Cop Fridays: Lies Beget Liars, No Matter How Pretty

Gif from Tumblr

     Dear Jesus, someone in the town of Rosewood is finally making sense! Of course it's not the Pretty Little Liars, but it's Spencer's mom, Veronica Hastings. This time and she is on the nose here. She announced she is putting the family home on the market. Veronica simply said,  "Severing ties with this town would be healthy, for all of us." I'm slapping a palm to my face and yelling duh at the top of my lungs. This town is toxic to all of the characters in this show, except Mona, who has nine lives.  Poor Spencer discovered in last week's spring premiere that Veronica is not her biological mother. Somehow, Mr. Hastings had an affair with Alison's mom, giving us Jason DeLaurentis. Then, Mr. Hastings had an affair with Alison's mom's twin sister, Mary Drake, which brought us Spencer. Spencer and Alison, by my account, are now cousins that share a brother and Spencer's half-brother is Alison's adopted brother, who became a girl (it's deeply socially confusing and a bit backwoods). This revelation came as part of the super creepy "Liars Lane" game that was left for the 5 girls. This creepily customized board game sends clues and tasks via a cell phone, like regular A with the added bonus of a scale model of the girls and their town. Overall, it's less involved than making masks of their faces or re-creating their bedrooms in an underground dollhouse, but still creepy as hell .Do they choose to report the game to the police? Of course not, because they think it would self-destruct before the detectives could even get a look at it. This is one the reasons I can't watch horror movies, I can't believe the characters would be so dumb. As explained in the Cosmo PLL oral history, members of the production staff made a jar and every time someone asked  a logical question (why is she running in heels?? Did the lairs even go to school today?) they had to surrender then door and surrender their disbelief.

The Rosewood Church (c) PipPepPop

     Spencer is now in desperate need to find her mother, who gave birth to her in a mental institution. This is the same institution that Spencer checked in herself for a number of ailments (she went full Jessie Spanno). In short, keeping all these secrets caused Spencer to have a breakdown. Who can blame her, her sister married a psycho who nearly killed Emily before falling off the top of a church. Spencer is also the same girl that blacked out part of the night Alison went missing and realized she tried to bludgeon the girl in the head with a field hockey stick (before they knew they were related). EW!  At the end of the day, Spencer pulled herself together and made it through college.  Adult Spencer devoted her life to her (fake) mother's political aspirations, and spiraled into a somewhat destructive relationship with her best friend Hanna's ex, Caleb. She also stalked her ex, Toby, and his new girlfriend turned baby mama turned fiance. Poor Yvonne is in a coma now after she and Toby  hit a deer with their car (the first non-human hit by a car in this show). The whole messy situation was complicated by Yvonne's mom running for the position Spencer's mom eventually won. Poor Toby was in the middle. Let's also take a moment to remember Toby became a police officer. Was he that good? Well, he didn't get murdered, and I'm 90% sure he never murdered anyone, so in this town that's pretty good.

Image from Giphy

     What is Spencer up to now? She's actually talking to the police about finding Mary, and her recent shooting. We were told by the detective that  out likely Uber A (Blind Jenna) did not shoot Spencer because the ballistics didn't match. This could only mean that Mary shot her own child. She must have been trying to send Spencer a message, unless there was yet another person lurking in the school for the blind when the liars went there to confront the now dead Noel Kahn. At least Spencer is reaching out to a detective!

Rosewood town hall.
(c) PipPepPop

     Here's a roundup of the other potentially legal drama in town. Hannah was designing dresses for a political socialite and Blind Jenna was seen wearing an identical dress. Suddenly the front page of the post claimed Hannah stole the design. This is important to note: Jenna is still bind (or so we think) and her two bodyguards were also blind with sunglasses. It was like she was flanked by the men in black.They also went to a meeting on the "dicey" side of town, which was indicated by a shoe repair shop and a bail bondsman.

     Emily is working at her old school as a swim coach, and trying to help Alison with a situation (see below). Of course, Emily's ex Paige is jealous, and all 3 women work at the same school. This time, Alison doesn't self-destruct; Paige previously lost her mind at a staff meeting. Even A isn't involved in this scandal, it's all in the hands of a whiny teen swimmer. She is a min-Alison, skipping practice and punishing Emily when she got punished. This chick (I'll call her A-minus) shows photos of Emily and Alison hugging during school and alleges some inappropriate conduct with students. Hey, maybe this girl  who would have been 9 when the drama started is the Uber A! Maybe she's another sister of Alison! Clearly, stranger things have happened. Speaking of Alison and stranger things, she is still moping after discovering she is pregnant with her psycho husband's baby. The good news is that the girls killed Alison's kidnapping and embezzling husband. The bad news is that the cops still think he skipped town and fled to Europe. Alison won't tell her other friends about the demon seed, creating a rift between Emily and the other,s like before Ali died. The question I can't figure out is what is Alison's deal? Is she interested in men and women? Does she just like toying with Emily? Will she make a decision about keeping the baby? Will she befall the same fate as her aunt and have this kid in a mental asylum? I don't know, but if I had my way, this baby would be Uber A!

Alison's House / Seaver home-
 Growing Pains (c) PipPepPop

     Finally we wrap-up with Aria. She may or may not still have a job. I'm unclear if she and her fiance Ezra finished writing their novelization about he and his ex-girlfriend getting kidnapped as relief workers. (Yes, this happened, just give in a dollar). Ezra left town because the ex, Nicole, was discovered still alive, and he's spent most of these two episodes in New York with her family trying to help her. Poor Aria feels like she can't even bask in her engagement  (to her former high school teacher) because the news is covering Nicole's story, celebrating the reunited couple (of Ezra and Nicole). Aria ran into a cute, childhood friend, who works for his sister's wedding planning business. Surprise, she's spending all this time with him, and her response to every question is "I don't know what Ezra wants." This is the most truthful thing I've heard in these two new episodes. Maybe it's finally clear that Aria and Ezra do not belong together. The law may not be keeping them apart any more, but they have irreconcilable differences.

{The most interesting thing I learned about filming on the WB studio tour is that every set (inside and exteriors) is dressed daily the the set decorators and teams, down to the signs and knobs}. Please enjoy PLL set photos from the WB studio tour! 

PREDICTIONS:

• I'm still convinced everyone in the town is in on this and they are all "A."
• Aria and Spencer's dads are going to start a creepy dad band.
• Hannah will stop wearing grungy sweats if she wants to be a fashion designer. 
• Spencer will confront her real mother.
• We will never see Spencer's sister or Jason again .
• (because they cannot handle this weird family dynamic) 
• Jenna will get her sight/ we find out she got it back a long time ago.
• Spencer and Toby will get back together.

Cop Fridays: Riverdale's 'Sins of the Father' with a Dark Millennial Twist

     First of all, Riverdale is a very spooky town. It's reminiscent of the 90's, a classic, timeless small town where everyone's parents went to school together. This is an increasingly important part of the plot. I love the relationships between the teens, but their parents have some uncomfortable history, See below) and everyone knows everyone's business. It could easily be Forks, Washington (Twilight) or the elusive but about to return) Twin Peaks, Washington. It's definitely in the pacific northwest because these pasty kids need some sunlight. Even on the sunny July 4th of Jason Blossom's disappearance, a slow fog and chill linger by the river.

     It's Jason's mysterious disappearance and eventual murder that kick up unrest in the town. Sheriff Keller is doing his best with his murder board, but he is out of his depth. Somehow teens Betty Cooper and 'Jughead' Jones (why the name?) are lapping him on mystery solving. All-American gal Betty (Lili Reinhart)  has a stake in the matter. Her sister Polly was dumped abruptly by Jason and sent away for a supposed breakdown. Of course, we discover Polly was sent away like it's 1960 because she's  pregnant with Jason's child. To briefly unpack this Romeo and Juliet scene, The Coopers are tightly wound investigative journalists (at the last non-online newspaper on earth) and the blossoms are old money rich from their maple syrup company. Back int he days of their great grandparents, Mr. Cooper and Mr. Blossom had a falling out and now they must never be friendly! Meanwhile Mrs. Cooper (Madchen Amick, formerly of Twin peaks) manipulates Betty, trying to keep her from crossing over to some unknown dark side.  We saw flashes when she dressed like a hooker and tried to boil the football captain in a hot tub. Betty just wants everyone to get along, but her Scooby gang hi-jinks have been bringing her closer to danger.

     Speaking of danger, Betty's new boyfriend and longtime friend Jughead (Cole Sprouse) is from the wrong side of the tracks.  His dad is an unemployed alcoholic and his mom ran off with his little sister. He spent time living and working at the drive in before it was sold to a mysterious buyer. Now poor Juggy has found some solace. His best pal Archie's dad invited him to crash with them, and Jughead seems to have found stability. His poetic lamenting is a bit much for me, it's goth Dawson-esque and not at all attractive. I wonder why people are friends with him, but I guess he's there to lend an ear. This week, Betty (the less damaged version of Joey Potter) threatened  Jughead's happiness by throwing a party for his birthday, which was crashed by the whole school. She also invited his dad, and in a very un-Dawson like matter, they did not come back together and wipe each other's tears away. Another important note about Jughead's dad (Skeet Ulrich) is that he;s the president of a rough and tumble biker gang, the Southside Serpents. This might have led to his wife taking off. The serpents are responsible for several unseemly things in town, shaking down people for payments, and  possible gay bashing. When the party broke up, Mr. Jones leered at Mrs. Cooper, suggesting they had a thing back in high school. This was too disgusting for words because THEIR KIDS ARE DATING!

     Let's get back to the murder at hand. My first guess was that Jason was murdered by his twin sister, Cheryl Blossom (Madelaine Petsch). Cheryl is the typical rich girl, cheer captain, queen Bee, and resident town insultress. But Cheryl has a soft spot for her twin. She was too attached to him from the first minute. The pair went out or an early morning boat row and he alleged downed trying to pull her glove put of the current. This was a lie. Cheryl (like mean girl Abby on Dawson) was covering for Jason so he could run away with Polly. His parents are typically cold and distant, but their grandmother supposed Jason and Polly's romance, offering him her engagement ring. But she had no idea about the baby. Polly explained to her sister that she went to Jason and he never showed up, she thought he chickened out. So we're thinking Cheryl is very sweet, helping her brother sneak off with his forbidden love. I (of the dark mistrust) intermediately thought Cheryl was jealous of Polly and murdered Jason so nobody could have him. At the party this week, a dangerous game of truth or dare led Veronica to accuse Cheryl of twincest. I completely agree with this theory, but it seems a bit too obvious when the characters confirm it.

     As the new girl in town, Veronica Lodge (Camila Mendes) has her own secrets. The New Yorker (Jen Linley much?)  in a small town shifts back and forth between rivals and friends with Cheryl, and instantly bonds with Betty. The tow are ironically known as fighting over football star Archie Andrews, but here it seems like their girl-mance is more important. Betty was classically in love with Archie, confessing to him after he kissed veronica at a party. Brokenhearted Betty finally moved on, and Archie seems to be "totes kewl" with his two best friends dating. Is yesterday's episode, the house party for Jughead's birthday ended with Archie (KJ Apa's) and Veronica's less than innocent sleepover. This came on the heels of Archie being dumped by Valerie. As much chemistry as the pair have together, their relationship is very icky because their parents used to date, and may be dating again The pair recently started working together and were caught making out several times. This is truly a Riverdale scandal because Mr. Andrews (Luke Perry) is still married (the estranged wife moved to Chicago) and Mrs. Lodge's husband is in jail for a Madoff-like scene. Then Mrs. Lodge got the movie theater land for the Lodge company (on the D.L) and fired Andrews's construction group to run the demolition. There are at least 10 major laws broken in this business deal. It's possible Jason's death is tied to Mr. Bloom bringing down Hiram 'Daddy' Loge's company, but it's too soon to tell.

     Finally, let's discuss Archie, the golden boy of town. He became the new quarterback when Jason Bloom died. Let's hold out horses, I don't think Archie had anything to do with the murder, but he certainly hindered the investigation. Archie was busy banging his music teacher (eww, please teens and teachers should not be having affairs because its icky)  in the woods on the morning Jason was shot. It took some time to tease it out, but everyone found out about Archie and Miss Grundy (Pacey), and Miss Grundy was sent packing. Archie  seems despite his misguided love interest, to be a nice kid. I still am a little surprised that all the girls are throwing themselves at him. In the span of a few weeks, it's been Betty, Miss Grundy, Veronica, Miss Grundy again, Valerie and Cheryl. They are all trying to get in his pants. Only one has succeeded, as it looks like Archie and Veronica made out and slept in separate beds. This poor kid is still reeling from his parent's split, but he may soon get some closure. The last moment of the episode ended with Archie's dad coming back from Chicago with his mom, played by Miss Molly Ringwald.

*The parental relationships are a new level on this show. Usually  on a teen drama, there's a few parents and some sort of love triangle or a couple going through a difficult time. Now we're seeing tons of the generation X drama, which I love. I want to see the parents and their relationships and work drama,  but it just seems like a toxic level of towncest here. I wrote myself a note that said: This town is full of creepy creeping. The level of rivalries and incest present in the parental generation of the town downright revolting.




http://www.telegraph.co.uk/tv/2017/03/23/teen-drama-tv-darker-ever/

Cop Fridays 7: Maggie Q is Literally Saving America on Designated Survivor

     Let's all give a round of applause to poor President Tom Kirkman (Keifer Sutherland). He was about to be kicked out of the presidential cabinet as HUD Secretary and as an afterthought had to sit in a bunker during the State of the Union address as ABC's Designated Survivor. Then a major bombing of Washington's lawmakers left him in charge of running the country. I agree that Kirkman is a pretty chill leader, wanting to hear all theories about the Capitol bombing before weighing in.  Of course, he's a bit gullible. He believed Congressman Peter MacLeish (Ashley Zukerman) was a war hero and a survivor of the attack. Of course that was a facade. In reality,  MacLeish was one of the major players in the attack. He purposely excused himself to a secret bomb shelter, coming out the only survivor of the address. This resulted in MacLeish's confirmation as the new VP, despite questions about his "impeccable" army service. The designated congresswoman, Ms. Hookstratten (Virginia Marsden), smelled a rat, but was forced to approve him through due to lack of evidence. In the end, MacLeish's wife shot him and killed herself to keep their secret. The MacLeishes were so committed to their cause that they were only rattled by the digging of an FBI agent.

      I give Kirkman, his right hand lady Emily Rhodes (Italia Ricci), and new Press Secretary Seth Wright (Kal Penn) a lot of credit for managing the re-creation of the union. Kirkman remarked this week, "I need to to focus on government." They jumped in and ran with it, but they're lacking when it comes to figuring out the true reason for the capitol bombing. A terrorist group claimed responsibility, but the bomb material didn't match up. This important distinction was discovered by the unsung hero of the show, FBI Agent Hannah Wells (Maggie Q). While she is crazily acting like the lone member of the FBI to solve this case, it's justified.  It's amusing to see Ms. Q finally working for the government again, and both sides being good. As the lead of the CW's Nikkita, Ms. Q kicked ass and took names as she brought a government assassin ring to justice. This time, she's still investigating government conspiracies for the government.

     Agent Wells had to clear her name a number of times, but she kept searching for justice. It could be a drinking game how often she is in trouble.* Wells was arrested for shooting at President Kirkman's sniper, which confused the law enforcement into thinking she was involved in the hit. She most notably was suspended from her duties for aiding the arrested FBI Director Atwood. Atwood was blackmailed into murdering the terrorist leader (allegedly responsible for the attack) in custody after his son was kidnapped. The young Atwood boy's body was devastatingly returned to his father in a recent episode, and  Hannah was there to comfort the director. She gently reminded him that committing  murder of a known terrorist was a good thing. This week, Wells questioned new Chief of Staff Aaron about his involvement in leaking confidential Capitol plans to aid in the building of MacLeish's bomb shelter. She chased leads through rural Virginia and shot at the former Chief of Staff (still alive!), which looked bad on her resume. Agent Wells got into a car accident on the way to testify in front of the congressional committee, and  sewed up her own wounds with the assistance of a FBI friend. She is one tough chick, but there's a deeper story. In the pilot, Hannah searched for a survivor of the attack, her unnamed married senator boyfriend. I want to know more about this relationship, but it sounds like it's going to the back burner as the police works heats up.

     As we head into the last few episodes of the season, Wells's work is only doubling. She recently connected with the President in his hospital room to spill the beans on MacLeish, and they're now best friends. Wells has been granted carte blanche status to get to the bottom of the Capitol conspiracy. A new layer of the problem has been revealed by the former chief of staff. Someone specifically ordered Kirkman to be the designated survivor before the attack. This reason goes beyond trying to fire him from the cabinet. As the newest pawn in this scene, Kirkman granted Agent wells to be a one-woman Hawaii-5-0 police force, reporting only to him. Now Wells can legally participate in CIA-crazy spy techniques and shoot at people to get to the bottom of this. It's the same thing she was doing before, but with a lot less getting arrested.


* If you're playing this drinking game, also drink when President Kirkman adjusts or removes his glasses. I thought in the first few episodes they were some sort of covert listening device because there seemed to be too much focus on them. 

Cop Fridays 5: After 8 Seasons, the Sheriff Can't Stop Doppelgangers and their Vampire Diaries*

     Happy 20th Anniversary today to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the grandmommy of all teen vampire dramas! We'll touch on BTVS briefly tonight as it relates to The Vampire Diaries but devote more time to it soon.

"Evacuate the town. Yeah, it's another gas leak." -- Sheriff Matt Donovan

     This is the Mystic Falls town slogan. I would also accept, "Come for the vampires, but stay for the lies that everything is going to be okay," because nothing in Mystic Falls is ever going to be okay. This place has been haunted by vamps since the Civil War! I find it ironic that in the last episode of the series, we're going back to the old classics. Similar to the old Buffy adage, "This crime was committed by a gang on pcp." The Vampire Diaries had their share of police cover-ups. In the beginning, Sheriff Forbes and Mayor Lockwood put the town at ease by straight up lying. Vicki Donovan (sister of Matt) was bit by vampire Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder) during a party in the woods, and everyone believed she was bit by an animal, another Buffy lame excuse. When in doubt, all of the vampires could glamour humans and make them believe whatever they told them in a trance-like state. It worked fine until Stefan became human again. All of his glamours became undone and the town was ready to riot before the gates of hell were being opened. Much like Buffy, TVD also has a gateway to hell lurking around their school. This is more a recent development as the "Hells Bells" came to town with TVD's siren sisters this season.  
     

Image fro GURL.com

     Let's talk more about the concept of a vampire going back to being a human. This concept has been a big part of TVD and I believe the cure was introduced around season four. The cure would only work for one person, and it looked like a large capsule of blood. Apparently, some Internet reading led me to find out the cure came from a brotherhood hunting The Originals witches as early as the year 1100. It was buried in some remote part of the earth and everyone wanted it for their own reasons. The idea was to give it to Elena (Nina Dobarev) because being a vampire was kinda an accident and it made her miserable.

Multiple Dimensions, Bonnie's Deaths and "The Cure"

     When a few witches created alternate dimensions to trap people {1994 for Kai Parker (Chris

Bonnie and the Bennett Witches
Image from Youtube

Wood) and 1903 for Mama Salvatore}, there were multiple cures created in those prison worlds. This brought the number of cures to 3. The first cure went to Katherine Pierce, a big bad doppelganger of Elena, also played by Dobarev. (The total number of doppelgangers she played was three.)The second cure went to Silas, a doppelganger of Damon's more saintly brother Stefan (only two doppelgangers for Paul Wesley). The third cure went into Elena's body before a season 6 wedding. Instead of Elena dying (and Dobarev leaving the show forever), she was put in a coma, her life tied to her best friend, Bonnie Bennett (Kat Grahm). For all her witchy ways, Bonnie could not figure out how to bring Elena back, aside from killing herself. Bonnie died three times over the course of the series and almost a record 4th time in the penultimate episode (Buffy only dies twice). But Bonnie is a fighter and she made it back through a loophole every time, so things were not looking good for Elena in this lifetime. After the big battle (see below) is over, Elena wakes up. Suddenly, Bonnie realized she knew how to break the spell. This was a stretch of convenience for the last few minutes of the episode. We don't know how she did it after barely practicing magic for the last 3-4 years.  I sincerely hope she channeled the power of her ancestor witches, in the image above. Bonnie used their strength to win the big battle (like Willow when she gave slayer hopefuls their powers early from the cool slayer scythe). Bonnie ends the show along, but she keeps seeing the ghost of her dead boyfriend Enzo, and she seems to be cool with it. Bonnie finally got out of that town and was headed off to see Europe. You go, Bonnie Bennett.

The Big Battle- "I was Feeling Epic"

     A few episodes ago, Bonnie injected some of  the cure out of Elena's sleeping body so she could give it to her boyfriend, Enzo. Then sweet Stefan went evil (just like Angel lost his soul and became Angelus) because he turned off his humanity to serve the devil for a few years. Also known as "Cade", the devil made the Salvatore brother work for him collecting bad souls in exchange for not taking Caroline and Ric's twin witch toddlers, which is like a magical full house. Bonnie punished Stefan by stabbing him with the cure, and turning him human for the first time in 150 years. At this point, the cure rules become unclear. Stefan got the cure, but it's still in Elena's sleeping body. It does, however, becomes clear that doppelganger Katherine is pulling the strings in hell. Surprise! She's had Cade torturing the gang since she died a few years ago.  Through Stefan and Caroline's wedding, they lure Katherine back to town. Here's the plan, trap her in the underground tunnels, and hope Bonnie can channel hellfire through the tunnels (like when an earthquake swallowed Sunnydale into the Hellmouth) to swallow Katherine back to hell and destroy the whole construct, once and for all. Stefan volunteers, he has a family to protect now. Damon volunteers, because he's done some bad stuff and has spent the last season pondering if he would ever be worthy of Elena when she wakes up. As Heath Ledger said in 10 Things I Hate About You, "Does this chick have beer flavored nipples?" The blind love and devotion for Elena is at times, completely revolting. So  now Damon is going to trap Katherine in the tunnels. Psych! Stefan comes at the last minute and stabs his brother with (you guessed it) the cure, so he can also be human, and live out a human life with Elena. Stefan goes down in hellfire with Katherine as a hero. He is officially, dead. Everyone was pretty upset about it, especially his brother (after 150+ years on earth, you get attached). I was near tears when they had a  "woods funeral" for Stefan, playing The Fray's Look After You. This song was significant for two reasons, it was callback to Stefan and Elena in the pilot, and Candace Accola (Caroline) actually married one of the band members. We saw Stefan pass over as he jumped into a car with his old (dead) pal, Lexie, where he proclaimed, "I was feeling epic!"

What exactly is hellfire? 

      Now we come back to Sheriff Matt Donovan and what he did for the town. First of all, Matt is the only character on the show that (a) did not die and (b) remained human the entire time.  Secondly, he only became the Sheriff because enough people died, moved away, or quit that he was the only one dumb enough to stick around in a town that was at one time, preventing non-vampires from entering at the "welcome" sign.  Does that make him a good cop? I can't say. I can say that Matt was the Mystic Falls equivalent of a Xander Harris. He had a pure heart, and he needed to do just one thing to prove he was worthy of being part of this extraordinary group. 

     Matt finally got parents this season, and they revealed he was from one of the founding families (he could have been Miss Mystic Falls). This means Matt wasn't the white trash he always believed he came from. The Maxwell family designed the founders' town bell, and the Bennett witches put a spell on it to drive away sirens. But a different number of rings would open the gates of hell, located just under the town square (just like the high school library). Before the grand plan to eradicate Katherine was developed, Matt agreed to ring the bell.  Then his 20-years absent dad jumped in to ring it, but hey changed their minds after hearing the town would be eradicated. Then Matt's mom came back from the dead (don't feel bad, Matt didn't even know she died) and got his (also dead) sister Vicki to ring the bell, bringing hellfire. Matt and Damon tried to kill Vicki, but remember, she's been dead since about episode 5. At least by this point, the crack team had a plan in place to take down Katherine and preserve the town. The town later presented Matt with a bench (for still having a town to come back to) while the ghosts of his sister and friend Tyler watched.  

Caroline/Rick/Stefan- One Happy Family?

     Caroline and Stefan got married in the penultimate episode. I know they've been engaged all season, but something about their relationship has never won me over. Maybe I am a sucker for the chemistry Stefan first had with Elena, and that fact that they're doppelgangers, souls reborn into identical bodies over and over again. That means something! Does it mean something that Caroline was hard core hitting on Stefan in the first episode? I choose to believe it was just a way to show her personality at that time, she was a boy-crazy friend of Elena, light and airy until she (within the first half of the season) became a vampire. That being said, a more grown up Caroline was forced into this family with Ric because she was gifted with carrying his wife's mystical twins. We all remember Jo's devastating murder at the hand of her twin brother (Kai) during her wedding. She is the only mom these kids will ever know, and Ric is the dad to all of the kids in mystic falls, because they have terrible family situations. Ric almost married Elena's aunt at one point (before she died), and it turned out his first wife was Elena's biological mother. Talk about an awkward family reunion... So Caroline and Ric called off their wedding a few years ago because she was really in love with Stefan. But, I always believed Ric had fallen in love with Caroline and I wanted to see them end up together. With Stefan gone a day after he got married, I am hoping Caroline and Ric come together again, this time with love and gratitude fro what they've faced with these twin terrors (siren nannies and the like). Their last scene is opening a magic school (just like Charmed) with Elena's brother Jeremy, much like the Derek Zoolander center, except books catch on fire and there may be Harry Potter robes. I guess the idea of the school is to prevent kids from spinning out and becoming magical super villains, like Kai. Despite their generous endowment to begin the school from creepy vampire Klaus, I choose to believe Caroline and Ric are together. 

Elena and Damon- Happily Ever After, or Are They Dead? 

     Elena and Damon are living happily as humans. I'm not happy with it, but I'm accepting it based on the circumstances. Elena writes in her journal, with a big rock on her finger, back in the graveyard again. In the first episode, she went to the cemetery to feel close to her recently deceased parents. Now, I think it's mostly for Stefan's benefit. I assumed she was writing ho him in her journal. As a typical back from the dead over-achiever, Elena completed college, med school, and actually became a doctor. I guess she handles blood well. She finished journaling and Damon met her to walk somewhere. There's a crow in the graveyard. It's another callback to the first episode. I also think Stefan's soul may be in that crow. Yes, it's a stretch, but it makes me happy.

     Here's where TVD lost me: the last scene. I'm going out on a LOST limb here, so bear with me. From all the interviews and pieces I have read, we are flashing forward to the end of Damon and Elena's lives. Otherwise, all of this was for nothing because it seems like we're following them into the not too distant afterlife. Elena and Damon were strolling down the street. Elena stopped at her home, (which she burned down upon becoming a vampire) and her dead parents were out on the porch. She ran up the steps, hugging them and her dead aunt, Jenna. Then her dead biological father (Uncle John) came out with a bottle of wine and hugged her. To me, one reunites with dead people when they have also crossed over. The last shot was Damon ringing the bell at the old Salvatore house, which a second ago was being converted into a magic school by Caroline and Ric. Stefan opened the door and greeted his brother home with a hug. The last words are another callback to the pilot, when Damon breezed into town to murder people. He said to Stefan, "Hello brother." If Damon was worried he would never see Stefan again, and here they are together in their home, they must be dead. If they really did destroy hell with it's own fire, they must be in heaven. So it seems like both brothers found redemption for being such vicious killers.

     While that's a great note to end on, I want to believe Stefan got another shot with Elena in the afterlife. They had such a beautiful (but too short) moment saying goodbye while Elena was in her sleeping beauty coma that I can't be completely satisfied with this ending.

 NOTE: A "woods funeral" is a memorial held for someone who is dead on TVD. I coined this term because it's happened multiple times, and at least a few of them were for Bonnie.  I guess this group needs to say their goodbyes in private, so a real funeral may also be held. They meet in the woods near the graveyard, possibly by the Lockwood family crypt. They say some nice things and often leave tokens for the dead. 

     *My original intent was to call this "Twins, Doppelgangers and Time Jumps", but there was only one jump, three sets of twins and a gaggle of vampires, diaries and doppelgangers to discuss., so we paired it down. 

Cop Fridays 4: This Partnership is Lethal

   Welcome to another installment of Cop Fridays! Let it be known that (in Oprah voice) I love buddy cop dramas. There's something about a wild card and a straight man that brings comedy and joy to every scene. When a network takse a beloved 80's movie franchise and turn it into a TV show, it can go one of two ways, it can be as good as or better than the original, or it can tank. Luckily, FOX's new Lethal Weapon has been to quote Barney Stinson, "All Rise." The delightful pairing of Damon Wayans as the seasoned  "I'm too old for this S**t" Det. Murtaugh and Clayne Crawford as the "request backup later" Det. Riggs is one for the TV partners hall of fame. In my opinion, they are neck and neck with Hawaii 5-0's McGarrett and Danno, which we'll get to in a future post.

     The most recent (2/22) episode involved a murder of a promising college football recruit. It brought the pair to a new location as Murtaugh considers a cushy job in college security. The pair would have to disband their partnership, but Murtaugh could guarantee free college for his three kids assuaging his newly unemployed wife, Trish (Keesha Sharp). In a previous episode, Mrs. Murtaugh quit her big firm law job. After jumping off (again) a dormitory building, Riggs exclaimed somewhat shockingly, somewhat delighted, "I'm literary covered in beer." Riggs's pursuit of the case, of course, ruins Murtaugh's chance at the security job and tanks the popular college football team's season.

     Though the pair are not Mel Gibson and Danny Glover, they have a palpable chemistry. Det. Riggs (shown above) comes to Los Angeles as a transfer from Texas, escaping after a cartel murders his pregnant wife. His in-laws live in the area and try to bring him back to reality, but he doesn't want their help. Riggs spends nights drinking himself to sleep, dreaming about his wife Miranda (Floriana Lima) and taking risky chances on the job. The two were partnered in the hopes that sensible Murtaugh would help to even out the volatile Riggs. Riggs at times over the season opens up to Murtaugh and his family, even becoming a confidant of Murtaugh's teenage son and daughter. Trish's first invitation to family dinner becomes an open one and Riggs slowly shifts into the" fun uncle" role, although Murtaugh's toddler makes him squirmy after his previous trauma.

     Both Riggs and Murtaugh have been to therapy, and for good reasons. Riggs is forced by the department (see risky antics and borderline alcoholism) to see a shrink, played by Jordana Brewster. Brewster's Dr. Cahill seems to get through to Riggs marginally in each session we witness, as he gives a little and then takes it all back at the end. Dr. Cahill is incredibly patient, letting Riggs eat her salad from the work fridge because it must mean more to him than to her since he went to the trouble of stealing it. I could see this  duo blossoming into a "will they or won't they" type of ship in the future. Riggs also has struck up a friendship with DEA Agent Karen Palmer (Hilarie Burton) that could turn romantic, and I am on board for that. Burton plays a role that reminds me of her White Collar character Sara, only on the law-enforcement side instead of the con/conned side. A recent episode ended with Riggs covering Sara with a blanket after fetching some late night Chinese food. It's a relatively new side to Riggs and it looks like this may develop more in next week's episode. I would like to see him start to move on, or at least make another friend besides Riggs.

Damon Wayans on Happy Endings
 Photo From Youtube

     Murtaugh's journey is a bit more complicated. He is always the dependable one, the by-the-book cop, which becomes one of the main sources of conflict, and comedy. Damon Wayans is a great comedic actor, as are all Wayans brothers, but I tie his best work to his facial expressions and his son, Damon Wayans, Jr.  As Murtaugh, Wayans is expressive in small, quiet ways. He seems grumpy most of the time, but lights up in scenes with his family. Murtaugh is cop before he is a father. He makes sure to punish his kids when they get busted for things a fake I.D. or for joy riding an expensive car.

     Following the pre-pilot heart attack that sidelined him,  Murtaugh slowly falls to pieces  in an episode where he must wear a heart monitor while on the job. Police work is bound to be stressful, but Riggs jumping off buildings and chasing cars sets the monitor off at an alarming rare. I know I shoul be concerned for Murtaugh and his health, but Wayans keeps me laughing. Another great episode paired the detectives with a Chinatown detective that was Murtaugh's procedural equal. They both wanted to call in backup  early, a refreshing change from what usually happens (usually backup is not called or comes after the gunfire with the perps has started). In the end, Murtaugh could not take up the detective's offer to switch departments because he seems to relish in the frustration and danger that comes with each day on the job.

     Reality is not lost on this show. Los Angeles is a crazy place, and crimes have taken the investigators to model parties, casinos, churches, and even burglaries in Murtaugh's suburban neighborhood. At the end of the pilot, the duo get reamed out by their superior Capt. Avery (Kevin Rahm,) for causing over $60,000 dollars of damage to the the city while pursuing suspects. This seems like a scene that would end a movie. Since this is a TV show, we see from week to week how the detectives are treated by the department after messing up. They are given a warning, they are sent to therapy etc.. Some may call the show predictable, but there's something nice about a predictable show. It's almost as if this show was a  drama trapped in the body of a sitcom. As an audience, we see changes in Murtaugh and Riggs's interactions with each other, but they tend to be stock characters and we know that in each new situation, something will go amiss.  By the end of the episode, they find a way to bring in the bad guys, and they try to resolve personal issues that develop during the episode. That's something I'll never be too old for...

See the 1st  Cop Fridays post here.
See the 2nd Cop Fridays post here.
See the 3rd  Cop Fridays post here.

Cop Fridays 3: It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Bones

Image from Pintrest

     It's time for another installment of Cop Fridays! This time we take a look at the rapidly approaching series finale of my most beloved cop show, Bones. Aside from COPS and American Idol, the 12-season running Bones may be one of the longest-running shows FOX has ever had the pleasure of airing.

      I'm going to get sentimental for a moment and explain why the show is so emotionally enmeshed in my viewing past. The show premiered in the Fall of 2005. I was a college freshman looking for new friendships and television shows. All you had to say was that David Boreanez "Angel from BUFFY" was playing a hunky FBI agent, and I was hooked. I invited my close friends over for a viewing party of the first episode. We all cheered when Emily Deschanel's Dr. Temperance Brennan grabbed a gun and shot a suspect in the leg to prevent him from getting away. It was illegal, it was wrong, and it was awesome! Remember, she is the forensic scientist - hence the name Bones- and she should not have done that at all for various ethical and legal reasons.

The show became a bonding experience over subsequent seasons, I had regular Bones dates with a group of friends. We held out hope that one day Brennan and said hunky partner,  FBI agent Seely Booth, would get together. It took years... She was with child before the audience discovered they were fooling around. From that moment in the 6th season finale, Booth and Bones seemed inseparable. With two kids, several kidnappings, and trips to faraway places like Peru and London for cases, it seemed like they could handle everything. They even tried giving up their crime solving at the end of season 10, quitting their jobs in an attempt to give their family a normal life (it didn't last).

     This week, it all stopped making sense. Brennan's ex-convict father Max (the incomparable Ryan O'Neal) died at the end of last Tuesday's episode. In another psychotic revenge plot, Max protected his grandkids from an attack at home. [Sounds like just another day at the F.B.I, right?] He came through surgery for a gunshot wound, passing suddenly as he talked with Bones. After that moment, Bones lost it. The father she spent years not knowing (due to her parents faking their deaths and going on the lam, leaving Bones and her brother to grow up in foster care), was gone and died doing what he could to protect his family.

      What would someone do after suffering a tragic loss? She would be the subject of this week's episode "The Grief in the Girl." Bones flipped out, becoming distant from her husband, telling him that he should go to Canada to work a case, and it's really not important if he makes it to the memorial. She catches up with an ex-boyfriend (sorry, I forgot you existed, FBI Agent Sully). She works the case from D.C. She writes a eulogy. She is at best, her pre-Booth robotic self. She is at best, completely falling apart in her own Bones way. I really can't understand why she is/was so into Sully. By the time she reaches the memorial, Bones is finally ready to open up to Booth like most normal people do when they lose a parent. Bones justifies her time with Sully, saying that relationship prepared her for a relationship with Booth. That's cool, but I thought his coming to town just for her dad's funeral and putting in a several-day hang was odd and inappropriate. It seemed bizarre that he left the FBI, skipped town and ghosted Bones, and then wanted to be there in her hour of need. He has a girlfriend he might want to marry back at home. For the record, their relationship was not a Buffy/Angel after Joyce's death situation. It was also odd that Bones would abandon her evolved emotional arc and become so distant from her husband. I have not been this upset over and episode since  Dr. Hodgins got confined to a wheelchair, and before that, when Dr. Sweets unexpectedly died.  While I'm willing to give this episode a pass, I hope this is a justified  plot device that will help the characters move on as we go to the last episode.

I was okay with Bones through this weekend. Then, I got upset again. David Boreanez appeared on The Huffington Post's Build Series this Monday. It was a delightful interview, until he teased there might be several  more deaths in the last few episodes. I went right back into a glass case of emotion. and I cannot keep doing this again. Usually Bones is known for keeping death to the corpses in the lab. Do we as an audience need the schadenfreude of the writers killing multiple characters to help ua walk away from a show? Absolutely not, no bones about it.

*Updated 2/28
See the amazing Forbes recap of the episode here.
See the first COP Fridays post here.
See the second COP Fridays post here.

Hospital Saturday: Too Much Death on TV

     In addition for this week's Cop Fridays, I'm adding a new recurring column. It's been a tragic death week on television, so we will celebrate Hospital Fridays and pour some out for the homies. 

Gif from 1051fm.

   After last night’s blindside passing of Rayna James on Nashville, I went into a glass case of emotion, like Ron Burgundy (left). It was a complete and utter shock. This is Rayna's (Connie Britton) second almost deadly car accident (stale plot writers). Last time, her beau Deacon crashed the car drunk while the two fought for the wheel. This time, it was far more devastating. We have sat though episode after episode of this season with Rayna facing an unknown stalker. When she finally confront him last week, she had a terror-inducing experience convincing him not to hut her. If they had to kill her off (and they did according to this Huffington Post interview), why not just have the stalker off her? She comes out of the ordeal, quite shaken, and gets in the backseat of her police escort to come home. Then someone T-bones the car. Was it an accident? I've learned to believe car accidents on TV are suspect to some hinky stuff. I'm convinced this is some sort of deeply connected plot that ties back to Rayna's ex-husband Teddy and what landed him in jail. I may be wrong because this sounds more like a plot from old Nashville, where the stakes were unbelievably high.

     We also went through a whole  and Tuesday’s passing of William (Ron Cephas Jones) on This is Us, I am completely in a glass case of emotion, like Anchorman's Ron Burgundy.  I knew William would have to die at some point, because when we met him in the pilot, he announced he had cancer. Still, it was shocking to see him wither away after taking Randall on a road trip to meet his biological relatives. We learned all about William's past, growing up close to his single mother and singing in a jazz band. William cared for his mother in her final moments, vowing not to make his family suffer the same fate. We also got to see William (who is gay) meeting Randall's mother and falling in love with her, only to succumb to drug use to cope with the loss of his mother. It made more sense why he gave up Randall at the hospital, he knew he could never do the same job raising a child that his mother did. It was beautiful and emotional.

     I will be hiding out in my glass case this weekend, thinking about happy sitcoms.

Cop Fridays 2: When Partners Fall in Like

     Welcome to February. It's time for COP FRIDAYS, a little holiday this month I will celebrate every Friday night, saluting my favorite cop shows. This week's entry is about CBS's family police drama, Blue Bloods. The next paragraph highlights a powerful episode from January.

     "I don't want to get you jammed up," said Jamie Reagan (Will Estes) to his partner Edit Marie 'Eddie' Janko (Vanessa Ray). The two had a conversation after witnessing another male/female set of partners fighting in the street. One half of the other couple requested a transfer after the female partner was held at knife point by a suspect. Their parting words to Jamie and Eddie were that the whole precinct believes they are sleeping together. Eddie fluffed her blonde hair and suggested to Jamie that they should just got for it, pulling a Bonnie Raitt and giving them something to talk about. Jamie, whose father is the city police commissioner, shook his head and said it should never happen. But I have to ask why? Even CBS thinks this couple should be together.

Jamie: "We're paying for something we didn't get any benefits of..."

Eddie: "If you tap this (points to her bum), there's going back."

Image from Pinrest.

     This is why I watch Blue Bloods. Well, not for the dialogue, I definitely don't the in for the dialogue. That particular November episode was rife with terrible dialogue that sounded like it was from a 20's gangster and gun moll movie. Jamie makes a comment about the relationship between the two, likening it to trying to out toothpaste back in a tube if it didn't work out. Really, I would like to meet with their writing staff. I could see this type of talk coming from Jamie's widowed father and grandfather, which I refer to as the senior members of "the bachelor club," a nickname I used when Jamie and the two older generations lived under one roof together. But this is not the way a hot, single 30-something year old Harvard-educated lawyer (that became a police officer to serve a higher purpose). But I digress...

     There is a real reason I watch Blue Bloods. There are tons of procedural shows and cop dramas out there, but Blue Bloods is different.  It's a family drama and the family just happens to be filled with cops and lawyers with a strong (read too strong) sense of ethics. At first, season 1 brought us a murder mystery. We had to explore the conspiracy in the police department that led to Jamie's brother Joe's death.  The action on the murder cases can move fast, but this couple has been slow burning for years and that's what makes me come back (aside from Donny Wahlberg's Danny kicking ass and taking names). Jamie and Eddie have been buddies since season four, trading bad date stories and grabbing beers after patrol. They were partnered at the beginning of that season after Jamie's partner Vinny was killed in the line of duty.

     The couple kissed late in season four, but it's taken three years for them to pick up some steam as most of their talks have ended with a hug, like when Jamie comforted Eddie after her inconsequential boyfriend took a swing at her. A few months ago, they kissed after a double date and said they "had feelings," but chalked up the kiss to too much alcohol. (Read more from EW.com about the kiss.) Eddie came with Jamie to a wedding and Jamie punched a guy who was hitting on Eddie or making lewd comments. Then they slow danced. In last week's episode, Eddie reveals a deep secret to Jamie. She shares that she is a Philadelphia Flyers fan. Jamie, who comes from generations of Rangers fans (as well as cops),  is disgusted but forgives Eddie. This is surely not normal behavior for people that are "just friends."

      I also have to reflect on a pivotal episode from 3 weeks ago. Eddie complains to Jamie about her new boyfriend ghosting after she shot a would be robber on a date. It's a typical complaint, right? Eddie laments that she isn't comfortable being a damsel and she's frustrated she hasn't found a guy who appreciates her four her tough exterior. But there may be someone who sees her tender side, and is not threatened by her pulling out a gun and doing her job, even off-duty. It's JAMIE!! It's HIM!! He basically says as much while comforting Jamie. Eddie says they can't be each other's consolation prize. WHY??? It can't be because they're partners. Danny and his many female partners have always had an appropriate work/personal life balance in the detective squad. Whether it was party girl Jackie (Jennifer Esposito: 2+years), Kate (Megan Ketch: a few episodes), Mac (Megan Boone: a few episodes) and his current partner Maria Baez (Marisa Ramirez: since 2013). It's time to man up Jamie Reagan, take a chance with Eddie!
I would ship that!

See the first COP Fridays here. 

Cop Fridays 1: Live PD

     I may have expressed an interest in cop shows in the past. I would say I'm a fan of some. I, however, have never been a fan of the live-action FOX show COPS, which has run for 29 seasons. I'm here to talk about Live: PD, an A&E show that takes COPS one step further, because it's Live. The program is hosted by ABC's Chief Legal Correspondent  Dan Abrams (catch him on Good Morning America) and he guides viewers through live Friday night feeds and pre-recorded ride-alongs in locations like Mission, TX, Calvert County, MD, Columbia, SC, and Tulsa, Oklahoma each week. Some weeks, the show is on The show is also on Saturday nights most weeks, which means 3-6 hours a weekend of live PD. The show's clear star is Officer Sticks, a member of he Tulsa PD Gang Unit. I had no idea until a few weeks ago that there are gangs in Oklahoma, it just didn't seem like that kind of place. But it absolutely is, and Officer Sticks is right in the think of it.

     At best case, the night is filled with traffic stops (DWI) and calls for domestic disturbances (Uncle Billy) and crazy neighbors fighting. At worst case, it's police chases (I have to admit there was a pretty interesting one in Columbia) and  officers putting their lives in danger in some form or another. When the show turns off at midnight, there is always a case still brewing that we don't get resolved.