Mariah Carey's NYE Performance was "Amazing" and Other Live Fails

     I'll be honest, I was occupied and missed Mariah Carey's now legendary train wreck of a performance on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve. I watched so many videos and news clips yesterday, I feel like I saw it live. Mariah has long been known for "Diva-ing" out during live events. First there was her 2001 appearance on TRL, stripping out of an oversize T-shirt. She lamented how this was her "therapy session." I also reminisced about a 2002 episode of MTV Cribs, where Mariah was just bizarre. Some of her antics are highlighted in this MTV article. I also remember vividly her wearing heels while working out a on a machine in her home gym. To put it lightly, she had a few breakdown a while back. She took some time off recover, married Nick Cannon, and had kids. Then she took over as a judge on American Idol. She continued to be a Diva there, often fighting on camera with fellow judge Nicki Minaj.

     Back to the present, Mariah's poor performance on the NYE countdown was the result of a complete lack of professionalism.  First of all, she was not dressed appropriately for a woman of her age. She is over 45 and does not need to wear a dude see-through bodysuit (same goes for you, Ms. Britney). It was obvious that there was a track for some of the songs. I understand that, fair enough. Mariah could have chosen to lip sync along to every song (since the venue was cold, dark and outdoors). But instead she picked and chose what she wanted to sing. When she couldn't keep up with the music, she just closed her mouth and tried to make conversation with the crowd. "(Emotions) went to #1...." It was also obvious that she was such a diva that she  didn't show up for rehearsal or sound check. The stage choreography was also pretty bad, as evidenced by the lazy dove-feather fans fans spinning around and the dancers wincing while trying to lasciviously hold her leg while she leaned back. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise, 2016 went out on a low point, which a lot  of people sympathized with via social media.

     Have no fear, Miss Mimi is not the first diva to flop on a live stage. She is not the first person to start making weird comments on New Year's Eve. That honor goes straight to co-host Jenny McCarthy, who seems drunk from the moment the broadcast goes on. This will certainly not be the last time.Here are 2 of my favorite worst live performances on live TV.

Meghan Trainor falls on The Tonight Show
     This summer, Ms. Trainor wiped out after finishing a choreography-challenging performance of her song, NO.  I was pretty worried during the song that she was attempting to dance in 5-inch heels. I almost thought my worry was for nothing.  She rolled her ankle when moving back to the microphone stand and dropped to the floor, spreading out like a snow angel. This overall wasn't too bad. MS. Trainor did make it through the song.

Ashlee Simpson lip syncs on SNL
     I was reminiscing with my friends a few weeks about about Ashlee's tragic debut on Saturday Night Live in 2004. It seems like just yesterday, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz-Ross had a famous sister, an MTV biopic show, Ryan Cabrera on her arm, and a lot of acid reflux. (I can relate to the girl, stomach acid can really mess you up.)So, a wise decision was made for Ms. Simpson to lip sync to her debut single Pieces of Me on the live show. What she didn't count on was the track malfunctioning the second it started. A back beat and her vocals began, and Ashlee immediately knew the show had to go on. What did she do? She began dancing a jig like a pirate. When the band finally caught up with the music, she waltzed offstage. That being said, my friends and I jumped into a circle and clapped our hands as Ashlee's LOVE rocked out at a wedding. Time can heal all wounds.

Feminist Thoughts About the Grammys

First of all, who suggested Pitbull close out the show with Taxi? Is this the American Music Awards or the club or something less honorable than music's biggest night? Second, do you think he uses the same group of dancers for every award show and dresses them as sexy cowboys, sexy taxis etc...? And what is Sofia Vergara doing there dancing in a taxi costume? In conclusion, this sound sounds like it heavily samples from Shaggy's Murder She Wrote and looks like the inspiration for my next big hit, Magic Mike 3: Taxi Time (trademark on the title pending, but I'm seeing big things from a marketing angle).

Has anyone thought about including a female host at the Grammys? And no, I'm not talking about Chrissy Teigen's "hosting" duties with LL on Lip Sync Battle (pouring drinks and passing out the winning belt).  I find LL Cool J to be like an episode of many of CBS's procedural dramas, completely likable, but not very memorable.

I never thought I would hate vampires... but the Hollywood Vampires performance made me rethink that. Alice Cooper is too old to be wearing blood and makeup, someone might think something is really wrong with him. This goes double for Joe Perry because these guys have all been on death's door at some point.  Furthermore, Johnny Depp looks like Captain Jack Sparrow playing a guitar. I cannot take him seriously.

I think Taylor Swift might have been wearing a bathing suit in her Grammy acceptance outfit, but her bob looked flawless. She had a lot of positive things to say and she won several awards despite Kanye West's negative onslaught thrown her way. Fortunately Mr. West was nowhere near the podium and could not jump out and interrupt her speech. Furthermore, she spoke about not letting the naysayers get to you, and I think  it showed in her show-opening performance, where she stood alone, sans dancers and squads, and sang about triumph. She literally came Out of the Woods. #SquadGoals

Meghan Trainor is trying to steal the looks of Adele and Florence Welch (Florence and the Machine). Also Ms. Adele was unfortunately flat (or so we thought) during parts of her performance. It turned out to be a mic that fell into the piano and distorted the sound. It just proves that even Adele can have a bit of a rough time. Start,s they are just like us.

Meghan Trainor, Adele and Florence Welch- triplets?

I realized I want to be Bonnie Raitt when I grow up. It's now official. First of all, she gets called Ms. Bonnie Raitt. Second of all, the plays a kick-ass guitar. Third, she looks amazing for 66 years young and rocks the white streak in her hair.  I love her motorcycle zip jacket, too! Plus, she gave a stirring blues tribute to the late Mr. B.B. King. 

To sum it up, she can make you bawl with I Can't Make You Love Me  and make you feel sassy with Something to Talk About, one of my favorite karaoke songs.

Lady Gaga treated us to a tribute (full video) to David Bowie, and in true Gaga fashion, it was a literal tribute. LG appeared in short, bright red hair, a ton of glam makeup, and a sequined jumpsuit. She fired off a list of hits including :
Major Tom
Let's Dance
Rebel, Rebel
Suffragette City
 (Ch ch ch) Changes and more....

Queen Bey, 2016

Destiny's Child, 2001

Beyonce appeared unscheduled ans almost out of the mist, like Prince, to give out the last award of the evening. Is Queen Bey too cool for us now with all of her Big Game performances to give a head's up she's coming to the grammys and giving out the biggest award? It seems like just yesterday (or about 15 years ago, but who's counting),  Queen B in an an Austin Powers movie and dominating the red carpet with Kelly Rowland and Michele Williams (and possibly LaTavia and LeToya but there's more to that story and their Grammy win), wearing clothes designed by her mom, Tina.