Holiday Movies

How many toiletry kits does one man need?

-- Sinbad (Jingle All the Way)

Merry Christmas! It's holiday movie season. Here's a rundown of what I've seen so far on tv this season and my opinions as an adult re-watching these beloved holiday classics (and some random Lifetime Movies).

Jingle All the Way

     My mom claims she's never seen this movie before, but I am pretty sure she took me to see if when it came out in the mid 1990's. This is the story of a dad (Arnold Schwarzenegger) that's too busy to care about his family until he has to get the season's hottest toy for his son (Jake Lloyd, little Darth Vader in the early Star Wars movies). He ends up fighting Sinbad (playing a mailman) and a variety of others (elves and a cast of characters including Sabrina's Principal Kraft Martin Mull as a Radio DJ and Phil Hartman as a neighbor who is too friendly with Arnold's wife).

Notes: Bad parenting! What kind of company has a party for the employees right before Christmas and doesn't invite spouses? My favorite part is Arnold chanting the names of the reindeer in the street. 

Amusing Buzzfeed post

Home Alone/ Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
     Little Kevin McAllister (Macauley Culkin) gets left at home by his extended family in a Chicago suburb at Christmas.  Nobody can get back to  him and he fends off two robbers (Joe Pesci and Daniel  Stern) using a TalkBoy recorder and some old movies. Then, he boards the wrong plane the next year and checks into the Plaza like Eloise. 

Notes: 
    This kid is a genius! Things like this could only happen in a post TSA-crazed world. Child protective services would definitely have this family on watch after the first incident. My favorite moment is when Kevin's mom (Catherine O'Hara) hitches a ride from Miami to Chicago with a polka band led by John Candy. I'm also left wondering how a family with so many kids can afford this beautiful house. Furthermore, check out the hotel staff in HA2: (Tim Curry, Rob Schneider, Dana Ivey) for some laughs and mischief.



The Santa Clause/SC2/SC3
     Tim Allen plays a divorced dad (Scott Calvin) trying to give his son a better Christmas than his mom and new stepdad, played by a cocky Judge Reinhold. Please note, this is the first movie I saw JR in, as a child, before going  back to enjoy his glorious 80's roles. Surprise, Santa falls off their roof and as soon as Scott puts on the suit,e he delivers presents all over the world. Wait, he just became Santa and she has the same initials? Yes. As the next year progresses, the toy salesman starts to transform into Santa, much to the horror of his friends and delight of his young son.

Notes: I love a young David Krumholtz (N3mbers, 10 Things I Hate About You)  as the wise old Bernard the Elf. I really enjoy the first Santa Claus movie and the second one was almost tolerable too, but by the third one, I was begging to be set free.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

     Chevy Chase does some of his finest comedy as Loveable dad Clark W. Griswold in this holiday hell tale. The Griswolds host their parents, in-laws, great aunts and uncles and crazy Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) and his family, only to discover there are no Christmas bonuses to cover the down payment on their new pool.

I own this shirt!

Notes: 
In this version of National Lampoon, Clark's teen kids Rusty and Audrey are played by Big Bang Theory's Johnny Galecki and this year's tv chameleon (Wayward Pones and Secrets and Lies), Juliette Lewis. I also realized this year that Clark's Grinchy boss is played by Bill Murray's brother, Brian Doyle-Murray, and I kept seeing good ol' Bill Murray mannerism throughout the scene. Favorite moment: Aunt Bethany reciting the pledge of allegiance as a way of saying Grace before the overcooked turkey dinner and Beverly D'Angel as Clark's Wife Ellen informing the swat team this was their first hostage situation and they were not sure how to do it right.

The Christmas Gift (2015)
This new Lifetime movie was allegedly based on a real story. It focused on reporter Megan (Michelle Tractenberg), who was a poor orphan living with her aunt. Megan received a gift when she is about 10 from Wesley, a rich child who wanted to being joy to unfortunate children. Fast forward about 20 years and Megan is a newly dumped reporter trying to land a big story, and she comes across the notebook she received from Wesley. She tracks him down and he is still a good Samaritan, running a home for orphan kids. She introduces herself to write a story about the center, leaving out her connection to Wesley. As luck would have it, Wesley's dad is purchasing Megan's aunt; nursing home to build new condos.

Notes: This movie went on for a long time. There were a lot of scenes that could be cut out to move the story along. Of course, it comes down to Megan's integrity and her need to find happiness. Also a facet of the Lifetime genre, everyone gets a happy ending. I might have liked this more with a different actress and Michelle Tractenberg can be pretty flat in her line delivery. Also, Megan doesn't seem to care very much about her aunt (who raised her as an orphan), so I'm not sure why is she so upset (not very emotional at that, she just says she is upset a lot) that she's going to have to look for a new nursing home? Maybe she could stay for dinner when she goes to visit her aunt or something nice like that?


Love Under the Christmas Table
This movie was available on Hulu plus so it saved a trip to the Redbox. That being said, it has a lot of potential to be an enjoyable romp. I am a huge fan of Danica McKellar from The Wonder Years, and her dad id played by Scott Patterson (Luke from Gilmore Girls) and his love interest is Lea Thompson (Back to the future). But the main story is about Danica's Kat meeting her dad's friend's son each year at a lame Christmas party from about age 5 to 30. Sam stays in town to deign furniture with their dads' business and Sam leaves to become a successful reporter.  Both Kat and Sam have an inability to realize they love each other until he builds a cardboard version of their future house and proposes, under the table their dads first built for the kids to eat at during Christmas dinner.

Notes: I was sick when I watched this movie so I wasn't too picky, but it became brutal after a few scenes of Christmas over and over again. It was a mercy killing. At least two couples found love at the end as Sam finally accepted her mom's death from her childhood and proposed on behalf of her dad to his best galpal.

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The Coat of Many Colors

  I wasn't sure what to think of Dolly Parton's NBC movie, The Coat of Many Colors. The song is not my favorite one (I love 9 to 5 and Islands in the Stream) I also sat through their recent production of The Wiz and was a lot more interested than I was in some of their other live musicals, so I kept an open mind. I was pleasant delighted by the tale of a strong Southern family who rely on each other  and their values to get through hard times (drought, infant mortality, a bully family).

Courtesy of NBC

    Little Dolly was played by the delightful Alyvia Alyn Lind, who sticks to her principles when people make fun of her coat of little rags. Country singing darling Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland was truly delightful and honest as Dolly's mother Avie Lee, vocalizing with her children and teaching them how to love their neighbor and themselves. Her counterpart is the NYPD's finest, Ricky Schroeder, whose Robert Lee Parton could not find the faith to join his family in church until he thought about the afterlife and the possibility of being alone after his family moved on. It's worth a watch on demand if you haven't seen it yet, and it's based on a true story. 

CW Gets Golden Globes

It's finally happened, the CW has managed to get it's programming into legitimate award categories! I'm so excited my Monday night jams Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Jane the Virgin scored nominations for the Golden Globes! Both Gina Rodriguez (Jane) and Rachel Bloom (Crazy Rebecca) are nominated for best actress in a tv comedy or musical!

Fresh Off the Boat

     It took me a hit-and-miss watching of the first season, but I now officially am a fan of ABC's Fresh Off the Boat. Season 1 began in February and a full season 2 kicked off in September. The family sitcom is based off Eddie Huang memoir of the same name, about growing up in Orlando in the 1990's with traditional Chinese parents. Eddie is a middle schooler who loves gangsta rap and his mom's best friend, Honey. Eddie's two adorable younger brothers Emery and Evan are very wise, young souls and give sage advice beyond their years. Mom Jessica (Constance Wu) is cheap, wants the kids to work hard, and ends up making people's lives more difficult. Completing the family are grandma Huang, who only speaks Mandarin and doesn't get along well with mom, and father Louis (Randall Park), a true believer of the American Dream.

     The family moved to Orlando from a tight-knit Chinese community in Washington, D.C. for Louis to open an all-American steakhouse, Cattleman's Ranch. His oddball staff mean well, but often get the family into more financial woes during the first season. The restaurant faces many struggles as they try to draw anyone in, and get them to order something besides water and soda. As a special not, The League's Paul Scheer plays waiter Mitch. The show's 90's nostalgia is one of the reason I think I connect to it. When Eddie's school throws a Fall Ball, his dad insists on teaching him and his boys to how dance. The boys think they're taking a girl to the dance, only to find out the girls had chosen someone else in the group as their date (which led to a tense roller rink group date). When Eddie is broken up with said girlfriend, he plays BoyzIIMen's End of the Road on repeat until the whole family sings the song. Jessica competes with her sister for who mom loves more, including a mad run to a store on Thanksgiving eve.

     The show has also had notable guest appearances by NBA players and singers of the time including  Scotty Pippen, DMX and Shaq as the proprietor of Shaquille O'Neal Motors. Jessica keeps demanding to speak to the top executive at the car dealership, finally begin shown into the office of Shaq himself. In tonight's episode, The Real Santa, Jessica tells the boys that Asian Santa is the real Santa and ends up dressing up in a suit to encourage her sons to study hard and get into good schools. I can't wait to see what 2016 has in store. Maybe an episode about Chinese New Year?