Hello Nurse: GH Hosts the 2016 Nurses' Ball

     It's hard to top an event when it's been done for the better part of 20 years, but General Hospital piqued my interest for this year's Nurses' Ball. The show has had it's share of dramatic moments over the last 50+ years and it did not disappoint. All you need to know (outside from the very obvious intricate relationships between characters that are made very clear) is that the NB is an event to raise money for GH for the cause of fighting HIV/AIDS. There are disasters, lots of musical numbers (everyone in this tiny NY/Canada border town is a showboater), and hostess Lucy Coe (Lynn Herring) usually ends up with her clothes falling off (but not this year). Nobody thoguht last year's ball could be topped. We discovered Jake Doe was really Jason Morgan (see more below) and we saw this unravel Elizabeth (who knew the truth and kept Jason away from his family). Plus, Ric Lasing proposed to ex-wife Elizabeth and got turned down, humiliated and had all of his evil plans exposed.

Lucy Coe and Richard Simmons  at the Nurses' Ball of Yesteryear (GH Wiki)

Here are the 10 moments that topped 2015:

Image from General Hospital Wiki

10. MURDERER BEFRIENDS KID

     Someone let goofy (murdering) Franco Baldwin (Roger Howarth) near children for art therapy? This might have worked when James Franco played the character, because James Franco is soap opera hot, but let's think about this. This guy murdered multiple people for his "art" including the beloved Emily Quartermain. Elizabeth seems to be way too relenting about this whole arrangement of her kid hanging out with Franco, the guy who murdered her best friend!

9. A BUNCH OF OLD CHARACTERS GO TO THE BALL TOGETHER?

Image from Biography.com

     Laura Spencer has had quite the 30 year career on this show, and the first real "ship" couple, Luke and Laura. With Luke (Tony Geary) finally leaving the show last summer, Laura (Genie Francis) has been kicking around trying to save her dumb, adult children from completely ruining their lives. She has mostly been failing at this. They have a small brood of unruly children, and her son Lucky (Jonathan Jackson) bailed out on his wife. Son Nikolas's life fails are outline below. Even her daughter Lulu has made some stupid choices...

    I think we haven't seen the last of Luke yet, but in the meantime, Laura showed up with no ticket, and was able to score an armed escort with psychiatrist Dr. Kevin Collins (John Lindstorm). So hello 90's, what end of the hospital has he been working in all this time?




8. EVERYONE'S STILL TALKING ABOUT CARLOS RIVERA

Image from GeneralHospitalBlog.com

    What is the big deal with this guy? At last year's Nurses' Ball, Carlos was on the run for something bad Then he murdered Duke Lavery after the ball. Now, everyone is trying to figure out who shot Carlos. (It was... oh who cares?) Now Carlos is gone. There have been a lot of murders and deaths in this town that people have made less of a deal about.
   
As far as I'm concerned, he  can get his own spinoff entitled:
 Were In The World Is Carlos Rivera... And Does Anyone Really Want to Find Him?"

7. THE OLD CARLY IS BACK! (NOT LITERALLY) 

Image from Giphy

     Carly Too-Many-Last-Names* (Laura Wright) is finally back to her evil tricks. She cat fights in the bathroom moments before her brother is supposed to get married and she wins! Carly walks out with enough dirt on her husband's baby mama Ava to keep Ava's child away from her forever.

* Her Full name with marriages is something like:
Caroline Leigh Benson Roberts Quartermain Corinthos Alcazar Jacks Corthinos




6. NED ASHTON STILL THINKS HE IS A ROCK STAR
     One of Port Charles' favorite rock stars (there are two, and the other one is played by Rick Springfield) made a rare appearance to duet on Don't Go Breaking My Heart with his dead sister-in-law's cousin's kid. All hail Eddie Main!

5. ROBIN'S BACK AGAIN!

Image from GeneralHospitalBlog.com

     Fan favorite Kimberly McCullogh played Dr. Robin Scorpio Drake from 1985-2001 as a child/teen and has been on and off since 2004. She is the hart of the nurses' ball and is a character living with HIV. Long story short, Robin was presumed dead for a while (She was kidnapped on one of the Cassadine Islands, as most of the people on this list were), but she came back. Nobody is really surprised when she pops back into town at this point.



4. THE GAY WEDDING GOT CALLED OFF DUE TO... NEEDLES?

Image from Soaps.sheknows.com

     First the mother of a groom, Bobbie Spencer (Jackie Zeman) collapses. She got injected with something backstage (and this is the least that has happened to Bobbie). When her son Dr. Lucas Jones (Ryan Carnes) arrives with her at the hospital, he was also stuck with a needle. Who's to blame, and is this a hate crime?  It looks like Dr. Liesl Obrecht is mad that nobody wants to see her perform. I'm not sure if this performance denial is her motivation for needling people, or something to do with Carlos Rivera being her grandkid's baby daddy. Can someone on this crack detective squad solve a crime correctly for once? Why hasn't Lisel tried to pick up said grandchild from the clutches of Tracey Quartermain while her daughter Sabrina is AWOL? Why did Sabrina leave her baby with the Quartermains, only to ditch her reunion with her kid to sing the last song of the ball? Please, PCPD, solve any one of these questions!

3. SAM MCCALL-MORGAN IS THIS TOWN'S DA VINCI

Image from Giphy

     Kelly Monaco's Sam came to town as a salvage boat captain after playing Dr. Collins' daughter Livie on Port Charles. She charmed Jasper Jax and ended up in the protection of Sonny and Jason. I honestly cannot pinpoint a job this woman has had since she became involved with the mob guys, but in this one ball, she danced in a salsa number and served as a best man to  a wedding that didn't happen. Plus, she is gaining back the trust of Jason.



2. JASON MORGAN'S ACCIDENT GOT HIS MEMORIES BACK

Image from General Hilarity Blog

     Jason (Morgan) Quartermain (currently played by Billy Miller)  used to be a rich prepster. He lost his memory in a car accident caused by his brother, A.J. Then Jason got amnesia and became the right hand of a "coffee importer", mob boss Sonny Corinthos.  A lot of other stuff happened! Jason's nephew Michael became sonny's stepson, and  everyone had some more kids. Plus, he lost his memory for about 6 months  and thought his name was Jake last year. A few weeks ago, Jason got in a car accident, saved one of Sonny's other sons, Dante, in the crash. Now Jason has old memories and new memories. He is now trying to reconcile with his wife, Sam, as Jason 2.0, Jason is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He has connections to his past and the ability to feel emotions again, which may make him a terrible mob enforcer, but it's all he's known for so many years.

1. NIKOLAS CASSADINE IS A BADDIE... AND POSSIBLY DEAD?

Image from HighlightHollywood.com

     I'm not sure I followed the whole Nikolas (Tyler Christopher) blackmailing and sham marriage to Hayden and stolen diamonds bit, but I know one thing for sure. Nikolas wanted Elizabeth (Rebecca Herbst) all to himself last year, and he let her unravel by revealing Jason's true identity and made her go all Fatal Attraction on Jason/Jake (see #2).  Also, his nutso grandmother (R.I.P Helena) was the one who kidnapped and sometime brainwashed half the town (usually when they're presumed dead). Nikolas always wanted to circumvent his wild Russian royal family and their blackmailing, murder and kidnapping. Way to parent this guy, Laura Spencer. But when Jason (who is Nik's cousin's husband) confronted him after the ball, it looks like Nik landed at the bottom of a cliff. Now, Nikolas is missing. Who is watching little Spencer? His Aunt Elizabeth is a hot mess, his Uncle Lucky split because he is a terrible father to a his brood of children from other daddies, his grandma Laura is out picking up anyone left at the hospital, and his Aunt Lulu is making dagger eyes at her stepbrother Dylan's new girlfriend and nursing her injured husband Dante back to health after the Jason accident. Yes, everyone in this town is over-related. It's really gross when you think about it, so don't. I don't even want to point out Spencer's mom Courtney used to be married to Jason, who then married Nikolas's cousin Sam, and they are suspects in Nik's disappearance.

     Which brings me to the most  important question. How do people get out to Nikolas' Wyndamere/Spoon Island so quickly? Is there a speedboat I'm unaware of? It's an island and these people are walking there minutes after announcing they are off to the island.

UPDATED JUNE 3rd