How many toiletry kits does one man need?
-- Sinbad (Jingle All the Way)
Merry Christmas! It's holiday movie season. Here's a rundown of what I've seen so far on tv this season and my opinions as an adult re-watching these beloved holiday classics (and some random Lifetime Movies).
Jingle All the Way
My mom claims she's never seen this movie before, but I am pretty sure she took me to see if when it came out in the mid 1990's. This is the story of a dad (Arnold Schwarzenegger) that's too busy to care about his family until he has to get the season's hottest toy for his son (Jake Lloyd, little Darth Vader in the early Star Wars movies). He ends up fighting Sinbad (playing a mailman) and a variety of others (elves and a cast of characters including Sabrina's Principal Kraft Martin Mull as a Radio DJ and Phil Hartman as a neighbor who is too friendly with Arnold's wife).
Notes: Bad parenting! What kind of company has a party for the employees right before Christmas and doesn't invite spouses? My favorite part is Arnold chanting the names of the reindeer in the street.
Notes: Bad parenting! What kind of company has a party for the employees right before Christmas and doesn't invite spouses? My favorite part is Arnold chanting the names of the reindeer in the street.
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| Amusing Buzzfeed post |
Home Alone/ Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Little Kevin McAllister (Macauley Culkin) gets left at home by his extended family in a Chicago suburb at Christmas. Nobody can get back to him and he fends off two robbers (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) using a TalkBoy recorder and some old movies. Then, he boards the wrong plane the next year and checks into the Plaza like Eloise.
Little Kevin McAllister (Macauley Culkin) gets left at home by his extended family in a Chicago suburb at Christmas. Nobody can get back to him and he fends off two robbers (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) using a TalkBoy recorder and some old movies. Then, he boards the wrong plane the next year and checks into the Plaza like Eloise.
Notes:
This kid is a genius! Things like this could only happen in a post TSA-crazed world. Child protective services would definitely have this family on watch after the first incident. My favorite moment is when Kevin's mom (Catherine O'Hara) hitches a ride from Miami to Chicago with a polka band led by John Candy. I'm also left wondering how a family with so many kids can afford this beautiful house. Furthermore, check out the hotel staff in HA2: (Tim Curry, Rob Schneider, Dana Ivey) for some laughs and mischief.
The Santa Clause/SC2/SC3
Tim Allen plays a divorced dad (Scott Calvin) trying to give his son a better Christmas than his mom and new stepdad, played by a cocky Judge Reinhold. Please note, this is the first movie I saw JR in, as a child, before going back to enjoy his glorious 80's roles. Surprise, Santa falls off their roof and as soon as Scott puts on the suit,e he delivers presents all over the world. Wait, he just became Santa and she has the same initials? Yes. As the next year progresses, the toy salesman starts to transform into Santa, much to the horror of his friends and delight of his young son.
Notes: I love a young David Krumholtz (N3mbers, 10 Things I Hate About You) as the wise old Bernard the Elf. I really enjoy the first Santa Claus movie and the second one was almost tolerable too, but by the third one, I was begging to be set free.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Chevy Chase does some of his finest comedy as Loveable dad Clark W. Griswold in this holiday hell tale. The Griswolds host their parents, in-laws, great aunts and uncles and crazy Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) and his family, only to discover there are no Christmas bonuses to cover the down payment on their new pool.
Notes:
In this version of National Lampoon, Clark's teen kids Rusty and Audrey are played by Big Bang Theory's Johnny Galecki and this year's tv chameleon (Wayward Pones and Secrets and Lies), Juliette Lewis. I also realized this year that Clark's Grinchy boss is played by Bill Murray's brother, Brian Doyle-Murray, and I kept seeing good ol' Bill Murray mannerism throughout the scene. Favorite moment: Aunt Bethany reciting the pledge of allegiance as a way of saying Grace before the overcooked turkey dinner and Beverly D'Angel as Clark's Wife Ellen informing the swat team this was their first hostage situation and they were not sure how to do it right.
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| I own this shirt! |
Notes:
In this version of National Lampoon, Clark's teen kids Rusty and Audrey are played by Big Bang Theory's Johnny Galecki and this year's tv chameleon (Wayward Pones and Secrets and Lies), Juliette Lewis. I also realized this year that Clark's Grinchy boss is played by Bill Murray's brother, Brian Doyle-Murray, and I kept seeing good ol' Bill Murray mannerism throughout the scene. Favorite moment: Aunt Bethany reciting the pledge of allegiance as a way of saying Grace before the overcooked turkey dinner and Beverly D'Angel as Clark's Wife Ellen informing the swat team this was their first hostage situation and they were not sure how to do it right.
The Christmas Gift (2015)
This new Lifetime movie was allegedly based on a real story. It focused on reporter Megan (Michelle Tractenberg), who was a poor orphan living with her aunt. Megan received a gift when she is about 10 from Wesley, a rich child who wanted to being joy to unfortunate children. Fast forward about 20 years and Megan is a newly dumped reporter trying to land a big story, and she comes across the notebook she received from Wesley. She tracks him down and he is still a good Samaritan, running a home for orphan kids. She introduces herself to write a story about the center, leaving out her connection to Wesley. As luck would have it, Wesley's dad is purchasing Megan's aunt; nursing home to build new condos.
Notes: This movie went on for a long time. There were a lot of scenes that could be cut out to move the story along. Of course, it comes down to Megan's integrity and her need to find happiness. Also a facet of the Lifetime genre, everyone gets a happy ending. I might have liked this more with a different actress and Michelle Tractenberg can be pretty flat in her line delivery. Also, Megan doesn't seem to care very much about her aunt (who raised her as an orphan), so I'm not sure why is she so upset (not very emotional at that, she just says she is upset a lot) that she's going to have to look for a new nursing home? Maybe she could stay for dinner when she goes to visit her aunt or something nice like that?
Love Under the Christmas Table
This movie was available on Hulu plus so it saved a trip to the Redbox. That being said, it has a lot of potential to be an enjoyable romp. I am a huge fan of Danica McKellar from The Wonder Years, and her dad id played by Scott Patterson (Luke from Gilmore Girls) and his love interest is Lea Thompson (Back to the future). But the main story is about Danica's Kat meeting her dad's friend's son each year at a lame Christmas party from about age 5 to 30. Sam stays in town to deign furniture with their dads' business and Sam leaves to become a successful reporter. Both Kat and Sam have an inability to realize they love each other until he builds a cardboard version of their future house and proposes, under the table their dads first built for the kids to eat at during Christmas dinner.
Notes: I was sick when I watched this movie so I wasn't too picky, but it became brutal after a few scenes of Christmas over and over again. It was a mercy killing. At least two couples found love at the end as Sam finally accepted her mom's death from her childhood and proposed on behalf of her dad to his best galpal.
This new Lifetime movie was allegedly based on a real story. It focused on reporter Megan (Michelle Tractenberg), who was a poor orphan living with her aunt. Megan received a gift when she is about 10 from Wesley, a rich child who wanted to being joy to unfortunate children. Fast forward about 20 years and Megan is a newly dumped reporter trying to land a big story, and she comes across the notebook she received from Wesley. She tracks him down and he is still a good Samaritan, running a home for orphan kids. She introduces herself to write a story about the center, leaving out her connection to Wesley. As luck would have it, Wesley's dad is purchasing Megan's aunt; nursing home to build new condos.
Notes: This movie went on for a long time. There were a lot of scenes that could be cut out to move the story along. Of course, it comes down to Megan's integrity and her need to find happiness. Also a facet of the Lifetime genre, everyone gets a happy ending. I might have liked this more with a different actress and Michelle Tractenberg can be pretty flat in her line delivery. Also, Megan doesn't seem to care very much about her aunt (who raised her as an orphan), so I'm not sure why is she so upset (not very emotional at that, she just says she is upset a lot) that she's going to have to look for a new nursing home? Maybe she could stay for dinner when she goes to visit her aunt or something nice like that?
Love Under the Christmas Table
This movie was available on Hulu plus so it saved a trip to the Redbox. That being said, it has a lot of potential to be an enjoyable romp. I am a huge fan of Danica McKellar from The Wonder Years, and her dad id played by Scott Patterson (Luke from Gilmore Girls) and his love interest is Lea Thompson (Back to the future). But the main story is about Danica's Kat meeting her dad's friend's son each year at a lame Christmas party from about age 5 to 30. Sam stays in town to deign furniture with their dads' business and Sam leaves to become a successful reporter. Both Kat and Sam have an inability to realize they love each other until he builds a cardboard version of their future house and proposes, under the table their dads first built for the kids to eat at during Christmas dinner.
Notes: I was sick when I watched this movie so I wasn't too picky, but it became brutal after a few scenes of Christmas over and over again. It was a mercy killing. At least two couples found love at the end as Sam finally accepted her mom's death from her childhood and proposed on behalf of her dad to his best galpal.
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