Notes from the Supermarket: Ice Cream

 

 

In searching for a delicious ice cream sandwich at the supermarket, I just came across this gem, Good Humor's WWE-themed cookie ice cream sandwiches. I hope they are strong enough to sustain a hot day, or being crushed by a chair....

I Know That Game: A Review of 'The Floor is Lava'

One of my favorite playground games as a child was Nickelodeon's  Legends of the Hidden Temple. When I think of obstacle courses, I want to see some GLOBAL GUTS style battles on the Agro Crig. (PERSONAL NOTE: I took a trip to Universal studios in about 1996 and my family and neighbors attended a taping of the show, and the crag definitely looks like more when all the lights and smoke are going.)

When I saw NETFLIX's The Floor is Lava, I was not impressed. I gave it about 3 episodes in a row one weekend, and only kept watching to avoid housework. First of all, the stakes are greatly amped up. The team that wins the episode gets $10,000.00 (measly by team game show standards, but that seems to be the going rate these days, and a LAVA LAMP.  The aforementioned lava appears to be hot, orange-dyed water. The three person adult teams seem to be extremely gimmicky, like groups of pastors that work together, or brothers vs. a pair of twins and their best friend.  The themed rooms include things like, a mysterious temple, planetariums and even bedrooms. I really wonder if this game show is aimed at kids (which may be why I don't really like it). It reminds me of  ABC's I Survived a Japanese Game Show, where the comments only demean the contestants instead of support them. Believe me, I love ISaJGS, but you know what you're getting with that and ABC's other misfit game show, WIPEOUT. The host is quite forgettable, basically a poor man's Seth Rogen. 

In conclusion, this is not a real game show, it is a poor immigration. GRADE: C+

If you really want to try some real game show activity, try out a ropes course. (See me in the above photo). Check out this perfect GUTS video below: 

It's not 'Folklore' Anymore: T-Swiz is BACK

Imagine my surprise when I heard on the morning news that Taylor Swift is releasing a FULL 16 SONG ALBUM tonight at midnight! I sent texts, calls and some carrier pigeons out to alert my fellow swifties to alert them about FOLKLORE. This is not just one measly song, but 16, and so soon after last August's LOVER. What will finally reign as the song of the summer? I'm counting the minutes until midnight.

GIF from GIPHY

Love Notes: RHONY Season 12.1 - Bethenny Who?

I am now addicted to RHONY, also known as Real Housewives of New York. It's a sweet sweet panacea to see middle aged women drunk fighting with each other, crying over lost love, and generally making a mess... It's a blissful reminder of the "before" times. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the season 12 premiere:

Exchange between Sonja and Ramona:
R: "I thought your dog is dead...?"
S: "No he's alive and humping."

Tinsley:
"I won't cheers if you're not drinking alcohol!"

Dorinda:
"I'm the only one in this group that really knows how to throw a party."

Ramona:
I just want someone to love me again!!!!!

John the dry cleaner:
"Why are we having a party for Luann getting off probation? This happens to people all the time."

Leah:

• Last week, I got drunk and lost my channel bag and passport.
• William looks like the kind of guy where you have to say "what are you rubbing my thigh?"

BEST ACTION: Drag queen dances to Luann's single, "Feeling Jovani." 

Holiday Diaries: 2021 Quarantine Predictions

 

When will we return to our "new normal" of post-quarantine life?

The SURVEY DID NOT SAY EASTER. 

Holiday Diaries: St. Patrick's Day in Quarentine

 

 Today marks the first holiday of the 2020 quarantine. There will be no parades, no green beers, and thankfully for the entire NJ transit and Metro North teams, no insanely crowded trains with people attempting to complete a keg stand. While I will not miss most of the things listed in the previous thought, I'm not sure if being home for a week or so will really be a week or so... * The grocery store is flooded with corned beef, and no other meats. 

* The toilet paper and paper towels have been cleaned out. 

*The bread is flying off the shelves like there is about to be an insane Nor'easter. 

 Over the weekend, my family enjoyed corned beef and cabbage at a restaurant before they were forced to shut down for curbside takeout only. It was a hollow sense of joy, and uncertain future. Quarantine has begun.