Fashion or Foe: The Great Shorts Debate

'Jorts' (c) PipPepPop

     I'm heading to a warm climate for a spring break trip, and I'm trying on my summer clothes in the middle of a blizzard. It's moved way past odd timing, since we just got an extra hour of daylight about 2 days ago. I'm officially in a summer shopping binge. As I mentioned last week, it's tough enough to shop for petite fashions, but even more so when they're made to be short. I've encountered shorts problems  most notoriously involving the length. The classic above-knee Bermuda short usually comes below my knee, making it more conservative than your standard 3" inseam 'Daisy Duke' short, but somewhere in-between a short and a capri.

     So where do I continue my shorts struggle? One of the bizarre trends I've noticed on fashion retail websites is the pairing of a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt or long sleeve top. This seems to be a trend per my Google search, possibly made popular by the breezy lake fashions of Dawson's Creek. You can spot Katie Holes in the season 1 credits here, sporting a tied dress shirt top and shorts. I have tried this, but never left the house intentionally in this outfit. The reason for this is that there is never a time when I'm going to be be outside where my legs and arms are not equally cold. I'm definitely not going to pair a sweater with my shorts, as suggested by Ann Taylor Loft and other retailers.  If I'm going to wear a sleeved and shorts, I'm just going to save myself the complaining and put on longer pants to stay warm.

     My other conundrum when it comes to shorts is the style. In an ideal world, you would have a few pairs in different colors, prints and possibly even shapes. I love the idea of classy black or white shorts that can be paired with a cute (short length) tank. I even fancy printed shorts that can be paire with a solid top. In reality, I usually end up searching for a pair of dark blue jean shorts (jorts). Then when washing, I pray the blue doesn't run if it's a particularly hot day. In New Orleans, a brand new pair of blue jean shorts bled all over my fabric bag from sheer sweat!

     In the quest for the perfect pair of denim shorts, there are two types, frayed and finished. While I own some frayed pairs, I'm not a fan. They end up looking too worn soon after the first wash. I'm all for something that I could wear to a picnic or amusement park and not worry about getting dirty, but I shouldn't have to pick off split threads  after each time I wear them. The frayed pair is usually marketed as a cutoff, like you took for favorite pair of jeans and shortened the length. More often than not, I find the shorts are made different from my favorite pair of jeans, either roomier in the leg or gaping around my tailbone. Is there a perfect pair out there? I'll keep looking until I find it.

My ideal pair would have to be:

• A minimum 5" inseam (even as a teenager I didn't want my butt hanging out)
• Evenly finished at the bottom
• Tight enough around my waist that I don't need a belt (#NoBelts) (#NoBoyfriendFit)
• Casual, but could  be dressed up

Fashion or Foe: It's Not Easy Being Petite

   In honor of International Women's day, I'm tackling an issue dear to my heart: petite fashion!

Sometimes getting dressed is like this Clueless scene. GIF from Tumblr. 

This is not how a maxi dress should fit!
Image from Pintrest

     I enjoy shopping for clothes as much as the next gal, but I sometimes find the task insurmountable because of my size. I am 5 feet tall, and I am a petite size. You must be thinking now, is this girl complaining about being small? How dare she? For the record, it's not all it's cracked up to be. I often feel like I'm a child playing dress-up in my dad's work shirts. Unlike in Rom-coms, it is not a cute look. I also had a maxi dress that made me look like Kirsten the American Girl (left) in her Christmas robe. As an investment in my sanity, I have found a delightful tailor that knows my shape and has saved countless garments from return or the Goodwill pile.



     I've taken to online shopping, sight unseen, to find the most petite options. In recent months, Express, Gap and Old Navy have all launched online petite collections. I enjoyed the petite fit of The Limited, but as mentioned in a previous post, that is no longer an option. Part of the frustration in petite shopping is that these stores have the audacity to carry the items only in their warehouses. They're doing you a "favor" by creating shorter length pants (still not short enough if you ask me), but you have to use a picture of a model to guess the fit. It says the pants are made for a 5'4" size and under, but those cropped jeans will still hit me at the ankle. The size chart is often not helpful enough in determining fit. Some petite sizes are just less long than the regular, or give a general size like 4-6, which is neither a 4 or a 6. These retailers need to size clothing accordingly and address common problems like the butt/waistband gap issue. (For this problem, I am now wearing petite curvy jeans). In a nutshell, you have no idea how they really fit, and they make you pay to ship the items to your house. You may order two sizes, and you end up spending a lot of time dealing with returns because a blousy petite small tank is still about 2 sizes too big for some reason.

     If you can brave out the petite section of a store, god bless! I took a stroll through my local Macy's petite section, which is about 20' x 15' total due to the Macy's Backstage taking up most of one floor. The cute sweaters in the women's sportswear were nowhere to be found in this postage stamp of a collection. At best, it looks like someone that cared little about fashion or fit could find some petite options here. It was pathetic. I stop in at Ann Taylor Loft every few weeks to check their petite section. If I'm looking for jeans, I may be in luck. If I'm looking for anything else, the options are 'lofty.' I bought a small striped top a few months ago, and it still appeared huge on my frame, as low as my mid-thigh and mid-sleeved. Who is the parson that thinks all small women want to wear tunics? I would love to see more dresses and tops that fit or follow my frame.  I don't need more over-sized sweaters and drapey tops!

Golden Globes 2017- Fashion or Foe

     I have reviewed countless photos of outfits from last Sunday's Golden Globe Awards. I'm ready to review my picks for my favorite and least favorite outfits. We'll also review some trends for the 2017 season. To make our lives easier, please refer to the Refinery29 Golden Globes Photo Galley.

The Best:

Image from Giphy

5. Brie Larson in Rodarte
Last year's gold-carpet queen (and Golden Globe winner) shined in a fitted chiffony strapless gown. Even better, it was a sweetheart neckline, which I adore. It was a deep crimson, reminding me of last year's raved-about color of red. The most amazing part is the crisscross panels of sequins in the front of the dress. If this was a bridesmaid dress, or even remotely affordable, I would wear it in a heartbeat.

Image from Giphy

4. Millie Bobby Brown in Jenny Packham
I wish I had dressed like this for my junior prom! This 123-year-old star of Stranger Things was all-class in a Silver A-line cocktail dress. It had attachments that were very sparkly and she had a clean bob. Did you see her shoes? I love those silver Sophia Webster sandals and would wear them to a wedding. In fact, I own wedding sandals that look just like that...

Image from Giphy

3. Kristen Bell, also in Jenny Packham
Wow, Ms. Bell brings it in this tuxedo-like black dress. It is all sequins from the long sleeves to the hems with that gorgeous silky collar. She brought the girls out in this deep "U" dress. She balances the open top with a simple hairstyle and beautiful earrings. This look is a far cry from her ordinary look on The Good Place.

Image from Giphy

2. Emma Stone in Valentino
This tan dress with silver embellished stars remind me of my high school senior prom dress. I loved that dress and I love Valentino so I am all in. Sometimes, I'm afraid to wear something too close to my fair skin tone, but Ms. Stone pulls off the looks flawlessly. She also compliments with a beautiful teardrop choker. It's the very essence of LalaLand.

Image from Giphy

1. Felicity Huffman in Georges Chakra
The legendary actress wowed in American Crime Story this season as a tough school headmistress. I was shocked when I saw Ms. Huffman looking beyond glamorous in a jumpsuit that looked like a dress. The dress could have fit in at any disco or fancy party with the Gold/Silver V-necked top and flowy, white bottom. With a chic blowout, I'm granting Huffman the fashion award of the night.

Honorable Mentions go out to:

• Viola Davis in Michael Kohrs
• Drew Barrymore in Monique Lhullier
• Amy Adams in Tom Ford (designer and director)

The Worst:

Image from Giphy

Tracee Ellis Ross in Zuhair Murad
     Ms. Ross left the show with a deserved best actress in a TV comedy trophy for Black-ish, but I kept thinking her dress looked like a birdcage. I love the top of the dress with the strapless neckline intricate beading. Also I'll give props, the dress was in this year's it color of White/Silver. But it's drawbacks included too sheer of a netting on the bottom of the dress. It was distracting. If the bottom flared out more, I could be on board.

Image from ReBloggy

Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton
     I like lace just as the next gal, but not when it's done like this. The top of the dress had a lace corset AND off-the-shoulder pieces to give a "cold shoulder" look. The simple piece of ribbon tied around Williams' neck seems like it's missing a pendant. The lace has a black under layer that makes it look more like a coat than a dress. If it flared out and ended at a tea-length to cocktail-length, I might like it better, but I'm calling a miss.






Trends for 2016:

• White/Silver colors : An Ode to Winter 
• Bringing "the girls" out
• "V" There:  Jennifer Lopez once wore a dress that had a V of cleavage down to her bellybutton. Nothing was quite as deep, but actresses such as Jessica Biel and Gina Rodriquez brought their A-game to a deep V top. 
• Visible Legs in a long dress:  I have often heard, a woman can show cleavage or a little leg, but not both. Many actresses such as Kristen Wiig had cutouts or sheer columns in their dresses that showed a bit of leg in a classy way. 

Retail Tanks in 2017- The End of An Era

     America is in facing a huge emergency. It's a "Darth Vader is coming" type of fashion emergency. In the last week, I have learned that 2 major retail chains are closing stores (again), and one manjor women's retailer is going out of business. One store is on it's way back in the coming weeks, but the damage may already be done.

The Limited- Shock and Awe
     A week ago, I walked past my local The Limited store. It was Gone Girl. It wasn't just closed, it was dark and stripped of all signage. It was completely empty. In fact, I didn't even know that spot was The Limited until I reviewed the stores on each side. Here's the kicker. I didn't have any idea the store was closing. And it seems other people are in the same boat. According to an article I read today, the stores began filing notices after thanksgiving that large-scale layoffs were coming. What they didn't say was that their plan meant that everyone was getting laid off. All of the stores are closing as of tomorrow evening, but news sources report the online business will remain open. Right now, everything is 50% off on TheLimited.com and there is no information about the future of the company.

     It's basically like The Limited is pulling an Irish exit, disappearing from a party out the back door. My mom had been by out local store two days before me, and it was fully operational. There was no "everything must go" signage. Now everything is 90% off in store. It's almost like the stores begun closing in secret. I read several articles that had been posted by local newspapers around the country last week, all stores in Florida are closing, all stores in Ohio are closing.... but nobody mentioned it was across the country. Now I'll have to look for a new place to buy my favorite dress pants...

Macy's and Sears- More Disappointments
     Major retailers are struggling. We can get so many things online today, but we can't try on a sweater through our computer. We can't get lost in counters of perfume and makeup on the computer. How can so many large department stores be closing? Macy's plans to close almost 65 stores early this year, resulting in 4,000 to 6,000 employees (depending on which source you consult) that will lose their jobs or be re-assigned to other stores. One of my local stores added a "Macy's Backstage" department, which carries a lot of assorted items and clothes for the "fashion-forward bargain hunter." When I walked through the area, the associate explained that this was to compete with the trifecta of bargain hunting,  TJ Maxx, HomeGoods and Marshalls.  I have no ill will against these store,s but I've never gone to Macy's looking for the same things I look for HomeGoods. And I know for sure, that when shopping for a wedding registry, one goes to Macy's as opposed to Marshalls. I'm really shocked that a store that has a very classy reputation is going so (for lack of a better word) mainstream.

     On the other hand, I've always seen Sears as more of an every woman type of store. The sell electronics and tools as opposed to makeup and luggage. I also cannot remember the last time I've shopped in a Sears. TBH, once the Kardashian Kollection moved in (about 2010), I couldn't step foot into the store unless I was cutting through to get somewhere else. I take it back, as I did go there to pick up a pair of discount boots at the beginning of spring. I also had to return to the store because the box was sold to me with two right boots. Reports indicate Sears is in serious trouble. They are closing 150 stores (a mix of Sears and KMart stores). They are also selling off their legendary Craftsman Tools brand to pay off debts. It's pretty unfortunate.

Aeropostale- a New Hope?
     Trouble started with the closing of similiar brand American Eagle's lingerie/apparel store Aerie in 2014. They went online only and are still here online in 2017. Nothing for me if worse than ordering some underwear and bathing suits on a computer when you have no idea how they will fit.

     Throughout 2016, Aeropostale stores began closing (with signage). The filed for bankruptcy in May. In September, it was announced that the company may be restructured to keep stores open. My local store closed. This marks a new level of restructuring, where the chain of stores would be sold off to property management group, Simon Malls.  Simon is now the first property group to take over a chain of stores. We are eagerly curious about the new iteration of Aero coming to our local mall, which is not owned by the Simon group. Will more stores be bought out by mall owners in the future? I'm hoping this type of business model might keep any future stores from closing.

Fashion or Foe: Today I Became a Fashion Victim

(c) PipPepPop

     Yesterday was my worst hair day of the year. Today, I focused so much on trying to make my hair "on fleek" (as the kids call it), that my wardrobe took a hit. Suddenly the mornings are cold and as low as 40 degrees when I wake up. Naturally I decided a long sleeved gray shirt and boots were necessary for keeping warm at work. Upon quiet reflection,  I'm struggling to figure out why I was so against black pants this morning. They might have helped keep me in a more neutral palate. I could have made my legs appear like one long, sleek line. I wore black pants yesterday and I didn't think I could pull it off  two days in a row.  Daringly, I went for a bold burgundy cropped pair of pants. I thought the crops would be safely tucked into my boots, but they were not. The pants puffed over my suede below-knee boots and created a very unattractive weird knee bulge. My knees looked larger than when I had a strengthening brace under my jeans due to a  partial tear in my ACL. It didn't help that the crops were just a tad big on my hips so they kept slipping down. I'm seriously considering burning these pants because of today's bad associations. I vow to stick to skinny jeans, tights or leggings tucked into my boots from this day forward.

At least I had a great hair day...

#NailFail- Don't DIY Fix a Gel Mani

The Claw of Shame (c) PipPepPop

     I got a gel manicure last week for a wedding. It was great! To clarify, it was as great as a gel manicure can be. It lasted about 5 days before the inevitable chipping began. This time, it was my thumbnails. They began losing chunky pieces right at the end of the nails, which is a nice change from the usual way I lose a gel manicure (pieces begin peeling away from the cuticle edge- ouch)! I thought I could solve my nail problem the same way I fixed my toes.  I touched up my big toes with a slim pink line on the edge with a glossy gel-like topcoat to seal in the new paint. Spoiler alert, I could not achieve this lofty beauty goal.

     The gel manicure itself is a fickle beauty routine. It essentially gives you quickly dried nails with a strong topcoat. It lasts more days than a standard manicure and is less mess  than some more invasive nail procedures. The only downsides are the potential skin cancer in your hands from the UV light (I always slather sunscreen on my hands before going to the salon), and the sometime painful process of removing gel from your nails. I've perfected the art of the gel home removal, but sometimes it's more of a science. It depends on the amount of layers the technician has placed of gel and color on you hand, and sometimes pure luck. See below for more details.

My other nail obsession: nail polish stickers (c) PipPepPop

    Back to my story.  I painted a think pink line on my thumbs (see above) and considered letting it dry. But, I worried the new polish would sit on top of the shiny gel layer like goop. I reached for my handy gel-like nail clear coat and swiped away. Here's where things went haywire. The clear coat looked good for a few hours, until it dried and became almost brittle. My shiny thumbs now have cracks in the top coat and my gel mani is officially DOA. They are very scratched and rough to the touch now. With some handy internet research, Allure taught me that a regular polish can be liquid-based for up to 24 hours. If done correctly, a gel-like coating can be applied to a regular manicure, but it's all a game of chance. So, I may have inadvertently made my mani worse by mixing a hard cover with an improperly dried top coat. Alas, I may need a break from gel for a while. I'm sticking to easy-to-remove metallic polishes for the fall.

Cleaning Gel off Your Nails: Step by Step
1. You will need: acetone-based polish remover, cotton swabs, tinfoil, a nail file, a small wood nail poking stick (a dowel with a sharp end) and patience.
3. Roughly scrape the nail file over the top of our nails to begin breaking up the gel.
2. Soak the cotton swabs or cotton circles (my fave) in a few drops of nail polish. They just need to absorb some of the remover or they'll drip.
3. Cut or rip small rectangles of tinfoil for the next step.
4. Wrap the soaked cotton around each nail and set with small foil caps.
     The closer your fingers look like little aliens. the better.
5. Sit for at least 20 minutes. Let the acetone soak. It will get in your nose.
6. Polish will be ready to prod with the wood stick it starts to separate from the nail bed.
7. Hopefully your polish is very loose and comes off clean from the nail with one jab with a wood stick. If not, repeat the process.
8. If you have given up, I found a battery-operated foot pumice can help at getting stubborn bits of gel off your nails.