The act of practicing yoga is often regarded by some people as transformation experience. I'm no expert, but I try it as best I can. Unlike most other types of fitness classes, a yoga class is more about the journey than the end result. Tonight I had my first class in a few weeks and I got back on the mat.
I came to yoga with some reservations, but tried to keep an open mind. I wasn't sure if would fit in, or if I could be as flexible as another person in the class. After over a year of back pain that turned out to be really coming from a weak hip, I was up for anything. I had been working with a chiropractor, received hip injections because of a tear in a muscle, and done two separate rounds of physical therapy. I jumped in 4 years ago with some new leggings and a new mat, remembering that at the end of the class there would be a rest period, called Shavasana. I have fallen asleep a few times during this time, and it is glorious.
I struggled with my first class, dropping from downward dog to plank much slower than other people. It took a few weeks to get the poses down. Over time, I got used to doing a flow. I've been in classes, in the dark, in a bar, outside, and in a sweaty heated room. Each time, I'm trying to do my best, trying to plank a little straighter or for a few extra minutes. Some days I've got a chance of balancing in some poses, and some days I'm swaying like a palm tree in a hurricane. Yoga, like us as humans, is imperfect. It's always going to give you something back if you give your energy to it.
Two years ago, I lost my practice after having foot surgery. After living with a burning hot sensation in the ball of my foot for 6 months, I would have done anything to make it stop. My yoga practice was occasionally strained by the pain, as I could not point or flex that foot. I went to yoga classes until a few days before the surgery, promising my two classes I would be back by February. I went to my first few classes still in my boot. It was terrible. I had trouble standing and I could not balance. At all. I kept at it. A few more months taught me how I needed to modify poses with my slightly desensitized foot (blocks are a lifesaver) and I got back to my old form after several months. It was during that time that the instructor's notes on breathing began to click. I would forget to breathe when I moved from pose to pose and I was losing energy trying not to focus on my pain. It was really that pain that pushed me farther. The more I began to breathe through the challenging poses, the more I appreciated them. In time, I could start to balance. For the record, I am still struggling with breathing through my poses.
This summer, I again had to pull the ripcord on yoga. Terrible unprovoked neck pain began, and I paused practicing. After a month of doctor visits and tests, it was decided that I had a slightly herniated disc in my neck. It's only herniated in certain positions, making it all the more difficult to control. My arm became weaker on one side and I couldn't hold poses. I then began months of physical therapy and could not keep up with yoga. About a month ago, I began taking classes again. I may stay a little longer in my spinal stretches, but I have gotten back to a rhythm. It is imperfect, but it's my rhythm and I'll stick with it. In some ways, I think yoga has helped me keep going through the tough times. It may be as simple as sitting in a twist and trying alternate nostril breathing, but I try to squeeze something in a little each day.
After the Shavasana, we wake our bodies up slowly and rise up to a seated position. The instructor thanks everyone for coming and repeats a phrase that means "the light within me respects the light within you." We all acknowledge each other (even in a class of 3) and thank ourselves for devoting the class and the time to ourselves. It's a very peaceful moment and can turn even the toughest class into time well spent. In conclusion, take time to respect yourself in 2017. Follow your bliss, learn a new skill, and devote some time to yourself. Namaste,
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