T.Swiz: A Study in Literal vs. Figurative Storytelling

     I just heard Taylor Swift's newest catchy single, New Romantics on the radio for the first time! I had some time to reflect in the car about how Ms. Swift's recent music videos have portrayed her epic songs. While older and typically country favorites like Love Story (a classic and literal "Romeo meets Juliet" at the ball theme) and You Belong With Me (pitting band geek Taylor against cheerleader Taylor), things from the 1989 album have taken storytelling up a notch. These are not just music videos, these are mini-movies in some cases and true works of art.

Shake it Off
LITERAL: This song sounds like it appears on  the screen. SIO is a big, fun dance party with a pounding brass line. Taylor appears as a ballerina awkwardly pirouetting, an Adidas jumpsuit-  wearing rapper, and her regular self in a cute black crop top and leggings (think Audrey Hepburn). What to all of these scenes have in common? Dancing and having a good time, which is really the whole point of the song. Yes, the haters are gonna hate, but let it go and dance your troubles away! Grade A

Blank Space
LITERAL: Taylor is in a mansion full of wonders (Unicorns), ornate hedges, long dinner tables, and her couture wardrobe is to die for. She invites a gentleman over to visit, and they enjoy long walks, horseback riding, dancing in a grand empty ballroom, riding bikes, picnics, and other sorts of "falling in Love" vignettes. I personally love the long list of ex-lovers, signified by a hallway of oil painting and Taylor is shown straightening out her newest portrait. Then begins "screaming, crying, a perfect storm," and the tables turn. Word to the wise, do not cross Taylor, she may drop you phone in a pond or cut holes in your shirts.
GRADE A+

Style
FIGURATIVE:  There's a cute guy, as always. He's having late night fever dreams about Taylor, remembering her at the beach, her with bare shoulders exposed (scandalous)! White t-shirt, check. Red lips, check. Driving in a car, check. James Dean-ish looking guy, check. Still , this story is largely experimental and has an 80's vibe. Lots of fade-ins and fade outs, mirrors, white billowing curtains with projected images, a lot of real artsy things. Also, this song was alleged to be written about Harry Styles (momentary EWWW).
GRADE B-

Bad Blood
IS FIGURATAL  a word? This song is remixed with Kendrick Lamar for the music video version, so let it be said I prefer the album cut of the song much better. The song poses Taylor as a movie-style action star kicking ass and taking names as she assembled a squad (mostly a whose who of models) to have a girl gang fight in a post-apocalyptic wasteland This may not be what actually caused bad blood (alleged with Katy Perry over as backup dancer)  but is certainly espouses the sentiment. Kendrick raps and plays some sort of Charlie's-angels-esque boss. Please also enjoy Tina Fey and Amy Pohler's SNL spoof about their own squad.
GRADE C+

Wildest Dreams
FIGURATIVE: Here, Taylor plays a movie star (with deep brown locks) with a "handsome as hell" co-star in a Casablanca-like desert setting. They have chemistry during filming and off-screen a steamy affair ensues,Of course, he appears at the movie premiere with his wife and Taylor is heartbroken. She leaves the premiere and he chases after her car, but it's too too late to change her mind. She catches him in the rear view mirror.  Does anyone remember Britney's Lucky? Something about this video reminded me of that. It also reminded me of the surprise ending of Dido's White Flag music video.
GRADE B+

Out of the Woods
FIGURATIVE: This song says "Are we out of the woods?" repeatedly, but the woods themselves are a construct, a state of mind, something only temporary,. Therefore, Taylor clawing her way out of muddy woods, getting chased by wolves, trapped in the snow in a flimsy dress with more wolves, etc... is the most figurative explanation of this story. The last words of the video: "She lost everything, but she found herself, and somehow that was everything" really drive this point home. It's all about the journey. A relationship, which may be terrible, can yield something positive. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
GRADE B

Gladiators in Dirty White Hats

"We're all bad people. That's the only thing we have in common."

-Bonnie (How to Get Away with Murder)

      I borrowed this quote from last night's HTGAM, but it very accurately relates to fellow Shondaland lead-in, Scandal. In tonight's episode, The Fish Rots From the Head, the distinct lack of conscience among the cast becomes blatantly obvious. Scandal has spent a long time diving into government conspiracies, election rigging, campaigns, secret spy organizations, and the inner workings of the White House. But this week, Olivia (Kerry Washington) and OP Associates have gone back to a good old fashioned fixing. It's a crime scene cover-up. At first glace, it looks like a prostitute OD's on drugs at a swanky hotel party with the secret service. On second, thought it could be murder, or at least manslaughter. What will the team do? 

     At this point, one must begin to wonder, does anyone on the show have a shred of morals, or do they all live in a gray area. First of all, President Fitzgerald Grant (Tony Goldwyn) is spiraling after his breakup with Olivia. He cares little about policy and spends his time bedding any journalist he can get his secret service to bring up to his residence. The secret service, meanwhile, is having parties with hookers. No big deal, right? At the heart of this conflict is Abby. Poor Abby wanted to be the press secretary, but she didn't know her job would include NDAs and phone holding for the president's floozies. Now she has now become the moral center of the show, but perhaps just until this week's episode is over.

     Olivia can't be bothered with the cases because she's still spiraling from the breakup with the president and her secret abortion, and her recent secret trysts with Scott Foley's Capt. Jake Ballard. Important to note here, Jake killed a bunch of people to get the President to name him the head of the NSA. Olivia is very bothered by this for obvious reasons and stalks jake when they're not having secret boots calls. After all, Jake is the same guy a few years back who was using all sort of spying equipment on Olivia before they fell for each other. Now he is the top government spy! Who can change this situation? Abby snaps Olivia back to reality during a Jake stakeout. Finally the OPA group figures out the real story  about the secret service and they seem to be a hair more moral than before (it's been a while since Huck killed anyone).) Olivia plans to bring the secret service to justice by going to speak to Fitz about his and their behavior and the bad culture he has set up for the ss. Then, just to make things even more odd, Olivia invites herself over to her father's house to see Jake, only to meet Jake's brand new fiancee, who he has only been out with 9 times.

     Senator Mellie Grant (aka Lady MacBeth in Louboutins, Bellamy Young) takes her son (Teddy, a.k.a. America's baby) to visit  his daddy in the hopes of getting his support for her campaign to be the Republican party front runner in the presidential primary. She breezes in with kisses, hugs and mushy family stuff (clearly not your typical Mellie) ans after spying one of the journalists in a robe, hugs Fitz and tells him to keep his whores away from the children, then delightfully escorts little Teddy out of the residency.  For those of us that's can't think of anything weirder than Mellie and Olivia getting along, they're actually becoming friends. Yes, they drink wine and lament about their past experiences (but  they never mention their vote rigging scandal that first got Fitz elected).

     On the other side, VP Susan Ross (Artemis Pebdani) does not want the President's approval because she knows he is complete scum. Susan's boyfriend, Attorney general David Rosen (Josh Malina) tries to convince her to get the approval anyway. He only is doing this because his secret other girlfriend Elizabeth North (Portia de Rossi) happens to be running Susan's campaign and she's another particular type of shrew. Speaking of shrews, how could we leave out Cyrus Beene? He is the true Macbeth of this show,with no scruples as far back as the election fixing scandal. He has killed (even if its not with his hands) many people, all int eh name of protecting America and Fitz. He has been cast out several times by Fitz, and despite being chief of staff, his power hunger has him looking for the next great candidate after being turned down by Mellie and Susan to run their campaigns.  He recently sent a shooter to the Pennsylvania state capitol so the governor (Francisco Vargas, played by Ricardo Chavras) could come out a hero. this week, Cyrus got the governor to run (even though the poor man has a child battling cancer) by telling a story about his fake disabled brother. Remember, Cyrus is the guy who was caught with a male gay prostitute and married him to keep up appearances.

     In summation, the fish rotted from Fitz's poor actions. But really, this fish was split open the moment Olivia, Mellie, Cyrus and other came in to fix Fitz's first election. All of the scandals are built on a central lie. Then there's the whole secret government group B-613 issue, which has caused a lot of drama (Mama Pope!). Scandal breeds scandal, and everyone  has added their own misdeeds to the fire, and it's going to combust.  #'Merica

New Girls Turns 100!

     Thank the baby cheeses that Jess (Zooey Deschanel) is back to New Girl this week. It's been a long-suffering number of weeks while she was on maternity leave from the show. In the meantime, we were left with Megan Fox playing a new, moody, and temporary roommate Reagan staying in Jess's room. Not a moment too soon, Jess's jury duty has ended for this 100th episode. Jess was part of a sequestered jury. Jess's ex, Nick, likes Reagan and came close to making a real connection with her. I apologize if you like Meagan Fox, but I really have a low tolerance for her. She always looks distressed in some way. This character was only staying in the loft for a month. Nick now has to say goodbye to her and find his "Goosebumps Walkaway", a movie-ending scene stealing quote that is not "Bad Bye."

     Now that Jess is back (and good news, she found the defendant guilty on all four counts and made-up T-shirts proclaiming so), she wants to find a cute juror that she only knows by his jury number (Juror 237B). Reagan agrees to help him, and they begin an adventure that involved Winston pulling police records to learn his name is Gary. Nick is very uncomfortable and full of anxiety that his ex and his new crush  have a) lived in the same room and b) are becoming friendly. Reagan is very uncomfortable with Jess's "Jess-ness," but she admits to having feelings for Schmidt. With Jess's encouragement and valuable,e advice about Nick, Reagan finds her own way to tell Nick she will miss him, and they leave things unresolved by friendly. Jess finds Gary when they both get interviewed by the news about the case. Despite the dark lighting and voice alterations to protect the members of the jury, they share all their personal information to arrange a meetup. At the meeting, they find they have nothing in common, it was all the anticipation of the case.

     Meanwhile, Winston brings Cece and Schmidt to a "dance gathering", where they hope to practice their first dance moves for their wedding. Schmidt admits to being bullied into always learning a dance correctly from an embarrassing childhood talent show. The episode ends with the gang (Jess, Nick, Cece, Schmidt and Winston all purposely free-styling dance moves for "The Hustle." Ah, things finally seem right with the world again.

Fashion: Get Thee to a Seamstress

     I love clothes. I am guilty of lunchtime online daydreaming,  an occasional impulse online order, and of course the well timed "stalk it until it goes on sale" victory shop. This method recently led to a kick-ass deal, an EXPRESS hi-lo hem maxi dress for an upcoming wedding, originally $99.00 and on sale for the low cost of $35.00. I was able to get the dress tailored for a tighter halter neck and raised the hi-lo hem off the floor for the low price of $10.00 for a customized fit! I cannot stress the importance of a good tailoring to a piece of clothing. Two of my most frustrating shopping issues are finding the right fit, and knowing when to hold on to something I love to make it fit better.

A dress with perfectly tailored shoulders.

Double Dips  - Do You Need Two?
     Have you bought two identical pairs of jeans because the first pair was so good and you wanted to keep the "I've got it going on" feeling going? Then you find out they don't fit the same way as that magical first pair and you're devastated? I really hate that! I thought I had finally gotten hip to the idea that if I like something, I should buy two of it.  This has led to double pairs of jeans, polyester dresses, sweaters, teardrop earrings, Pashminas, boat shoes, satin evening shoes (in black, tan and silver), and flip flops. I have not regretted any of these 2nd pairs yet! Back to the jeans issue, I'm not sure why the fit is different for the same size and dye color of items, except they might have been manufactured by a different plant, which is so unfortunate. When in doubt, return the second pair and keep trying then until you get that magic back again, or ask a tailor's opinion if it can be fixed. I still recommend getting something you like in multiple colors (summer shorts can be nice in peach and green or grey khaki).

Dresses and Whole Body Fit
   Also another fashion disaster is the dress that fits perfect on top, but balloons out to make you look ten pounds heavier in the hips. Do not buy this dress! As a petite woman, the bane of my existence and the reason I found an expert seamstress is because tops and dresses that don't fit my shoulders. Who are these frocks being made for, lumberjack women? I have pretty slender shoulders and what I think to be average arms, but I have had multiple jacket arms taken up so I don't look like a three year old playing dress up in my mom's clothes. In another interesting turn, a recent SELF article profiled a woman that tried on the same dress in multiple sizes and she found that some timing going up one size from your "normal" size in a store can solve a host of issues, from tummy area puckering (not classy) to baggy butt areas, which some of my older pairs of work pants seem to fall guilty of this faux pas since I lost weight last year.

Does it Fit?
    My best advice when it comes to fit is that if you really like something in a store and you think a tuck in the spaghetti straps will make it stop falling off you shoulders, go for it. I bought a final sale dress from Loft recently for under $15.00 and took it to my seamstress for tightening in the shoulders and raising the mid-calf hemline, and I couldn't be happier.  The same thing goes for existing pieces. I have saves several dresses and skirts by getting the wait nipped in for a better fit and it feels great to be able to have full use of my hands when I wear a blazer!

Thoughts on the 2016 Oscars

   

OSCAR- The Grouch

     The Host/The Scene:
I don't need to say too much about last night's Oscars ceremony because host Chris Rock really left it all up on the stage.  He said a lot about race, politics, and many other controversial issues. We get it, there was a lack of diversity (read: too much "whiteness") in the nominee section this year. It's been said. Let's move on. Did we need a special black history month presentation from Angela Bassett (ironically at the very end of that month) about the work of comedian Jack Black (you thought it was going to be a tribute to the noticeably absent Will Smith, right?) Probably not. Was it amusing? Sure. Also what was Stacy Dash doing there celebrating black history month, after publicly denouncing the event weeks earlier? All in jest, I guess. Also amusing were the appearances of the movies' real life heroes Joy Mangano and Michael Rezendes, and the fake appearance of real-life Straight Outta Compton star,  Suge Knight,  who is currently serving prison time.

Wins and Losses:
     Leonardo DiCaprio finally got an award for best actor for his role in The Revenant (Like Castaway with a bear instead of a volleyball). Congrats to Leo for carrying the story and finally being King of the World, but this movie leaves me very uninterested. I think it's still going to be a pass.  Also a justly deserved win to the one woman show, Room and Best Actress Brie Larsen. She also carried her film as a mother of a young boy trapped in captivity with her son, who has a child by her captor.  For supporting roles, Alicia Vikander was Best Supporting actress for The Dutch Girl, and a total surprise was Best Supporting actor  Mark Ryland for Bridge of Spies. Miss Vikander also exposed a surprise. She was seen kissing, and is apparently is apparently dating Michael Fassbender, who received a smooch from Vikander before she accepted her award.  The most upset-wotrhy event of the night (in my opinion) were all of the technical wins for Mad Max: Fury Road.  Another shocker only three of the songs for best original song were performed. I was told that the other songs were from lesser known movies and short films, so I guess they went with the big numbers and acts (Lady Gaga, The Weekend, and Winner Sam Smith). Also a winner on Sunday was Oprah, who wasn't even there but got a though out on twitter after someone mistakenly tagged a picture of Whoppi Goldberg as the legendary miss o.

     The biggest win of the night was Matt Damon, who lost at the Oscars, but snuck onto the stage of Jimmy Kimmel's after Oscars Special, riding shotgun in Ben Affleck's sweater. Damon is famously bumped for time at the end of each Kimmel episode, and has notable appearances including a show a takeover where he tied Jimmy to a chair and hosted the show.

Fashion: My Loves
Priyanka Chopra - white dress from Zuhair Murad
Margot Robbie - gold dress from Tom Ford 
Jennifer Garner - black dress from Atelier Versace
Alicia Vikander - yellow dress from Louis Vuitton
Brie Larsen - blue dress from Gucci 
Rachel McAdams - green dress from August Getty Atelier
Charlize Theron - red dress from Dior
Tina Fey              -purple dress from ????
I also liked Reese Witherspoon's similar purple dress from Oscar de La Renta, but Tina was just working hers a little better. I think it had a bit more of a form-fitting shape.