She's A Dominatrix Supermodel Beauty Queen

     Just over 16 years ago, boy band O-Town brought out one of their most remembered hits, Liquid Dreams. This song was a bouncing ditty about the "perfect woman," made up of the best physical characteristics (and Halle Berry's personality). At a teenager's listening, it's a catchy pop song. At an adult woman's listening the song is kinda offensive, reducing us down to our physical appearances. The song lyrics follow below. I assembled images from magazines to create this woman, and I am revealing it to the world now. I think all of these parts would make one very odd looking woman. Ideal maybe, but not real. Let's all take 2017 to appreciate our own unique beauty. Let me know what you think of her look...

Posters of (Jennifer) Love surrounding me, lost in the world of fantasy.
Every night she comes to me and gives me all the love I need.
Now this hot girl, she's not your average girl
She's a morpharotic dream from a magazine.
And she's so fine, designed to blow your mind.
She's a dominatrix supermodel beauty queen!

I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child,
Just a little touch Madonna's wild style,
With Janet Jackson's smile. Throw in a body like Jennifer's,
You've got the star of my liquid dreams.

Angelina Jolie's lips to kiss in the dark,
Underneath Cindy C's beauty mark.
When it comes to the test, well Tyra's the best.
And Salma Hayek brings the rest.

Now this hot girl, she's not your average girl.
She's a morpharotic dream from a magazine.
And she's so fine, designed to blow your mind.
She's a dominatrix supermodel beauty queen!

I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child,
Just a little touch Madonna's wild style,
With Janet Jackson's smile. Throw in a body like Jennifer's,
You've got the star of my liquid dreams.

Looks ain't everything, she's got the sweetest personality,
Like Halle B.
My mama thinks I'm lazy, my friend all think I'm crazy,
But in my mind, I leave the world behind... every night I dream.

Liquid Dreams, my Liquid Dreams
Waterfall and streams, these liquid dreams...

I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child,
Just a little touch Madonna's wild style,
With Janet Jackson's smile. Throw in a body like Jennifer's,
You've got the star of my liquid dreams, my liquid dreams.

SPOTTED: Nicktoons Take Over Story NYC

My 90's Nicktoons T-shirt (c) PipPepPop

     I'm bringing the 90's back! A few weeks ago, we officially celebrated the 25th birthday of the Nicktoons. These cartoons^ were a 90's staple on a growing network dedicated solely to kids. In that spirit, NYC's coolest store/gallery/startup Story launched their "Remember When" collection in August. It runs through September 18th! Definitely take a chance and come see it! I had a great time there.

More About Nicktoons:
     These animated shows were an important part of my friends'  after school and weekend viewing. Plus, they were shown on a cable network dedicated solely to kids! The Nickelodeon network began in 1977  under the name Pinwheel to show programs to kids ages 8-17. The Nicktoon cartoons were sometime about regular kids trying to make sense of growing up. Some shows were about as my calls them "sweaty animals." But they all made us think in new ways and gave us lifelong memories such as Ren & Stimpy's "log" song and Tommy Pickles' quest to meet a King Kong-like Reptar. If you can't stop rehashing the days of Nicktoons, check out EW.com's 25th anniversary oral history of Nicktoons.

The Store- (c)PipPepPop

 More about Story

     If you want to "Remember When," story is the place for you. The store looped some of coolest tunes (the Cardigans, the Wallflowers and the Spice Girls).  Check out my snaps from the store to see more. The airy space is set up a bit like a school with post-it style noted printed on the walls with more information.  Fun zones include a school themed set of desks and lockers, a locker room area, and tables of some of the coolest 90's gear around. The collection is primarily curated with Nicktoon characters (everything from flip flops to jumpsuits to coasters). But, there some great 90's books and materials out there. Have you wanted a slap bracelet or a Seinfeld coin purse? They're all here. I left with a way-cool Sweet Valley High covered  notebook.  There's some great Saved by the Bell nostalgia there as well, and a Lance Bass sampler with a bass fish stitched in. Grab your Caboodes and Dr. Pepper LipSmackers and get ready to play in the Double Dare human hamster wheel (pictured below). To cap off the experience, there was a "slime yourself" photo booth that created an online GIF and printout of you getting digitally smiled. The best part is there's no mess. 

Snaps from the Store @ Story (c) PipPepPop

     If you're up for a "wow this is hard" guessing game, take this MTV.com Quiz to guess which musicians guest starred on Nick or Disney Channel shows. Please note this is a hard quiz. If you are close to 30, you will probably get more wrong answers than right answers.

^ The main Nicktoons include (but are not limited to):
Rugrats (1991-2004)
Doug (1991-2004) *Technically sold to Disney in later seasons)
The Ren & Stimpy Show (1991-1996)
Rocko's Modern Life (1993-1996)
AHH! Real Monsters (1994-1997)
Hey Arnold (1996-2004)
The Angry Beavers (1997-2001)
Cat Dog (1998 - 2005)
The Wild Thornberrys (1998 - 2004)
Rocket Power (199-2004)
Spongebob Squarepants (1999- present)

Boy Bands + Zombies - Music = Dead 7

     I thought it was a joke when I first heard it, but there was going to be a movie starring members of boy bands.  It was going to be on SyFy on April Fools Day, and this is the same network that green-lit the Sharknado trilogy. Even better than that, it was going to be a western... written by Nick Cater from The Backstreet Boys.  It was not the highest of cinematic fare, but I loved seeing the 90's pinups (BSB, N*SYNC, 98 Degrees, O-Town) fighting zombies. There was also the interesting (and somehow perfect casting of bay boy A.J. McLean as the head zombie's crazy henchman. What can I say, I'm easily amused.

Here are 10 important things I learned from watching Dead 7:

Chris Kirkpatrick sans eye
(Photo courtesy of Mashable)

10. Chris Kirkpatrick is still the last one picked. The N*SYNC guy played the town sheriff, not a member of the 7, and he somehow managed to lose an eye to the evil zombie queen, Apocolypta.

9. Jeff Timmons (98 Degrees) still looks dam good covered in dirt. He may be the hottest member of the 98. But what confused me greatly about Jeff's place  in general in this movie is his motive. Something terrible caused a rift between Jeff's character Billy and his brother Jack (Nick Carter) before the zombie apocalypse, and it had to do with "can't make up my mind" Daisy Jane. This was a fairly big plot point that was never explained. More importantly, where are people still getting hair gel after the zombie apocalypse?

8. Joey Fatone (N*SYNC) will never be a mustache guy. He can absolutely be a goatee guy, or  a  5 o'clock shadow guy, but his Yosemite Sam 'stache makes him look like a civil war general.

7. Nobody in the costume department knows what a ninja looks like. Erik-Michael Estrada's (O-Town) character was a ninja with a man bun, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shell, two swords, cargo pants, and sneakers.

The Men of Dead 7 (Photo from of Zap2It)
Jeff, Chris, Howie, Nick, A.J., Erik, Joey

6. Faced with too many Latinos in the cast, Howie Dorough (BSB) became The Vaquero and Erik-Michael became the ninja known as Kimodo. Somehow A.J. McLean (BSB) looks like a bloody clown.

5. Zombie henchmen look a lot like... a vampire slayer. Compare A.J. (as Johnny Vermillion, not his early 2000's solo alter ego Johnny Suede) on the left with with the first vampire slayer Sineya (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Maybe there was something missing from the very confusing exposition about all of the vampires being wiped off the earth before "the plague"? Maybe A.J. was actually a vampire, or more likely, an insane clown posse fan (a.k.a. Juggalo).

     Both characters talked in a similar manner, mostly growling. Sineya the slayer's words translated to the following:
"I have no speech. No name. I live in the action of death, the blood cry, the penetrating wound. I am destruction. Absolute... Alone." 
     Sounds like a zombie to me. Also important to note, evil zombie queen Apocolypta had a Jamaican accent when she spoke, sometimes. What was that all about?

4. O-Town sticks together. Almost the entire band appeared in the movie. Erik was one of the 7, Jacob Underwood was in a card game with Joey, and Dan Miller was holding it down as a bartender. Even Trevor Penick made a cameo as another more legitimate sheriff than Chris Kirkpatrick. Who was missing? Everyone's favorite teen heartthrob and occasional diva  Ashley Parker Angel. (I once waited three hours at the mall to meet him, only to be told I could take a photo of Ashley but couldn't be in the photo...)

3. Nobody likes the guys that flunked out of O-Town. Yes, during the groundbreaking reality series Making the Band, there were about 8 guys going through training to eventually form O-Town. The guys that were not chosen (and Ikaika Kahoano, who quit for some ridiculous reason) formed a group called LMNT. They were not cool enough to be be involved in this movie. Also important to note, Matthew Morrison (the teacher from Glee) was briefly in this boy band.

2. All the women left in the world are regarded as whores. Literally some of the guys end up in a whorehouse. All of the other women (the zombie queen, caught-between-two-brothers Daisy Jane and tribal priestess and guide Sirene (Lauren Kitt Carter) all are dressed similar to Laura Croft. I take that back, Laura Croft is dresses classier than all of these women as she raids tombs. At least the women were all wearing sensible and flat soled boots when they were running, no stilettos in sight.

1. Zombies are called copperheads????
I've got nothing to offer on this one. I am not sure why they were called copperheads. In conclusion,  SPOILER: Sirene is the only one who survived so my moral of the story is that men should not be left in charge of a post-apocalyptic world. (DROPS MIC).

A Note About Boy Band Reunions!

I was a loyal watcher of the early reality show Making the Band, back in 2000. For you youngins, it was like "American Idol" and "Real World" combined into one show.

Here's how it worked: Guys auditioned to be in a band. A bunch made the cut, and lived and sang together. They got voted off by some "music professionals," (thankfully a show where America doesn't choose) and eventually got 5 guys. One guy had a whiny girlfriend (Shelli). Then one guy quit because it was too much pressure (Ikaika), and got replaced by another guy (Dan). They put out a single and an album. Then the reject guys formed their own band (LMNT). Then they faded into onscurity. One became a carpenter (Jakob). One re-launched his singing career and reality start status in 2006 (Ashley). I went to a mall to meet him.

Then in 2011, they decided to have a reunion??? Check out the story from EW.