy trapped in captivity with her son, who has a child by her captor.  For supporting roles, Alicia Vikander was Best Supporting actress for The Dutch Girl, and a total surprise was Best Supporting actor  Mark Ryland for Bridge of Spies. Miss Vikander also exposed a surprise. She was seen kissing, and is apparently is apparently dating Michael Fassbender, who received a smooch from Vikander before she accepted her award.  The most upset-wotrhy event of the night (in my opinion) were all of the technical wins for Mad Max: Fury Road.  Another shocker only three of the songs for best original song were performed. I was told that the other songs were from lesser known movies and short films, so I guess they went with the big numbers and acts (Lady Gaga, The Weekend, and Winner Sam Smith). Also a winner on Sunday was Oprah, who wasn't even there but got a though out on twitter after someone mistakenly tagged a picture of Whoppi Goldberg as the legendary miss o.

     The biggest win of the night was Matt Damon, who lost at the Oscars, but snuck onto the stage of Jimmy Kimmel's after Oscars Special, riding shotgun in Ben Affleck's sweater. Damon is famously bumped for time at the end of each Kimmel episode, and has notable appearances including a show a takeover where he tied Jimmy to a chair and hosted the show.

Fashion: My Loves
Priyanka Chopra - white dress from Zuhair Murad
Margot Robbie - gold dress from Tom Ford 
Jennifer Garner - black dress from Atelier Versace
Alicia Vikander - yellow dress from Louis Vuitton
Brie Larsen - blue dress from Gucci 
Rachel McAdams - green dress from August Getty Atelier
Charlize Theron - red dress from Dior
Tina Fey              -purple dress from ????
I also liked Reese Witherspoon's similar purple dress from Oscar de La Renta, but Tina was just working hers a little better. I think it had a bit more of a form-fitting shape.