Ye-Ye-Yeezy

 

It's Friday the 13th and I'm flashing back to spring break 2008, which is the last time I actually respected Kanye West. 

This was back when you would turn on the radio and hear Kanye on the radio with hits like "Heartless" and "Stronger." Although the number one song on this chilly trip to Amherst, MA was T.I. and Ri-Ri's "Live your Life,"  can you ever get this gem of a lyric out of your head?

Work it, make it, do it

Makes us (VOCORDER) harder, better, faster, stronger.

So, when I saw this headline today, I scratched my head... Kanye West Secret Wedding with Mystery Woman! 

We'll return to 2007's Stronger, I think that's where things began to go off course. In the song, Kanye says he's been on ya since "OJ had Isotoners," and we all know how poppa Robert Kardashian tried to defend OJ in the legendary 1994 case, The People vs. OJ Simpson If Kanye had never been Keeping Up with the Kardashians, where would be be now?

What would have happened to the Kanye timeline if he hadn't pursued Kim?

I honestly think the guy's mental health might have been better off.  I'm still not seeing how he and Kim were able to get along with each other so well in the first place. I think it has to be partly due to their egos; they did get married at the Palace of Versailles and name their first child after two cardinal directions. Maybe he wouldn't have run for president. Maybe someone in gen Z can also make sense of the Yeezy clothing line? I've never been so upset to look at a GAP ad. The $100+ price point for sweatshirts and ugly puffer coats just baffles me.

Maybe it's artistic genius.... or madness. Now the recently divorced rapper has married a woman (and Yeezy designer) who looks JUST like his ex-wife. Is it 2007 again? Are we ready for more weirdness? Only time will tell.

I E-mailed Ryan Reynolds, and This is His Response

     Earlier this week, Ryan Reynolds appeared on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon to promote Deadpool 2's DVD release, and his new baby, a gin company. Reynolds is one of the owners of Aviation Gin, which sounds like the coolest liquor name I've heard of since college. I urge you to visit their website and sigh of over the background photo of Reynolds tipping back a glass of gin.

During the interview and hard-to-stomach game of Drinko, Fallon mentioned hearing that Reynolds's business associates have told him to tone down bis auto-reply E-mail message. Then Reynolds mentioned his e-mail on the broadcast, and I wrote it down (about two days later when I watched the episode), and dropped him a note. The below screenshot is from Reynolds's e-mail auto replay and includes his typical dry humor. This high level of communication basically means I'm being invited over for a gin sampling with Ryan and his wife Blake any day now... thus begins my 15 minutes of fame!

The Pianoman: Too Old to Be a Dad

Sara (No H)! EWWW

    The 'Pianoman' Billy Joel is 68 years old. I admit, he's a great singer and I would love to sing 'We Didn't Start the Fire' with him. But truthfully, he is getting up there in age. Billy and his 4th wife, Alexis, 35, announced they were having their second child about five days ago.
   
Today, baby Remy (a girl) was born to a man that could be her grandfather. Joel has two children already. Remy joins sisters Della (2) and Alexa (31). As a contemporary of Alexa, I'm taking a stand on this issue. I understand that when you're on to wife number 4, you just want to have kids. At a certain point, your previous children should be allowed take a stand and weigh in on their older parents from having more children. What quality of life is this kid going to have with a dad who is about 70? You can't be a full time caregiver for an infant, nor do you want to (although I'm sure they have a nanny).  Also for poor Alexa, each of her parents have been married 4 times; they met on a second marriage. Alexa's had 2 stepdads and 2 stepmoms. Aside from her two baby sisters and stepmom who is a few years older, Alexa has siblings Jack, 22, and Sailor, 19, from one of her mom Christie Brinkley's 4th marriage. This is a different situation because Alexa grew up with these two kids in the same house and they were closer in age.

In conclusion, If I were Alexa, I would be majorly creeped out if my parents had more children at this point in my life. I once went on a date with a guy that said he was pretty sure his parents weren't having another kid. He was well into his 20's and we did not have a second date. As Jimmy Fallon's Sara (No H! H's are gross) says, "EWW!"

Sham Marriage Ends: America Set Free Again

After 72 days of marriage, Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from Kris Humphries.  A word to the wise kids: never marry someone who has the same first name as your mom. Also, doubly never marry this person if the two spell their names the same way. It is guaranteed to get weird.

     To tell the truth, I really thought Kris (boy, not mom) would be the first one to pull the plug. But, maybe Kim woke up and realized that eventually the NBA lockout will end and Kris might actually have something to do with his life. In any case, this marriage lasted way longer than Britney Spears and Jason Alexander (2 days, and no not that guy from Seinfeld), but at least they woke up in Vegas and were able to correct (annul) their mistakes with a clean and hopefully sober mind.

A Note: NoEvil News July 25-August 8th

7. Gene Simmons Finally Proposes to Shannon!
It only took two grown kids, a house in the Hollywood Hills, his and hers facelifts, and a few seasons of reality TV cameras to bring this to fruition.

6. Ted Danson on CSI
The guy was great on Damages. But putting Danson on CSI is like when Mr. Big got put on Law and Order, only more desperate.

5. Shannen Doherty Gets Reality Wedding Show
Not that I don't enjoy celebrity weddings, but do we need to see every moment leading up to it? And of all the formerly A-listers of the 90s, I might prefer to see someone's first wedding, not their third. What's next, a spot behind Tori and Dean?

4. TNT renews Franklin and Bash
Can I get a light saber battle in the courtroom in celebration of season 2? Yes I can!

3. Kat Von D and Jesse James End Engagement
It's probably for the best, all those tattoos under one roof might have been toxic.

2. James Franco comes back to General Hospital
I don't care if he's a mysterious artist/murderer, I still love the guy.

1. Charlie Sheen's Character Having Funeral on "Two and a Half Men"
Is anyone surprised? Still weird that Ashton is gonna be their landlord.

A Note: I'm Blogging in Other Places, Too!

I'm proud to announce my first blog post on the Yahoo Contributor Network's OMG! celebrity news. My post is about Natalie Portman's new bundle of joy, Alef, and other Oscar winning moms that have picked unique names for their kids!

Here's the link.