One Paragraph Movie Review: Crazy Rich Asians

Crazy Rich Asians is the movie America needs right now. with romantic comedies only popping up on Netflix these days, its nice to see a love story on the big screen. As an audience, we can put aside all of the fighting an unite against two legendary movie villains, the mother in law and the mean ex-girlfriend. Rachel Chu (Constance Wu) is a completely relatable heroine;  an educated, average woman who wants to make a good impression on her boyfriend's family. Here's where the crazy rich part comes in: Nick (Henry Golding) forgot to mention he is living in America to avoid having to take over his family business; and they are one of the richest families in Thailand. While Rachel fights mean girls and wins the heart of Nick's grandmother, she is supported by her college roommate Piglin (Awkwafina), and her kooky family. It's a enjoyable escape filled with fabulous destinations, beautiful clothes, and the message that money can't buy happiness.  Plus, there's a chase to the airport. What more can a girl ask for?

Crazy Rich Asians was adapted from the novel by the same name, written by Kevin Kwan. 

Sometimes It's a Grammar Fail Day: Part 2

     It's been two years to the day since I last wrote about widely published grammar fails. It's time for the 2018 edition of glaring grammar errors. As a professional proofreader, it's my sworn duty to call these errors out. Most of these are simple usage errors or some choice spellings that don't appear in any dictionary I have at home.     

7. Social Media Fail                                                                     

It's easy to make a grammar error when you're typing condolences in 120 characters or less, and my fellow BSB fans are not shy about pointing it out. In any case, confusing two versions of a word, morning vs. mourning is a pretty tame and forgivable grammar fail. It was best put by fan @GraceJoy1328 that in a time of loss, word usage errors are not too bad. 

6. Tentative Weather
Normally weather forecasts are given in ranges. Sometimes those ranges get a little vague. More than once this year, the range has just been 'a lot of snow.' 
Check out this drastic difference of snow totals in a warning from The Weather Channel in February. 
It could be 6 to 12 inches, expect in the spot that's going to get 10 to 15 inches. When we're talking about a half a foot's difference of snowfall, this is the difference between one snow day and not leaving your house for the weekend.  


5. Cable News Scroll Grammar Error
FOX News (a.k.a. America's News HQ) wasted no time getting the story out. In their hast, the screen card spelled out "Admists" instead of "admit." This is not really appropriate grammar for anyone. Someone tried to make the verb "admit" both active and plural, which would need to be 'admits,'. They also used a totally creative and "fake news" way of spelling, which is incorrect.



4. Store Sign

On a winter trip to my favorite miscellaneous shopping experience, Ocean State Job Lot, I noticed a sign with a choice spelling for 'hoodie.' When last I checked, hoodie is the singular spelling, and when it goes plural, it's hoodies. A simple Google before printing the store signage can save a lot of face. 

3. Doctor's Office Spelling 
When making an appointment for an allergy shot on my ENT's app, I did a double take. I kept trying to figure out who the 'eshtablished' patients here. There is one letter added to the word that makes no sense, and I keep wondering if 'eshtablished' patients are better than established ones. Maybe they get all of the early morning and late night slots before they will become available? In any case, I'll be booking by location tonight. 



2. Newsletter Nightmare
It's easy to confuse two similar words when you type as fast as I do. It's quite embarrassing to have a link to a nutritional article about dairy (with a cow pictured) and to find out this piece is about "diary??" Clearly, these two common words can be swapped easily, but they have nothing in common. 





1. Headline Homicide
I did a double take last week when I read this latest development in the fragile relationship of comedian Pete Davidson and singer Ariana Grande. Not only are the pair shockingly engaged after one month of dating, but then Pete died??? What a tragedy...
Here is another classic version of using the wrong word drastically changing the meaning of the sentence, for the worst. When someone DYES something, they add color to it, but when they DIE, they are not living (or playing an elaborate casino game). 

A Cinematic First Lady

     We're on the even of one of  America's most contested inaugurations and I can't help but think of the Kennedys. I went to see the film Jackie when it was in limited release last month, and truly got a feel for what it must be like to plan these events. In the movie, Oscar Winner Natalie Portman plays the beloved first lady interviewed for TIME magazine, struggling in the days, weeks and months after her husband's assassination.  She plans a funeral and procession through the Capitol district while comforting her young children in the public eye. Jackie picked out a grave site in  Arlington National Cemetery, battling her in-laws that insisted the president needed to be laid to rest in the family plot in Massachusetts. She seemed strong toward the outside world, meanwhile she crumbled in private, reliving her best outfits and listening to the soundtrack for the musical Camelot (a favorite of the late president).

     Portman's performance got inside the fragile first lady's suits. When she is asked to change into a fresh outfit in Dallas directly after John  is assassinated, she refuses. She insists she will keep her iconic bloodstained pink suit to show people what has been done to her husband. TIME interviewer Theodore H.White (Billy Crudup) gets guarded answers out of Mrs. Kennedy throughout their December 1963 interview, which can be found here. While Jackie relives the day of her husband's death, she herself becomes icon, one of America's most photographed first ladies, before and after her time in office. As White finished the interview, Jackie reminded him that Jack  was America's father. As a sobbed into the credits, White reminded Jackie that she was America's mother. Oscar Gold!

Tale of the Aging Actress

Gif Courtesy of BuzzFeed

     Early 2000's Rom-Com queen actress Kate Hudson is in a new movie, Deepwater Horizon. The 37-year-old actress is playing "the wife" of an oil rig worker in the Gulf of Mexico. Based on a true story, the rig exploded and spilled oil all over the gulf in 2010. Hudson plays Mark Walhberg's wife, and it means she is sitting around being worried, a la Helen Hunt in Cast Away or Kathleen Quinlan in Apollo 13. Does this mean now that she is under 40, Hudson can't hope for any more great and juicy roles? This is quite absurd. Comedienne (again a sexist term) Amy Schumer's "Last F**ckable Day" sketch explored and poked fun of the moment when a women has to begin wearing long sweaters and taking roles like "The mom." Schumer brilliantly remarks on this double standard as Tina Fey and Julia Louis-Dreyfus shipping Patricia Arquette (48) off on this journey.

     I also remote flipped to the Jennifer Garner-led movie Miracles from Heaven. It was sad, but at least it was a role for a woman in her 40's. Sadly, it was a bit contrived, as Garner played another trope, a mother of a terminally sick child fighting for medical care. This was also a true story.

     At the end of the day, how do we fix Hollywood? Who says that late 30's or late 40's is too late to have a rich, fleshed-out female character? How do we get more women on screen as more than a wife, a mom, a daughter, or bimbo? This is not an easy fix...

Sometimes It's A Grammar Fail Day...

     To be honest, I never want to be the person at a party mentally correcting the grammar of my friends. To be perfectly  honest, sometimes I can't stop myself. It's good to know my other fellow English major friends are still there for me! (Thanks!) It's not the everyday misuse of THEY'RE vs. THEIR or TWO and TOO that can get me, it's the plural possessives that keep me up at night. How many signs have to incorrectly refer to a group of co-workers as EMPLOYEES'?? HINT: I have seen more than one. Here are some of the grammar fails I've caught in the last few months. Let's get them off our chests and move on peacefully.


5. Supermarket Sunscreen Ad

(C) PipPepPop

I know these little ads have a premium on their space. I cannot understand why someone would use their full space and still not use the correct word on there.

For the record, I always SCREEN the sun away from my body.





4. Cleaning Reminder at My Office

(c) PipPepPop

     My personal favorite reminder from work is a photo of Alice from The Brady Bunch with an accompanying quote:
"Now we're all got to keep this place tidy, ya hear?"

     This was since replaced with a new reminder, typed up a few months ago in an extreme haste. First of all, the last line switches from lowercase to all caps during the sentence. Why not make it all caps to really send the message home?

     Secondly, there are two apostrophes listed in the word don't. Are we that concerned? Does this mean we DO NOT NOT with added emphasis?

     In conclusion, we are not supposed to put food in the drian. At first, I thought this was some new hip slang the teens were using. It is not. They simply mis-typed the word DRAIN.




3. Movie Ad

(c) PipPepPop

      If your movie has a long title, I expect it might be shortened on billboards and other promotional materials. this is exactly why the Twitter hashtag was invented. The part about this that mystifies me is that the movie is called GOOSEBUMPS, and they took one letter out of the title to shorten it to GOOSEBUMS, which sounds like a long-lost John Belushi movie from the 1970's.



2. Fancy Engagement Ring Ad Copy

     The copy for this engagement ring collection and fancy jewelry store is missing something. The KWIAT jewler calls out the "Lorem Ipsum Dolor Et AlCollection". That's not an actual collection. Yes, the typeset and wording are just some Latin mumbo jumbo and it's not even separated for the word collection. According to Wikipedia, "Loren Ipsum..." is filler text in the publishing world that translated to "Pain Itself." 

(Photos (c) Pippeppop)

1. Political Campaign Brochure
     This brochure was delivered to my house a few months ago. While I will not reveal the name of the candidate and humiliate the person, I will say the candidate does not have a shot at becoming president at this point.
     The brochure spells the very wordy unconscionable correctly, then goes on to say    "... full-time workers lives in poverty." It adds a singular verb with a plural noun. Why????

A Weirdly Offensive CD Title (BONUS)

(c) PipPepPop

I found this GEM in a record store in Memphis. Sadly, I didn't take it home with me to give it a listen. Instead, I submitted it to The Tonight Show Do Not Play List, (I'm still waiting, Jimmy Fallon!)There is technically nothing wrong with this title, it follows the rules of grammar. 

a) I'll is the correct contraction for I WILL. 

b) There is a comma before water and baby, indicating the speaker is talking directly to his baby, like the great Barry White. 

     Quite honestly, I found the title it to be very unsettling. This man is in the woman's bath, with a champagne glass that may be filled with her body-soiled water. No thank you! 

Ryan Reynolds- Superhero and Super Harvey

     Today marks the release of hottie Ryan Reynolds' new superhero movie, Deadpool. This is Reynolds' second movie as a comic book hero, and truth be told, his previous attempt at saving the world in  The Green Lantern was rough to watch.  At least he got Blake Lively as his wife (eventually) out of that flop. From what I've seen, Deadpool is a head-to-toe masked  fighter who was disfigured. He covers himself up, hiding behind his slick moves and sarcastic wit. And important to note, has a naked fight scene, which might be worth the price of admission.



 
  However, my favorite Ryan Reynolds role will always be the first Harvey Kinkle in the TV movie that launched the show Sabrina the Teenage Witch. He was a total babe in a tracksuit this 1996 movie with Melissa Joan Hart. Unfortunately, he didn't make the jump to the show, as he was replaced with Nate Richert, who looked better in the 90's than he does now. Accodring to MJH's book , (Melissa Explains It All) they were lip locking back then. Sigh!

13 Reasons I Love "13 Going on 30"

Eleven years ago, Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo starred in a romantic comedy* (kids this is a dying movie genre so you might not recognize it) called 13 Going on 30. For this movie, a young 13 year old Jenna Rink (in 1987) is having a tough time with a clique of frenemies that make the West Beverly girls look tame. They want her to turn her back on her best guy friend, Matty. With some magic glitter and a wish, she wakes up "thirty, flirty, and fabulous," and she is co-editor of a top women;s magazine with the same girl that she was trying to be friends with in middle school. Her life is pretty empty, and she heads home and reconnects with grown-up Matty... and so on. An important lesson is taught here that every choice you make as a kid can change your adult future.

Here are the 13 best things about the movie:

13. Razzles Candy
Razzles are basically pop rocks, something that gets into your mouth and makes a big sugary mess when combined with liquid. Jenna insists on getting some Razzles when she and Matty reunite as adults.

12. Bad Bestie (YOUNG) ALEXANDRA KYLE
Jenna's mean friend Tom-Tom (real name Lucy), also known in my circle of friends as "the girl that looks like little Helen Hunt", and Jenna herself (Christa B. Allen from Revenge), who is a dead ringer for Jennifer Garner. 



11. Bad Bestie (OLD) JUDY GREER
This girl has gotten so famous as playing the best friend, she wrote a book about it! (And I love her for it).  As a constant best friend/pain in other movies like (The Wedding Planner, 27 Dresses, Love and Other Drugs). Judy looks like she has resting-Beyotch face in almost every scene, even when she's happy.  She plays older Tom-Tom and says such memorable gems like: "Jenna, if you're gonna start lying about your age, I'd go with 27."


10. BRITISH BOSS
Jenna's boss is played by Gollum for Lord of the Rings. He is snippy, antsy, British, and you still can't stay mad at him. He's on the left!

9. THE THRILLER DANCE!
Naturally at an office party. Watch it here!

8. TINY DOLLHOUSE
Matty gives Jenna a home-built dollhouse with all the coolest things- MTV on the television, and that rough rockstar Rick Springfield.

7. Thirty, Flirty and Thriving
Jenna chants this phrase when she gets her magical transformation.


6. The Dude: MARK RUFFALO
I'm not sure I can even justify Ruffalo well enough. He plays the every man and the reluctant leading man to a T every time.

5. NY RANGERS
Jenna wakes up to find out she is dating a very sexy NY rangers player.

4. SLUMBER PARTY
Jenna invites a bunch of 13 year old girls over to her apartment to hang out and sing Pat Benatar songs. Their parents find no trouble with this arrangement.

3. FANTASY MAGAZINE PHOTO SHOOT
Jenna creates a fun non-model driven photo shoot for her magazine, securing a promotion some someone... (no spoilers).

2. The CLOSET
There will come a day when i can display all of my beautiful shoes on selves in a walk-in closet.

1. The Girl: JENNIFER GARNER
Because without her, this movie wouldn't be THIS movie. Her bubbly personality and innocent wonder make me long for the days when Ben Affleck was seeing another Jen.



* A romantic comedy is a story where two people (who usually don't know each other) meet in an embarrassing or cute way, fall in love (or deny it for a while until something changes their mind), fight, break up, and end up happily ever after (usually with some wedded bliss in sight). To see a more modern version of this, you can view Amy Schumer's Trainwreck as a rom-com in today's day and age.

The One, The Only, The Great Gatsby

     He was the original forbidden fallen hero, the Edward Cullen darkness and Dylan McKay "devil may care" bad boy, and they called him Gatsby. I usually don't go down for Baz Lurman movies. I've never esat through an entire viewing of Moulin Rouge or Romeo + Juliet (ha, shocker), but I am so pumped for the reboot of  The Great Gatsby. Maybe I just love the idea of being stuck in the wild 20's, but it's intoxicatingly fun. Can you think of someone better to be Gatsby than Leo? And Tobey Maguire (glad to see the guy working again) as the bumbling narrator Nick? This is gonna kick butt! I can't remember the last time I was so excited about a movie.

A Note to the Texas Rangers (Not the baseball team)

The early 2000's were rife with movies starring teen stars that were major box office disappointments, a.k.a. failteens. Texas Rangers (2001) was one of them. For more examples of failteens, see Crossroads, The Rules of Attraction, Sorority Boys, and Longshot. For the record, Rotten Tomatoes gave Texas Rangers an average rating of 3.2 out of 10 (and 48 of the 49 reviewers did not like the movie). It was highly hyped on the pages of teen magazines like J-14 at the time and boasted the names of teen stars like James Van der Beek, Rachel Leigh Cooke, Usher, and Ashton Kutcher, but it flopped. So imagine my surprise when I found it on Netflix Instant! I watched the long-awaited movie and I will now explain why its my favorite western (in western form) and a GOOD bad movie. Yes, there are GOOD bad movies, and then there are BAD bad movies. This definitely falls under the GOOD type of bad movies.

1. People experienced death in a multitude of fashions in the old west.
Cowboy speak: They gone and killed those outlaws by hook or by crook.
There were no less than 6 ways to be killed in the old west:
- hanging
- stabbing
- shooting
- rifle poke to the stomach
- throwing people off a ledge into the Rio Grande (drowning)
- dynamite

2. A giant "set piece" happened within the first 7 minutes of the movie and an entire cast of extras was dead.
Cowboy speak: Those outlaws murdered a town so we had a goshdarn potline.

3. These five words:
- Alfred Molina as the villian.
^ Like in Spiderman, but with a horse instead of octo-arms.
- Dylan McDermott wears cowboy hat
^ This is why i have dubbed DMD the original "McPretty Eyes"
- Dawson crying like a girl.
^ It made him a youtube senation.
- Usher Raymond as an actor.
- Ashton as the dumb one.

4. Classic movie moments and quotes:
- "Don't move or I'll shoot." - Ashton
"What happens of I do move?" - Dawson

- The big rangers recruiting town Brownsville proves its swanky; it has its own windmill.

- Vigilante fighter (cocks gun): "Hey preacher, vote's in."
Dylan McDermott then shoots the man and refuses to give last rites.

- "Would you like that in English, French, or Latin?" - Dawson
"I only know Spanish, Cherokee, and Comanche." - Dylan McDermott

- " You rope yourself a woman and I'll drink the Rio Grande." - Usher to Dawson
Dawson later ropes a woman. Amazing foreshadowing in the script in that scene.

- Ashton is so impatience to take a bath, he jumps in Dawson's bath. Rachel finds them together in the tub and is oddly disturbed. She calmly walks away.

5. Best use of country-type actor in country movie!
- RANDY TRAVIS as the second in command of the rangers.

A Note About Winter Movies

I hate snow. I cannot stand winter. So here are 5 movies that I plan to watch with the upcoming (and impending) snow days to follow:

5. The Tourist
Because:I received an advance copy. I feel bad not watching it.

4. Jane Austen Book Club
Because:I also got this recently. I love Jane Austen AND book clubs. Enough said.

3. Definitely, Maybe
Because: Ryan Reynolds is in it. God Bless Canada.

2. Anything with John Cusack
Because: I got "Grosse Point Blank" and "High Fidelity" on DVD. And because there's nothing more I love than a guy with boombox over his head, I might also watch "Say Anything."

1. Ten Things I Hate About You
Because: I just got the 10th anniversary DVD. And it's 90's teen Shakespeare. Prepare to be "Whelmed." They're all getting whelmed in Europe, according to Gabrielle Union's character.

A Note About Running From Harry Potter

Confession: I've never been a fan of Harry Potter. That being said, I LOVE (read: take great pleasure) in making fun of HP. The newest Harry Potter and the hallows of the prince with half-snape- or whatever they're calling it these days - is trying to rip off the running through the woods with the vamp glamour of "Twilight." Ironically, Twilight hottie Rob Pattinson played Harry's school chum Cederic back in the day- or so I was informed.

Harry, Ron, and Hermoine are running through the forest, with possible blood splatter. See a photo and discussion of the poster on MTV's movie site here.

In other twilight/hp news, check out Jimmy Fallon's spoof videos here, where "Rob" and "Daniel" both verbally attack each other's films.

A Note A'bout the GREEK

First of all, strange weather going on...

That being said, happy belated birthday to Katy Perry and happy wedding to her and Russel brand. In a twisted kind of celebration, I finally saw "Get Him to the Greek" tonight. Interesting movie, although we turned on the subtitles because RB was "pre'ty bloody 'ard to 'ear," but then again, so was Diddy. This is definitely not a family movie,(even if you are forty) and other than the overall idea that Mr. Snow (Brand) needed to get on stage at the Greek theater, it wandered all over the place. The promos definitely hyped it up to look like more...

A Note About 3-Movie Weekend

For the first time ever this summer, I went to the movies thrice in one weekend.