Mariah Carey's NYE Performance was "Amazing" and Other Live Fails

     I'll be honest, I was occupied and missed Mariah Carey's now legendary train wreck of a performance on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve. I watched so many videos and news clips yesterday, I feel like I saw it live. Mariah has long been known for "Diva-ing" out during live events. First there was her 2001 appearance on TRL, stripping out of an oversize T-shirt. She lamented how this was her "therapy session." I also reminisced about a 2002 episode of MTV Cribs, where Mariah was just bizarre. Some of her antics are highlighted in this MTV article. I also remember vividly her wearing heels while working out a on a machine in her home gym. To put it lightly, she had a few breakdown a while back. She took some time off recover, married Nick Cannon, and had kids. Then she took over as a judge on American Idol. She continued to be a Diva there, often fighting on camera with fellow judge Nicki Minaj.

     Back to the present, Mariah's poor performance on the NYE countdown was the result of a complete lack of professionalism.  First of all, she was not dressed appropriately for a woman of her age. She is over 45 and does not need to wear a dude see-through bodysuit (same goes for you, Ms. Britney). It was obvious that there was a track for some of the songs. I understand that, fair enough. Mariah could have chosen to lip sync along to every song (since the venue was cold, dark and outdoors). But instead she picked and chose what she wanted to sing. When she couldn't keep up with the music, she just closed her mouth and tried to make conversation with the crowd. "(Emotions) went to #1...." It was also obvious that she was such a diva that she  didn't show up for rehearsal or sound check. The stage choreography was also pretty bad, as evidenced by the lazy dove-feather fans fans spinning around and the dancers wincing while trying to lasciviously hold her leg while she leaned back. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise, 2016 went out on a low point, which a lot  of people sympathized with via social media.

     Have no fear, Miss Mimi is not the first diva to flop on a live stage. She is not the first person to start making weird comments on New Year's Eve. That honor goes straight to co-host Jenny McCarthy, who seems drunk from the moment the broadcast goes on. This will certainly not be the last time.Here are 2 of my favorite worst live performances on live TV.

Meghan Trainor falls on The Tonight Show
     This summer, Ms. Trainor wiped out after finishing a choreography-challenging performance of her song, NO.  I was pretty worried during the song that she was attempting to dance in 5-inch heels. I almost thought my worry was for nothing.  She rolled her ankle when moving back to the microphone stand and dropped to the floor, spreading out like a snow angel. This overall wasn't too bad. MS. Trainor did make it through the song.

Ashlee Simpson lip syncs on SNL
     I was reminiscing with my friends a few weeks about about Ashlee's tragic debut on Saturday Night Live in 2004. It seems like just yesterday, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz-Ross had a famous sister, an MTV biopic show, Ryan Cabrera on her arm, and a lot of acid reflux. (I can relate to the girl, stomach acid can really mess you up.)So, a wise decision was made for Ms. Simpson to lip sync to her debut single Pieces of Me on the live show. What she didn't count on was the track malfunctioning the second it started. A back beat and her vocals began, and Ashlee immediately knew the show had to go on. What did she do? She began dancing a jig like a pirate. When the band finally caught up with the music, she waltzed offstage. That being said, my friends and I jumped into a circle and clapped our hands as Ashlee's LOVE rocked out at a wedding. Time can heal all wounds.

Britney Comes Back to TV, a JTV Special

     In Monday night's Jane the Virgin, the show had a special guest star, none other than Britney. I began this episode being super excited to see the Brit, but I was quickly let down and disappointed.

     Appearances like this  used to be a pretty big deal back in the day, but somehow it made me feel kind of sad. The show opened with Jane taking her baby to the Maribela hotel to stalk Britney, then they got together and did a creepy dreamed-up imaginary dance sequence to one of Britney's much weaker hits, Toxic.

     Something seemed off about Britney in a way I cannot explain, like she might have been forced to do this as a favor to someone, or it was a blackmail scenario? We're way past the days of "eave Britney alone", but I have to wonder, who is she? Could is just be weird for her to act in something that's not the Mickey Mouse Club? Having seen Crossroads (never the full movie, just bits and pieces), we know she is not he best at holding down a feature presentation.

     This led to a much weirder plot where Britney had been invited to Miami to perform at a highly important wedding ceremony. Who's wedding, you may ask? Crazy Petra is blackmailed into marrying a crazy explosives salesman, Miloche.

     The episode got  downright hilarious when Jane's telenovela star dad Rohelio De La Vega (always use his full name) admits to having a feud with Britney over a Latin Grammy Awards presentation. A very serious twitter feud with some "Mean Girls-esque" banter. I did at least laugh at Britney and her dancers began walking around the hotel in one large synchronized group. Is Brit really that desperate for exposure, or am I just not in the joke?

     My favorite Britney tv appearance is when she showed up on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, teaching Sabs some dance moves in Paris. It was also kinda a weird situation,  but it worked because she really seemed like herself, just a teen pop star dancing around with a fan, and not a glambot. Alas, it was during the Drive Me Crazy phase of 199, so maybe Britney was just more of an authentic gal back then.

Sham Marriage Ends: America Set Free Again

After 72 days of marriage, Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from Kris Humphries.  A word to the wise kids: never marry someone who has the same first name as your mom. Also, doubly never marry this person if the two spell their names the same way. It is guaranteed to get weird.

     To tell the truth, I really thought Kris (boy, not mom) would be the first one to pull the plug. But, maybe Kim woke up and realized that eventually the NBA lockout will end and Kris might actually have something to do with his life. In any case, this marriage lasted way longer than Britney Spears and Jason Alexander (2 days, and no not that guy from Seinfeld), but at least they woke up in Vegas and were able to correct (annul) their mistakes with a clean and hopefully sober mind.