Cop Fridays: Riverdale's 'Sins of the Father' with a Dark Millennial Twist

     First of all, Riverdale is a very spooky town. It's reminiscent of the 90's, a classic, timeless small town where everyone's parents went to school together. This is an increasingly important part of the plot. I love the relationships between the teens, but their parents have some uncomfortable history, See below) and everyone knows everyone's business. It could easily be Forks, Washington (Twilight) or the elusive but about to return) Twin Peaks, Washington. It's definitely in the pacific northwest because these pasty kids need some sunlight. Even on the sunny July 4th of Jason Blossom's disappearance, a slow fog and chill linger by the river.

     It's Jason's mysterious disappearance and eventual murder that kick up unrest in the town. Sheriff Keller is doing his best with his murder board, but he is out of his depth. Somehow teens Betty Cooper and 'Jughead' Jones (why the name?) are lapping him on mystery solving. All-American gal Betty (Lili Reinhart)  has a stake in the matter. Her sister Polly was dumped abruptly by Jason and sent away for a supposed breakdown. Of course, we discover Polly was sent away like it's 1960 because she's  pregnant with Jason's child. To briefly unpack this Romeo and Juliet scene, The Coopers are tightly wound investigative journalists (at the last non-online newspaper on earth) and the blossoms are old money rich from their maple syrup company. Back int he days of their great grandparents, Mr. Cooper and Mr. Blossom had a falling out and now they must never be friendly! Meanwhile Mrs. Cooper (Madchen Amick, formerly of Twin peaks) manipulates Betty, trying to keep her from crossing over to some unknown dark side.  We saw flashes when she dressed like a hooker and tried to boil the football captain in a hot tub. Betty just wants everyone to get along, but her Scooby gang hi-jinks have been bringing her closer to danger.

     Speaking of danger, Betty's new boyfriend and longtime friend Jughead (Cole Sprouse) is from the wrong side of the tracks.  His dad is an unemployed alcoholic and his mom ran off with his little sister. He spent time living and working at the drive in before it was sold to a mysterious buyer. Now poor Juggy has found some solace. His best pal Archie's dad invited him to crash with them, and Jughead seems to have found stability. His poetic lamenting is a bit much for me, it's goth Dawson-esque and not at all attractive. I wonder why people are friends with him, but I guess he's there to lend an ear. This week, Betty (the less damaged version of Joey Potter) threatened  Jughead's happiness by throwing a party for his birthday, which was crashed by the whole school. She also invited his dad, and in a very un-Dawson like matter, they did not come back together and wipe each other's tears away. Another important note about Jughead's dad (Skeet Ulrich) is that he;s the president of a rough and tumble biker gang, the Southside Serpents. This might have led to his wife taking off. The serpents are responsible for several unseemly things in town, shaking down people for payments, and  possible gay bashing. When the party broke up, Mr. Jones leered at Mrs. Cooper, suggesting they had a thing back in high school. This was too disgusting for words because THEIR KIDS ARE DATING!

     Let's get back to the murder at hand. My first guess was that Jason was murdered by his twin sister, Cheryl Blossom (Madelaine Petsch). Cheryl is the typical rich girl, cheer captain, queen Bee, and resident town insultress. But Cheryl has a soft spot for her twin. She was too attached to him from the first minute. The pair went out or an early morning boat row and he alleged downed trying to pull her glove put of the current. This was a lie. Cheryl (like mean girl Abby on Dawson) was covering for Jason so he could run away with Polly. His parents are typically cold and distant, but their grandmother supposed Jason and Polly's romance, offering him her engagement ring. But she had no idea about the baby. Polly explained to her sister that she went to Jason and he never showed up, she thought he chickened out. So we're thinking Cheryl is very sweet, helping her brother sneak off with his forbidden love. I (of the dark mistrust) intermediately thought Cheryl was jealous of Polly and murdered Jason so nobody could have him. At the party this week, a dangerous game of truth or dare led Veronica to accuse Cheryl of twincest. I completely agree with this theory, but it seems a bit too obvious when the characters confirm it.

     As the new girl in town, Veronica Lodge (Camila Mendes) has her own secrets. The New Yorker (Jen Linley much?)  in a small town shifts back and forth between rivals and friends with Cheryl, and instantly bonds with Betty. The tow are ironically known as fighting over football star Archie Andrews, but here it seems like their girl-mance is more important. Betty was classically in love with Archie, confessing to him after he kissed veronica at a party. Brokenhearted Betty finally moved on, and Archie seems to be "totes kewl" with his two best friends dating. Is yesterday's episode, the house party for Jughead's birthday ended with Archie (KJ Apa's) and Veronica's less than innocent sleepover. This came on the heels of Archie being dumped by Valerie. As much chemistry as the pair have together, their relationship is very icky because their parents used to date, and may be dating again The pair recently started working together and were caught making out several times. This is truly a Riverdale scandal because Mr. Andrews (Luke Perry) is still married (the estranged wife moved to Chicago) and Mrs. Lodge's husband is in jail for a Madoff-like scene. Then Mrs. Lodge got the movie theater land for the Lodge company (on the D.L) and fired Andrews's construction group to run the demolition. There are at least 10 major laws broken in this business deal. It's possible Jason's death is tied to Mr. Bloom bringing down Hiram 'Daddy' Loge's company, but it's too soon to tell.

     Finally, let's discuss Archie, the golden boy of town. He became the new quarterback when Jason Bloom died. Let's hold out horses, I don't think Archie had anything to do with the murder, but he certainly hindered the investigation. Archie was busy banging his music teacher (eww, please teens and teachers should not be having affairs because its icky)  in the woods on the morning Jason was shot. It took some time to tease it out, but everyone found out about Archie and Miss Grundy (Pacey), and Miss Grundy was sent packing. Archie  seems despite his misguided love interest, to be a nice kid. I still am a little surprised that all the girls are throwing themselves at him. In the span of a few weeks, it's been Betty, Miss Grundy, Veronica, Miss Grundy again, Valerie and Cheryl. They are all trying to get in his pants. Only one has succeeded, as it looks like Archie and Veronica made out and slept in separate beds. This poor kid is still reeling from his parent's split, but he may soon get some closure. The last moment of the episode ended with Archie's dad coming back from Chicago with his mom, played by Miss Molly Ringwald.

*The parental relationships are a new level on this show. Usually  on a teen drama, there's a few parents and some sort of love triangle or a couple going through a difficult time. Now we're seeing tons of the generation X drama, which I love. I want to see the parents and their relationships and work drama,  but it just seems like a toxic level of towncest here. I wrote myself a note that said: This town is full of creepy creeping. The level of rivalries and incest present in the parental generation of the town downright revolting.




http://www.telegraph.co.uk/tv/2017/03/23/teen-drama-tv-darker-ever/

Scandal: I Choose Jam in Vermont

President Fitz and Olivia Pope
Image from Easymemes.com

     I am always in favor of a bizarre alternate reality episode of my favorite shows. Tonight's 100th episode of Scandal delivered  a great sideways reality. This is one of those episodes where all of the characters made different choices, but still end up coming back to the same situations.  We begin with Olivia (Kerry Washington) and Fitz (Tony Goldwyn) arguing about what to do with the group that fixed the election. This gang has already been indirectly responsible for the murders of Olivia's dad's girlfriend, some prison guards, President-elect Frankie Vargas (Ricardo Chavira) and his aide Jennifer, and the near-murder of Huck. This group also has manipulated Attorney General David Rosen (Josh Malina), imprisoned VP-elect Cyrus Beene (Jeff Perry), and took whatever was left of White House Chief of Staff Abby Whelan's (Darby Stanchfield) dignity. Fitz wants to take action, to make his ex-wife (the other presidential candidate) Mellie into the next president. Olivia feels conflicted because eight years ago, she helped make Fitz president through lies, deception, and a faulty voting machine in Defiance, Ohio. Oliva thinks back to the night when she and the dream team voted for Fitz's future. Each member of the team was promised something for their contribution. For Mellie (Bellamy Young), it was to be the first lady, and for Olivia (having a secret affair with Fitz), it was a top job in the White House. Cyrus would become the Chief of Staff, and Verna a Supreme Court justice. Finally, the brains of the operation, oil tycoon Hollis Doyle, requested the government grant him favors as needed.

     We go back to 2010, where Olivia turns down the pact to commit voter fraud in Defiance. With this change to the timeline, Fitz loses the presidency and leaves Mellie to be with Olivia. The two are happy, marrying in a beautiful ceremony a few months later. A blushing Olivia is given away by Huck, her less socially evolved co-worker. Maid of Honor Abby makes eyes at David Rosen, and it seems like they might have an honest shot at a relationship in this world. Olivia jumps into lobbying for gun reform with Marcus and Abby  in what I suppose is a less sophisticated version of Pope and Associates in a dingy storefront.

Mellie Grant- Paste Magazine Meme

     Meanwhile, Mellie wallows and commiserates with Cyrus, who marries her to further both of their careers.  Cyrus eventually gets the idea to make Mellie run for president in the next election, but once again, it seems like he's pushing a candidate to fuel his own need for power. Did Mellie really not realize Cyrus was in love with men, or was she choosing again to look the other way? In this reality, Cyrus and James did not get married and Cyrus stayed in the closet. It's upsetting, but at least James wasn't murdered by B-613 in this reality. Speaking of those lovable secret ops, Olivia's dad (aka "Command") seems to still be in charge of the organization, but he's not ordering tons of murders in this timeline. Because Olivia is not close to the White House, her dad never came back into her life. He watches the wedding from the back of the church. Speaking of murders (which we always speak of when it comes to this show), Quinn never had to become Quinn. Since her boyfriend didn't work at the company of the voter rigging software, the building didn't blow up, and Lindsay was never wrongly blamed for the explosion. She didn't need an alternate identity or to start life over in D.C., so she makes the rounds of celebrity dating shows. I loved this twist the most!

     Instead of talking about moving to Vermont and making jam, Fitz and Olivia falter. The two had nothing to overcome except Mellie's vitriol. Still, their love wasn't smooth sailing. Olivia was still  wrapped up in her work, and Fitz was still a bit checked out, looking for the next thing. He almost got together with slutty Quinn/Lindsay (Katie Lowes)!  As the preeminent political talk show host (no Liberty report in this reality), he lacked the sexy power and authority of the president. Poor Olivia had no friends in the White House and waited all day to get a meeting with President Reston, only to be told her bill was going nowhere and their meeting was a mistake. In the end, Mellie still came to Olivia about her campaign. In this reality, there is no baby Teddy Grant, no audio of the President bedding someone in the office,  and no sniper murder of Fitz and Mellie's eldest son/brother? (still not clear), Jerry III. There is also no Olivia/Fitz /Jake love triangle. Fitz never had Jake NSA-style spy on Olivia because they are actually together. With him not being president,t there's also a lot less shady stuff (kidnapped by the VP) going on around the gang. So did Olivia and Fitz have kids? No, not yet. By the end, they agreed to buy a townhouse together in an attempt to really make their lives together as one.

     The episode ends with Olivia having a weird flashback face. She goes up to Fitz and say "I'm in." Is she in for their future? Is she in to make Mellie the next president? Is she in to bring down the organization that has even  her own menacing father scared? Is she in for a double Gettysburger? Maybe it's all of the above.

The ACM Awards: Like the High School of Country Music

Imgur GIF from "Not Another Teen Movie" 

   Sometimes the adult world feels a lot like high school. Award shows are no exception to this rule. Tonight we're exploring the stars of the Academy of Country Music Awards (ACMs) and comparing them to characters from teen shows and movies. Get those tropes ready, we're going to see them in full force. Consult the below dictionary for you favorite country star. * These titles are all bestowed with Love!


Brett Eldredge
A true showman who, will run rhoguh the audience and serenade showgirls during his song.  Brett has the soulful eyes of a heart breaker and the deep emotions of a guy that will do anything for love. Character: Patrick  (Heath Ledger) from 10 Things I Hate About You

Brothers Osborne
I love brothers Osborne. They have a great album of songs that are great for chilling, like Rum. They have a great band energy as well because they're brothers. I'm bestowing on them a double teen movie honor: best bad comprised of the same guys in multiple movies. In Can't Hardly Wait, both Breckin Meyer and Donald Faison are in the band playing at the big party. In Josie and the Pussycats, the same two are in the boy band DuJour, along with CHW cast member Seth Green. I love that there is an unofficial band reunion for these guys in multiple movies!

Carrie Underwood
Carrie is one of America's literal idols. She sings sweetly, but if you get on her bad side, she's going to bash in your car (Before He Cheats) or possible murder you with poison (Church Bells). Part of me really wanted to bring Carrie together with vengeance demon Anya (Emma Caufield) from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I considered it again, and Anya starts out as a villain and becomes endearing to the audience (fear of bunnies and all). But Carrie is on another level, so I have selected Rebecca Bunch from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Rachel Bloom's Rebecca charms us with every song she sings, even if she's plotting unspeakable revenge. She says, "She's just a girl in love and can't be held responsible for her actions, (faking a pregnancy, faking a break-in, faking a relationship)  and the creepy Josh drawer that played The Entertainer.

Darius Rucker
I feel like Darius Rucker is the cool teacher in this scenario for a variety of reasons. He already had his first career as a touring pop band vocalist, then reinvented himself as a country star. Since then, he has won Grammys and become one of the most active members of the Grand Old Opry. His teacher spirit would be like Mr. Turner (Anthony Tyler Quinn) on Boy Meets World.

Dierks Bentley
He's always up for helping out a buddy. Dierks performed his own song, sang with Cole Swindell and co-hosted the show with Luke Bryan. When does this guy sleep? When he's not getting Drunk on a Plane, Bentley is serenading his wife Katie in the sultry song Black. Dierks is a lot like Lucas Scott in One Tree Hill, a jack of all trades. Chad Michael Murray's Lucas plays varsity basketball, writes a novel, helps his mom run a cafe and later also a music venue, and manages to be everyone's best friend before gradating Tree Hill High.

Faith Hill and Tim McGraw
They just put a new duet out this week, and they've been been married for 21 years. The McGraw-Hill group's (publishing joke) idea of a good family adventure is going out on tour for a year together. These two are just like Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) and Sloane Peterson (Mia Sara) from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Kelsea Ballerini
The girl next door that's starting to show her true feelings. Ballerini is the female vocalist of the year! Her cute and flirty songs like Dibs and  Yeah Boy reminds me of  Joey Potter ( Katie Holmes) singing All By Myself, knowing that she has feelings for Pacey on Dawson's Creek.

Jason Aldean
He's quite the opposite on stage from the persona in his party anthems. Aldean is a sensitive soul buried under a scowl and a wounded soul. He is the essence of the Friday Night Lights troubled footballer Tim Riggins (Taylor Kitsch), who falls in love with his paralyzed best friend's girlfriend.

Keith Urban 
As an Aussie, I would love to put Urban in the "cool foreign guy" category, but I would probably have to go back to Saved by the Bell to find a cool foreign guy. Scratch that, Screech once pretended to be a Russian chess player, so this category is not going to work. I think Urban is best suited as the cool actor guy, like Josh Duhmael's Tad in Win a Date with Tad Hamilton. As soon as he shows up in a small town, all the girls are falling over him.

Kacey Musgraves
Mentioned for her nomination, but not shown during the show, Kacey is no stranger to being an outcast. She last won an ACM in 2014 for best album, The also nabbed countless wards and a Best New artist Grammy. Musgraves has lost a lot of radio support for just being herself. I love her desire not to be part of The Old Boy's Club and she has earned the title of Veronica Mars. Kristen Bell's likable loner was misunderstood by her peers, but she solved more mysteries than the town sheriff's department and she always got the last laugh.

Florida Georgia Line
FGL 's Tyler and Brian represent the bro-iest bros around. But they're definitely the little brother  in this situation looking for some camaraderie with their older brothers. FGL and the Backstreet Boys united together for their new single God, Your Mama and Me, then brought down the house with Backstreet's Back. Stay tuned this week for my review of #BSBVegas, because it was epic. I'm going to honor this southern brotherhood with the Brothers of Kappa Tau (honorable mention to Scott Michael Foster as leader Cappie) on the show Greek.

Little Big Town
This band represents the  rock-solid couple from freshman year. They are as sweet to each other as they are to everyone around them. They even show up in coordinated outfits, which looks great in their Group of the Year winner photo. I'm going to give them Murray (Donald Faison) and Dionne (Stacey Dash) from Clueless, minus the fighting.

Luke Bryan
Bryan is the All-American boy. He can sing, dance, host, cry, laugh, and pose with a Chippendale dancer all in the same night. Luke is well liked, but she is completely approachable. He has a huge heart, looking after his orphaned nieces and nephew. Luke is like Freddie Prinze Jr.'s Zack in She's All That. Everyone loves Zack as the soccer team captain, head of the class and student body president. He can look past the shy girl and see the hotness beneath. As a bonus, Zack's hackey sac performance art reminds me of Bryan's recent soul-bearing Tonight Show song about how to pronounce  the Greek delicacy Gyro.

Maren Morris
This girl's got edge, and I'm not just talking about her Joan Jett-inspired wavy bob and nose ring. He breakout single last year My Church likened Johnny Cash to a spiritual awakening. Her most recent hit 80's Merdeces is light and breezy. I think Morris is best repented by Oscar Winner Emma Stone's Olive in Easy A. She may seem pretty tough on the outside, but she's just a bit misunderstood and she runs with it.

Miranda Lambert
This album of the year winner wrote a double album about her divorce, titled "The Heart" and "The Nerve." She's no stranger to falling apart (Mama's Broken Heart, Vice), and she's trying to dig herself our of a hole from a very messy public divorce from Blake Shelton. She's a dark horse, a Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) in Gossip Girl. Stay on her good side, or you might find your house doused in Kerosene.

Old Dominion
Their addictive hit from last spring Break Up with Him was Back to the Future themed! This is just another teen drama fact. I'm going to classify these guys as Josie and the Pussycats (movie version) because they are always checking pop culture and other music in their songs, like in Song for Another Time.

Reba
Reba is the fairy godmother of country music. She looks down on everyone offering motherly advice, and now she sings gospel songs. I'm going to credit Reba as the wise Iona, played by Annie Potts in Pretty in Pink. Iona offered Andie guidance while she tried to work out her feelings for Blaine, although she should have stepped in when Andie created that monstrous pink prom dress.

Sam Hunt
Mr. Hunt has become well known for his sexy sing/talk mix, called "sam hunting" by some radio DJ's. He wrote an album of  breakup songs about a girl, and now they're engaged. Tonight during his Body Like a Back Road, Hunt sat in the audience with his arm around Hanna Lee, serenading her as he described how well he knew her curves. Hunt is totally Dan Humphrey (Penn Bagley, aka Gossip Girl), who pines after Serena van der Woodsen for years. While publicly pursing Serena, Dan  almost destroys the lives of all their friends and family on their way to eventual marriage.

Taylor Swift
She's not at the awards in person tonight, but it's like she almost was there. She's like that girl that moved away to another school that you still think about. Even though she's off in a new scene, she's still sending songs like "Better Man" to Little Big Town, cinching their Group of the Year award win. I would say she is similar to Amy Jo Johnson's character Julie on Felicity. She became friends with Felicity, made the Felicity-Ben-Noel triangle into a rhombus, wrote some songs, and then split before college was over.

Thomas Rhett
This guy doesn't do anything halfway. He set the world record for largest twister game for the release of his 2015 Tangled Up album.  He sings that he would die a happy man just holding his wife Lauren's hand, then he announces his wife is having a baby and they're adopting a child from Africa. This family has been taken to another level! Rhett is the ultimate romantic, which is why he is the boombox guy,  Lloyd Dobbler (John Cusack) from Say Anything.

Cop Fridays 7: Maggie Q is Literally Saving America on Designated Survivor

     Let's all give a round of applause to poor President Tom Kirkman (Keifer Sutherland). He was about to be kicked out of the presidential cabinet as HUD Secretary and as an afterthought had to sit in a bunker during the State of the Union address as ABC's Designated Survivor. Then a major bombing of Washington's lawmakers left him in charge of running the country. I agree that Kirkman is a pretty chill leader, wanting to hear all theories about the Capitol bombing before weighing in.  Of course, he's a bit gullible. He believed Congressman Peter MacLeish (Ashley Zukerman) was a war hero and a survivor of the attack. Of course that was a facade. In reality,  MacLeish was one of the major players in the attack. He purposely excused himself to a secret bomb shelter, coming out the only survivor of the address. This resulted in MacLeish's confirmation as the new VP, despite questions about his "impeccable" army service. The designated congresswoman, Ms. Hookstratten (Virginia Marsden), smelled a rat, but was forced to approve him through due to lack of evidence. In the end, MacLeish's wife shot him and killed herself to keep their secret. The MacLeishes were so committed to their cause that they were only rattled by the digging of an FBI agent.

      I give Kirkman, his right hand lady Emily Rhodes (Italia Ricci), and new Press Secretary Seth Wright (Kal Penn) a lot of credit for managing the re-creation of the union. Kirkman remarked this week, "I need to to focus on government." They jumped in and ran with it, but they're lacking when it comes to figuring out the true reason for the capitol bombing. A terrorist group claimed responsibility, but the bomb material didn't match up. This important distinction was discovered by the unsung hero of the show, FBI Agent Hannah Wells (Maggie Q). While she is crazily acting like the lone member of the FBI to solve this case, it's justified.  It's amusing to see Ms. Q finally working for the government again, and both sides being good. As the lead of the CW's Nikkita, Ms. Q kicked ass and took names as she brought a government assassin ring to justice. This time, she's still investigating government conspiracies for the government.

     Agent Wells had to clear her name a number of times, but she kept searching for justice. It could be a drinking game how often she is in trouble.* Wells was arrested for shooting at President Kirkman's sniper, which confused the law enforcement into thinking she was involved in the hit. She most notably was suspended from her duties for aiding the arrested FBI Director Atwood. Atwood was blackmailed into murdering the terrorist leader (allegedly responsible for the attack) in custody after his son was kidnapped. The young Atwood boy's body was devastatingly returned to his father in a recent episode, and  Hannah was there to comfort the director. She gently reminded him that committing  murder of a known terrorist was a good thing. This week, Wells questioned new Chief of Staff Aaron about his involvement in leaking confidential Capitol plans to aid in the building of MacLeish's bomb shelter. She chased leads through rural Virginia and shot at the former Chief of Staff (still alive!), which looked bad on her resume. Agent Wells got into a car accident on the way to testify in front of the congressional committee, and  sewed up her own wounds with the assistance of a FBI friend. She is one tough chick, but there's a deeper story. In the pilot, Hannah searched for a survivor of the attack, her unnamed married senator boyfriend. I want to know more about this relationship, but it sounds like it's going to the back burner as the police works heats up.

     As we head into the last few episodes of the season, Wells's work is only doubling. She recently connected with the President in his hospital room to spill the beans on MacLeish, and they're now best friends. Wells has been granted carte blanche status to get to the bottom of the Capitol conspiracy. A new layer of the problem has been revealed by the former chief of staff. Someone specifically ordered Kirkman to be the designated survivor before the attack. This reason goes beyond trying to fire him from the cabinet. As the newest pawn in this scene, Kirkman granted Agent wells to be a one-woman Hawaii-5-0 police force, reporting only to him. Now Wells can legally participate in CIA-crazy spy techniques and shoot at people to get to the bottom of this. It's the same thing she was doing before, but with a lot less getting arrested.


* If you're playing this drinking game, also drink when President Kirkman adjusts or removes his glasses. I thought in the first few episodes they were some sort of covert listening device because there seemed to be too much focus on them. 

Drew Barrymore Pens A New Delightful Celebrity Memoir

Image from Celbzz
I would do this if I had a memoir!

     My name is Kelly and I love reading celebrity memoirs! Since the beginning of 2017, I have already sailed through three. I enjoyed delectable presents from my book club bestie including  TGIT Shonda Rhimes's  Year of Yes and Glee star Naya Rivera's Sorry Not Sorry.

     I chose a book for  my recent trip based on my current TV binge. I finished watching Netflix's The Santa Clarita Diet and 90's fan girl-ed out over how much I adore Drew Barrymore. Her Fall 2015 book Wildflower is full of interesting stories that kept me turning pages. I can't stop laughing about her RV trip with Nancy Fallon where they drove the vehicle into the roof a gas station in a rough part of New Orleans.There's lots of great moments Drew from her learning how to be a mom, to a survivalist  trip with the Charlie's Angels girls. Barrymore reflects on her unusual childhood, famous relatives and and teenage addiction with poise and patience.GRADE: A