Sometimes It's a Grammar Fail Day: Part 2

     It's been two years to the day since I last wrote about widely published grammar fails. It's time for the 2018 edition of glaring grammar errors. As a professional proofreader, it's my sworn duty to call these errors out. Most of these are simple usage errors or some choice spellings that don't appear in any dictionary I have at home.     

7. Social Media Fail                                                                     

It's easy to make a grammar error when you're typing condolences in 120 characters or less, and my fellow BSB fans are not shy about pointing it out. In any case, confusing two versions of a word, morning vs. mourning is a pretty tame and forgivable grammar fail. It was best put by fan @GraceJoy1328 that in a time of loss, word usage errors are not too bad. 

6. Tentative Weather
Normally weather forecasts are given in ranges. Sometimes those ranges get a little vague. More than once this year, the range has just been 'a lot of snow.' 
Check out this drastic difference of snow totals in a warning from The Weather Channel in February. 
It could be 6 to 12 inches, expect in the spot that's going to get 10 to 15 inches. When we're talking about a half a foot's difference of snowfall, this is the difference between one snow day and not leaving your house for the weekend.  


5. Cable News Scroll Grammar Error
FOX News (a.k.a. America's News HQ) wasted no time getting the story out. In their hast, the screen card spelled out "Admists" instead of "admit." This is not really appropriate grammar for anyone. Someone tried to make the verb "admit" both active and plural, which would need to be 'admits,'. They also used a totally creative and "fake news" way of spelling, which is incorrect.



4. Store Sign

On a winter trip to my favorite miscellaneous shopping experience, Ocean State Job Lot, I noticed a sign with a choice spelling for 'hoodie.' When last I checked, hoodie is the singular spelling, and when it goes plural, it's hoodies. A simple Google before printing the store signage can save a lot of face. 

3. Doctor's Office Spelling 
When making an appointment for an allergy shot on my ENT's app, I did a double take. I kept trying to figure out who the 'eshtablished' patients here. There is one letter added to the word that makes no sense, and I keep wondering if 'eshtablished' patients are better than established ones. Maybe they get all of the early morning and late night slots before they will become available? In any case, I'll be booking by location tonight. 



2. Newsletter Nightmare
It's easy to confuse two similar words when you type as fast as I do. It's quite embarrassing to have a link to a nutritional article about dairy (with a cow pictured) and to find out this piece is about "diary??" Clearly, these two common words can be swapped easily, but they have nothing in common. 





1. Headline Homicide
I did a double take last week when I read this latest development in the fragile relationship of comedian Pete Davidson and singer Ariana Grande. Not only are the pair shockingly engaged after one month of dating, but then Pete died??? What a tragedy...
Here is another classic version of using the wrong word drastically changing the meaning of the sentence, for the worst. When someone DYES something, they add color to it, but when they DIE, they are not living (or playing an elaborate casino game). 

Fashion or Foe: The Great Shorts Debate

'Jorts' (c) PipPepPop

     I'm heading to a warm climate for a spring break trip, and I'm trying on my summer clothes in the middle of a blizzard. It's moved way past odd timing, since we just got an extra hour of daylight about 2 days ago. I'm officially in a summer shopping binge. As I mentioned last week, it's tough enough to shop for petite fashions, but even more so when they're made to be short. I've encountered shorts problems  most notoriously involving the length. The classic above-knee Bermuda short usually comes below my knee, making it more conservative than your standard 3" inseam 'Daisy Duke' short, but somewhere in-between a short and a capri.

     So where do I continue my shorts struggle? One of the bizarre trends I've noticed on fashion retail websites is the pairing of a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt or long sleeve top. This seems to be a trend per my Google search, possibly made popular by the breezy lake fashions of Dawson's Creek. You can spot Katie Holes in the season 1 credits here, sporting a tied dress shirt top and shorts. I have tried this, but never left the house intentionally in this outfit. The reason for this is that there is never a time when I'm going to be be outside where my legs and arms are not equally cold. I'm definitely not going to pair a sweater with my shorts, as suggested by Ann Taylor Loft and other retailers.  If I'm going to wear a sleeved and shorts, I'm just going to save myself the complaining and put on longer pants to stay warm.

     My other conundrum when it comes to shorts is the style. In an ideal world, you would have a few pairs in different colors, prints and possibly even shapes. I love the idea of classy black or white shorts that can be paired with a cute (short length) tank. I even fancy printed shorts that can be paire with a solid top. In reality, I usually end up searching for a pair of dark blue jean shorts (jorts). Then when washing, I pray the blue doesn't run if it's a particularly hot day. In New Orleans, a brand new pair of blue jean shorts bled all over my fabric bag from sheer sweat!

     In the quest for the perfect pair of denim shorts, there are two types, frayed and finished. While I own some frayed pairs, I'm not a fan. They end up looking too worn soon after the first wash. I'm all for something that I could wear to a picnic or amusement park and not worry about getting dirty, but I shouldn't have to pick off split threads  after each time I wear them. The frayed pair is usually marketed as a cutoff, like you took for favorite pair of jeans and shortened the length. More often than not, I find the shorts are made different from my favorite pair of jeans, either roomier in the leg or gaping around my tailbone. Is there a perfect pair out there? I'll keep looking until I find it.

My ideal pair would have to be:

• A minimum 5" inseam (even as a teenager I didn't want my butt hanging out)
• Evenly finished at the bottom
• Tight enough around my waist that I don't need a belt (#NoBelts) (#NoBoyfriendFit)
• Casual, but could  be dressed up

Fashion or Foe: It's Not Easy Being Petite

   In honor of International Women's day, I'm tackling an issue dear to my heart: petite fashion!

Sometimes getting dressed is like this Clueless scene. GIF from Tumblr. 

This is not how a maxi dress should fit!
Image from Pintrest

     I enjoy shopping for clothes as much as the next gal, but I sometimes find the task insurmountable because of my size. I am 5 feet tall, and I am a petite size. You must be thinking now, is this girl complaining about being small? How dare she? For the record, it's not all it's cracked up to be. I often feel like I'm a child playing dress-up in my dad's work shirts. Unlike in Rom-coms, it is not a cute look. I also had a maxi dress that made me look like Kirsten the American Girl (left) in her Christmas robe. As an investment in my sanity, I have found a delightful tailor that knows my shape and has saved countless garments from return or the Goodwill pile.



     I've taken to online shopping, sight unseen, to find the most petite options. In recent months, Express, Gap and Old Navy have all launched online petite collections. I enjoyed the petite fit of The Limited, but as mentioned in a previous post, that is no longer an option. Part of the frustration in petite shopping is that these stores have the audacity to carry the items only in their warehouses. They're doing you a "favor" by creating shorter length pants (still not short enough if you ask me), but you have to use a picture of a model to guess the fit. It says the pants are made for a 5'4" size and under, but those cropped jeans will still hit me at the ankle. The size chart is often not helpful enough in determining fit. Some petite sizes are just less long than the regular, or give a general size like 4-6, which is neither a 4 or a 6. These retailers need to size clothing accordingly and address common problems like the butt/waistband gap issue. (For this problem, I am now wearing petite curvy jeans). In a nutshell, you have no idea how they really fit, and they make you pay to ship the items to your house. You may order two sizes, and you end up spending a lot of time dealing with returns because a blousy petite small tank is still about 2 sizes too big for some reason.

     If you can brave out the petite section of a store, god bless! I took a stroll through my local Macy's petite section, which is about 20' x 15' total due to the Macy's Backstage taking up most of one floor. The cute sweaters in the women's sportswear were nowhere to be found in this postage stamp of a collection. At best, it looks like someone that cared little about fashion or fit could find some petite options here. It was pathetic. I stop in at Ann Taylor Loft every few weeks to check their petite section. If I'm looking for jeans, I may be in luck. If I'm looking for anything else, the options are 'lofty.' I bought a small striped top a few months ago, and it still appeared huge on my frame, as low as my mid-thigh and mid-sleeved. Who is the parson that thinks all small women want to wear tunics? I would love to see more dresses and tops that fit or follow my frame.  I don't need more over-sized sweaters and drapey tops!

Fashion: Get Thee to a Seamstress

     I love clothes. I am guilty of lunchtime online daydreaming,  an occasional impulse online order, and of course the well timed "stalk it until it goes on sale" victory shop. This method recently led to a kick-ass deal, an EXPRESS hi-lo hem maxi dress for an upcoming wedding, originally $99.00 and on sale for the low cost of $35.00. I was able to get the dress tailored for a tighter halter neck and raised the hi-lo hem off the floor for the low price of $10.00 for a customized fit! I cannot stress the importance of a good tailoring to a piece of clothing. Two of my most frustrating shopping issues are finding the right fit, and knowing when to hold on to something I love to make it fit better.

A dress with perfectly tailored shoulders.

Double Dips  - Do You Need Two?
     Have you bought two identical pairs of jeans because the first pair was so good and you wanted to keep the "I've got it going on" feeling going? Then you find out they don't fit the same way as that magical first pair and you're devastated? I really hate that! I thought I had finally gotten hip to the idea that if I like something, I should buy two of it.  This has led to double pairs of jeans, polyester dresses, sweaters, teardrop earrings, Pashminas, boat shoes, satin evening shoes (in black, tan and silver), and flip flops. I have not regretted any of these 2nd pairs yet! Back to the jeans issue, I'm not sure why the fit is different for the same size and dye color of items, except they might have been manufactured by a different plant, which is so unfortunate. When in doubt, return the second pair and keep trying then until you get that magic back again, or ask a tailor's opinion if it can be fixed. I still recommend getting something you like in multiple colors (summer shorts can be nice in peach and green or grey khaki).

Dresses and Whole Body Fit
   Also another fashion disaster is the dress that fits perfect on top, but balloons out to make you look ten pounds heavier in the hips. Do not buy this dress! As a petite woman, the bane of my existence and the reason I found an expert seamstress is because tops and dresses that don't fit my shoulders. Who are these frocks being made for, lumberjack women? I have pretty slender shoulders and what I think to be average arms, but I have had multiple jacket arms taken up so I don't look like a three year old playing dress up in my mom's clothes. In another interesting turn, a recent SELF article profiled a woman that tried on the same dress in multiple sizes and she found that some timing going up one size from your "normal" size in a store can solve a host of issues, from tummy area puckering (not classy) to baggy butt areas, which some of my older pairs of work pants seem to fall guilty of this faux pas since I lost weight last year.

Does it Fit?
    My best advice when it comes to fit is that if you really like something in a store and you think a tuck in the spaghetti straps will make it stop falling off you shoulders, go for it. I bought a final sale dress from Loft recently for under $15.00 and took it to my seamstress for tightening in the shoulders and raising the mid-calf hemline, and I couldn't be happier.  The same thing goes for existing pieces. I have saves several dresses and skirts by getting the wait nipped in for a better fit and it feels great to be able to have full use of my hands when I wear a blazer!