The X-Files Reboot: I Want to Believe But What Are We Believing? (SPOILERS!)

A.K.A.- Our Kid Is Out There

     To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to think of the new miniseries style season (number 10) of The X-Files. It took me watching this to realize how much Fox put into BONES, which picked up where X-Files left off in a way, but with a fuller story arc. They took it one step further- they fell in love, admitted it, had kids, got married, tried to leave the FBI behind, and came crawling back to solve crime (Booth and Bones, not Mulder and Scully).

      In its essence, I liked the new season, which ended last Monday. Still it lacked a district style of storytelling, almost like they had a group of writers throw some ideas at the wall, and then they used all of the ideas, and went home and realized they had to tie the initial story back together. Let it be known, I like the monster of the week concept of storytelling with a longer issue/villain at work (See Buffy, Charmed etc..), but it’s tough to do in a month+ of episodes. The overall (and barely legitimate) story tying things together is that first Scully and then Mulder realize they might have made a big mistake in giving up their son, William. Little William could have had a normal life with them (as normal as a kid of alien hunting FBI agents can do), but they were worried for his safety and they gave him up. He is a teenager now and they desperately need him to fill the hole in their hearts and (SPOILER ALERT!!) to save Mulder from dying of a weird apocalyptic disease.  Also, from the last scene setup, it is clear something else (another season or a third X-Files movie) is in the works with their son making his first real appearance since birth.

     Season 1’s opening episode My Struggle: Part 1 was truly Fox Mulder's (David Duchovny) story. The last 14 years have not been kind to him. It looks like he has struggled with drinking and got thrown out of any respect in the FBI, and he still lurks in a basement office.  He and ex-partner (in more ways than one) Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) have not seen each other in a while, and they have not lived happily ever after as a couple like one might hope. Scully is doing what she does best, running a hospital lab. Joel McHale’s TV pundit Tad O'Malley brings a case to them: a possible government conspiracy and a woman who claims she was abducted by aliens.

     In today’s society, government cover-ups seem less like the idea of a sci-fi story and more like an everyday practice. What could it be this time?  This one's a doozy. People may have been abducted by UFOs (real alien technology borrowed by the government) and unwillingly become part of secret experiment s that gives them alien DNA. Now that we’re all caught up, Mulder and Scully get back to working for Agent Skinner and trying to make sense of this seemingly bogus threat. As Tad points out; the world has changed. All of our seemingly private conversations are listened to, everything is hacked, and biological warfare threatens the very existence of civilization.

EP 2: Founder’s Mutation

     A series of events lands the duo in trouble with the department of defense for investigating a creepy clinic where pregnant teen girls seek haven. It turns out their babies are being stolen from girls' wombs and experimented on by a doctor (Goldman, a.k.a "The Founder") who did the very same experiments on his own kids' genetics, keeping his daughter locked up for years in a facility and his wife convinced she's crazy.  This girl has Alex Mack style powers. She's just about the same age as William. Goldman's son ends up locating his daughter and they use their super powers to kill their dad and escape. Ah, the joys of parenting...

EP3: Mulder and Scully Meet The Were-Monster

     A dead boy is found in the woods. Maybe he was killed by a bear, a wolf, a vampire... or a were-monster?  Yes, there's a difference. This is one of the odder episodes and it veered way off course from even the alien mythology. Mulder and Scully meet the monster and Mulder gets his whole story: "Guy" was bitten by a human, changing his lizard-like appearance human for certain hours until he turns back into a flesh-eating monster. The only legitimate thing about this episode was Mulder getting some renewed faith in his wacky theories. This is barely a plot point. This episode was really frivolous. 

EP4: Home Again

     Scully's mom is ill and she rushes to be by her side. Mulder handles most of the investigating for the case, a murder of a city official bent on getting the homeless out of a particular area of town. "Trahman", a street artist made a creation of garbage and it came to life, murdering the city official and others. This is heavy on metaphor here- what you build may come back and destroy everything. Scully's mom was heavy on straight talk. She calls of for Scully's long-lost brother William, and tells Mulder, "I have a son named William. You do too." before her final breath. 

EP 5: Babylon

Mulder in "Babylon"- from Fox

     Mulder and Scully meet a pair of partners at the FBI (Still not Booth and Bones, although I see huge crossover potential) while trying to connect to an unconscious surviving bomber to find the rest of his crew.  Agent Miller is just like Mulder, diving into conspiracy theories, and Agent Einstein is a female doctor working with the FBI to bring logic and reasoning to the team. It's basically a blast from the past here. Scully and Miller team up, with Arabic expert Miller communicating and Scully checking the bomber for brain wave functioning.

     Mulder reluctantly gets Dr. Einstein to go with his plan, where she administers him a psychotropic drug and he dream walks into the bomber's subconscious. The reality of the situation is that Mulder thinks he takes 'shrooms and ends up having a fake trip (or was it somehow real?) in Texas, dancing in a honky tonk to the best of Billy Ray Cyrus. This scene was very amusing and I loved it, but it really did eat away at some valuable minutes of the show. Mulder gets in big trouble with Agent Skinner, but his trippy dream led him to the answer : a hotel name in Arabic and some much needed to closure to the bomber's mom that he was coerced into joining the group. Mulder may have seen God in his dreams, depending on how you interpret the white clouds and trippy sense of peace he found. Maybe he became more of Scully's believer, one of faith versus one of aliens and conspiracies.

EP6: My Struggle (Part 2) 

     Episode 6 is Scully's struggle. Gillian Anderson carries most of the episode, with Mulder kidnapped by the "Smoking Man" (who is his birth father, and still alive after all these years?!). Mulder is pretty beaten and bruised and according to his phone, somewhere in South Carolina. Agent Miller goes off to rescue him while Agent Einstein helps Scully try to make sense of the rapid illnesses taking control of the population. Deadly outbreaks of disease start spreading and Tad O'Malley finally has the courage to go on TV and announce all of his crazy theories about aliens and government cover-ups because everyone is probably dying. Everyone except Scully. Why? She was given alien D.N.A. when she was abducted years ago (in Season 6). Agent Reyes started helping the Cigarette Smoking Man  (his proper name) almost 14 years ago with this terrible plan to wipe all the crappy people off the earth, leaving only people with alien D.N.A. alive. Why? No reason, he's just evil.... How did people get alien D.N.A? Abductions like Scully. How did they get sick, vaccinations (score one for Jennie McCarthy here).
   
     CSM asks Mulder is he wants some alien D.N.A. to survive, and he says no. Mulder is rescued by Agent Miller and they drive back to D.C. Scully chases them through the beltway, which is stopped dead with traffic because so many people are ill. Scully has a plan, we'll find William, their long-lost son, who will have her same resistant alien D.N.A., and give some to his dad, Mulder. Then a space ship appears overhead and shines its lights on them. END SCENE....

THE END
     This is how they're leaving it... for now. All of these silly monsters and telekinetic kids and dancing to Honky Tonk Badonkadonk, and then a possible alien invasion and cute kids playing Mulder and Skully junior.  Now the pair want to go find their son, and Mulder is half-dead. Way to go Scully..... This brings an end to my rant. I can't believe where this trajectory landed. I'm also happy to report the advent of cell phones makes things so much easier in these police/emergency drama/ evil creature shows now. #TruthIsOutThere

Winter New Comedies 2016 Roundup

Happy Blizzard of 2016 everyone! It's time to catch up on new Winter sitcoms!

Telenovela- Mondays on NBC
     Eva Longoria heads this cast of lovable and attention-seeking soap stars. They work in Miami and end up with the traditional acting workplace drama of trying to cry on cue and meeting a cast member's evil twin. Their more extreme adventures include  getting stranded on set with no food during a storm, and battling another soap cast to build a home for a less fortunate family, and impressing a network executive who believes Eva's Ana can speak Spanish. It's not very deep, but I find myself drawn to watching more episodes. Ana also has to work with her ex-husband Xavi, a recent addition to the show. The scenes from the show withing a show, Las Leyes de Pasion are pretty hysterical. The show's villain Rodrigo defines his acting work and success by his mustaches.

Superstore- Mondays on NBC
     I did not like Superstore for the first episode, but it has grown on me. I have a soft spot in my heart for America Ferrera's Amy (Ugly Betty). Her grumpy banter with new store clerk Jonah (Ben Feldman, from many shows, including A to Z and Mad Men) is well-scripted, so I gave it a second chance, and a third, and a fourth, and I think this week I'll remember to watch it when it's on live. The Cloud 9 Superstore in St. Louis is a Wal-Mart/Costco type store, and all of the employees are miserable working there, but they never have a dull day.

     The employees have watched numerous training videos, had a old man die in the store, searched fro a secret shopper, brought kids to work, had a robbery/proposal, and been interviewed for the corporate store magazine. There was also a mannequin that looked like Jonah that they dressed up and placed all over he store in funny and inappropriate poses. Amy is the floor manager, and he bosses make her look pretty sane. The store manager Glenn tries really hard for everyone to like him, and by-the-book  Asst. Manager Dinah finds reasons to report him to corporate in every episode.

Cooper Barrett's Guide to Surviving Life- Sundays on Fox
     This show has been on for three weeks, and I've only watched it online so far. I'm not sure I like the character of Cooper, or his two friends, Barry and Neal. They are lazy slackers trying to launch a hangover cure and are constantly calling Cooper's older brother Josh (Justin Bartha, Doug from The Hangover) to bail them out. Every episode starts in the middle of the action and Cooper rewinds to show how they got there, and how the issue will resolve. I thought it was pretty funny when they were being robbed by Paul Abdul, who danced around and waved a gun at them. As it turned out, they were participating in a medical study and they were hallucinating a homeless man was Paula.

     I like the two female characters, Cooper's tough chiropractor neighbor, Kelly. Also, his at-first stern but wants to be liked sister-in-law Leslie rounds out the group. Plus, their landlord is played by the same actor that played Ramjet the driver in How I Met Your Mother (Marshall Manesh). Only three episodes have aired, with a break until February 14th. I read Alan Ruck (Speed among many things, and just a really nice guy) and Jane Kaczmarek (Malcom in the Middle) play Cooper's parents in an upcoming episode. This show could have a chance...

Angel from Hell- CBS Thursdays
     A post-Psych Maggie Lawson plays dermatologist Allison, who in the same week, meets her guardian angel and finds out her boyfriend is cheating on her with her best friend. It's a common rom-com cliche, but it doesn't look like she is going to go on a maddening quest to fix herself to try to win him back, or meet a new guy.   So that's a little progress in modern day storytelling right there! In a pretty amusing scene, her dad and brother plot to get back at the cheating boyfriend from the lame (a post-it on his front door saying "Not cool man, not cool" to placing a motorcycle in the bottom of a pool). Both men clearly care for Allison and their family dynamic is fun.

     Amy, the aforementioned  Angel, or "weird friend" is played by Jane Lynch, who is the antithesis of GLEE's Sue Sylvester, a dirty, drunk hippie that is all knowing, and into teaching life lessons. In episode 2, Allison tries to reconnect and apologize  to an old friend by getting NKOTB's Joey Mac to come to her friend's art gallery and sing. As it turns out, this is the latest in a long line of events Allison has ruined in her friend Callie's life, as Callie's boyfriend was about to propose at the gallery. The translation of that lesson is not to try too hard. I like the show, but I'm not sure everyone does because of the religious connotations of an angel among us.

Teachers- TV Land Wednesdays
     For the record, I enjoyed the movie Bad Teacher with Cameron Diaz, but I hated the TV show. I wanted to like this show, but the level of insanity of all of these teachers might be a little too much for me. I only watched episode one. The show comes from a web series and the teachers are part of an acting troupe called the katydids. The first episode focused on an anti-bullying program at the elementary school. Threatened with personnel cutbacks, 6 female teachers join a committee for anti-bullying programming, only to cause the kids to bully each other, One shy teacher has a crush on a child's single dad, another berates her students drawings of her while taking selfies, another gives the kids silent free time, a fourth confronts her high school bully and gets the kids to team up on their own bully, and one teacher is reeling from her breakup of 12+ months. I can't remember or do I really care what was going on with the last girl. I might check out the 2nd, but this show might have functioned better as a web series. Alison Brie (Community, Mad Men) guest starred as the mean anti-bullying program coordinator.

The bottom line here is that anything is better than ABC's new show, My Diet is Better than Your Diet!

It's Jess Again!!!

I am so excited New Girl is back!

     I'm not sure what to make of season 5 so far. As we left off season 4, Jess's roommate Schmidt and her best friend CeCe proclaimed their love for each other (after dating multiple people and Schmidt rescuing CeCe from her arranged wedding in the season 2 finale). The first episode of season 4 was a great montage of the gang attending 10+ weddings and the season closed with Jess hanging a save the date for Cece and Schmidt on top of all of the other wedding invitations om the fridge. Suffering from a bit of my own wedding fridge fatigue, I loved the idea.

     We are now in CeCe and Schmidt's engagement and Jess, as maid of honor, unites the gang to throw an engagement party. she arranges for Cece's mom to fly in from India, not realizing that Big Mama P does not know that Cece has gotten engaged again, and to a white, Jewish Metro-sexual at that.  Jess's longtime ex and Best Man Nick, agrees to pick up Cece's mom and in typical new girl catastrophe, brings the wrong woman to the party. Jess, recovering from a broken leg and arm (perhaps a way to disguise her real-life post-pregnancy body?) tries to win over the crowd with Schmidt appearing with a Bollywood dance group, but Cece's mom does not give her blessing for the union.

     Determined to work with a small budget, we take a pause on the wedding planning to catch up on everyone else's lives. Nick and Schmidt now co-own the bar and Nick struggles to be taken seriously as a boss. Jess tries dating a boring guy because he has great parents, roping Winston into the scheme. By the end of the episode, Winston fakes a police stop to distract Jess's date while his parents Flip and Nancy try to convince Jess to marry their very boring son. Jess gets chosen for Jury duty just as she has the option to become acting Principal of her school. Cece and Nick try to work out their differences to make Schmidt happy, and Winston goes back to hanging out with his cat.

     I'm not sure if this season is a bit of a letdown with the departure of Coach, or if I'm just confused by all of the random stories and jumping around. With such a strong first episode, I was a little confused by the next episode, although I loved guest stars Henry Winkler and Julie Hagerty as boring Fred's (SNL's Taran Killam) parents. Maybe some plot lines on the show just getting a little too real? Only time will tell as we prepare for a nearly interrupted season!

Who's That Girl? Vanessa Ray Rules TV

     Some actors have ok careers, steadily acting in different shows like Lee Norris. Some actors like Jason Marsden have great years. Some actors like Vanessa Ray are killing it (literally) on two coasts and starring in two dramas at the same time. You go, Glenn Coco! See definition 2 of Glen Coco in the Urban Dictionary if you're not following us here.

Eddie Janko

     Just who is Vanessa Ray? She has regularly been appearing alongside the handsome Jamie Reagan (Will Estes) as his tough talking rookie partner as Edit "Eddie" Janko in the NY family cop drama Blue Bloods on and off for three seasons. She has shot people, arrested perps, been roughed up by a boyfriend, and faced her inmate father, among other things. She and Jamie remain close friends, but we've always gotten a glimpse of "will they or won't they." As of now, she is hoping to make detective soon, so maybe the partners will become more than partners if they're not chilling with beers after a long tour.  

Charlotte

     Ray may also look familiar to you from another popular role. Perhaps you recognize her as the long-masked sun-drenched villain of Pretty Little Liars, known as "A", Others may know her by her many aliases, such as  Cece Drake, Charles, and finally, as Charlotte DeLaurentis, Alison's "sister", who left Charles behind a long time ago. If you still don't know who "A" is, you have been living under a rock.

     In a nutshell, Alison had two older brothers Jason and Charles. Young toddler Charles loved baby Alison like a baby doll and tried to give her a bath, almost drowning Alison and getting himself a one-way trip to a children's institution. Charles realized he should have been born a girl, and mom helped out by having an operation to change him into Charlotte, letting dad believe he had died at age 16. Alison and Jason didn't even remember having a brother. Charlotte began a lot of mayhem to punish people, including the family that sent him/her away.

      In last week's season 6 premiere, Charlotte is released from the mental hospital and mysteriously "falls" off the church bell tower her first night home. A suicide, thought some. A murder, insisted the police. Now the liars must figure out who murdered Charlotte, and it possibly is one of the liars themselves. Maybe they could use the Reagans from Blue Bloods to help solve this case as the Rosewood police force are completely ineffective. 

MLK Skiing Weekend

     One of the greatest new shows of the season is ABC's Black-ish. Anthony Anderson and Tracee Ellis Ross (Diana's daughter) lead the show as parents Dre (Andre) and Bow (Rainbow), who are only content when they try to leave their kids with a positive affirmation of black culture. Living in the hood and moving up to a predominately white suburban L.A. neighborhood causes many issues for Dre. Bow, as a child of hippie parents, often tries to split the middle between Dre's hood logic and the Joneses they now keep up with, and often comes up short.

Ski Jail

      How will the family learn more about the rich culture and heritage of America, they're ditching all of the educational programs and going to a ski lodge. Dre and Bow take two cars up to the lodge. While Bow, her two daughters and son Jack enjoy sing-alongs in their car, Dre causes drama. Dre and his buddy Charlie fight injustice on their drive to the ski lodge, or so they tell themselves. They get pulled over, and in an attempt to prove to Junior and his white friend, Dre yells at a police officer and insisting this happened only because they're black. Later at the ski lodge, Dre ends up in "Ski jail" for calling the clerk racist when trying to book massages. 

A Note: Stay Out of IT, NICK LACHEY! - Part 1

I am so pumped for January 11th! It's almost time for the actual beginning of One Tree Hill's last season. Just kidding, they're definitely coming back for season 10, a la 7th Heaven. So why Nick Lachey? What did he have to do with the hill? Plenty. In season 6, Lucas and Peyton (finally) married hours before she went into painful labor- spoiler alert- the birth was fine! Nick Lachey happened to be in town that weekend (naturally recording a new single at Red Bedroom Records) and accompanied Brooke to the wedding to make some dude jealous. Nick offered some romantic advice to budding singer Mia (Kate Voegele) and she retorted "Stay out of it, Nick Lachey!"

Which brings us back to the center of this post. Why OTH? Why do I still care? What other small town manages to parade major recording stars as themselves in a casual guest appearance? NONE.
What other town had an all-ages teen club where major drama and major concerts happened?
NONE.
What show's major hangout/club later turned into a bar/recording studio?
None.
What other teens got married in high school?
None.
What show caused major Oedipus-like complex drama where your dad shoots your uncle and makes it look like part of a troubled teen's rampage? Triple Oedipus with your mom marrying your uncle who was more of a father than your real father?
None.
Ravens hoops?
None.
The changed face of American Music and live performances?
The show had a music tour! RE: Gavin Degraw, Everly, the wreckers, kate voegele, tyler hilton)
NONE!
Clean teens? Shout-out to Stephen Coletti, who spanned a guest role into several seasons of good, solid, acting.
Crazy-ass cheerleader fights? The Sparkle Classic?
None.
The destruction of Chad and Sophia's fairytale marriage?
Access Hollywood.
That adorable kid?
Nobody. He might never work in TV again after this show....

But it's all good!


A town where fashion designers, teen pop stars, NBA players, tv anchors, coke-addicted recovering models, award winning novelists, and movie directors all co-esist like you and me?
None, well this is beginning to sound a little like THE O.C., but those kids never left high school.

So naturally, you understand why there is only One Tree Hill? I rest my case. I have literally grown up with PeyPey, Luke, Natey, Hales, and B.Davis, as well as Mouth (he's like the fifth Beatle). Their challenges might be a little more extreme, but their coming of age story is totally relate-able. See you Jan 11th for the beginning of the end!

I'm not the only one who owes OTH a debt of gratitude for the way it's changed my life. Read this great article for another fan's take!

A Note: Are the TV Execs on Crack?

I'm concerned about the swirling rumors that Cougartown can't find a time slot for its winter return on ABC (yeah, because shows like shark tank offer so much more to us as a culture), and there's a petition going around to save Community from ending. Say what???? These are two of the best multi-cast friend-group comedies around and they can't find spots for them? Check yourself before you wreck yourself. If anyone has some ideas about what to send the networks (a la Roswell and Tabasco sauce), let me know. I'm thinking penny cans and pencils?????